Ok so I wanted to lose 15 pds before I went on my Mexico trip this year. I did not successfully achieve that goal. However I should be proud because I did break the 166.6 mark and managed to get down as low as 161.5 before leaving. I did overindulge while I was there. I mean I'm on vacation, I want to enjoy myself, not deprive myself and be obsessive over every little thing. I drank way too much and ate basically whatever I wanted.
Coming back I got on my home scale, which has known to be false, and it said I weighed 167. Normally it's off by atleast 2 pds, meaning I weigh actually 2 less. I couldn't believe my eyes! I was baffled that I could pick up so much weight in a week. Monday as soon as I got into work I immediately went upstairs and weighed myself. The scale then said I was 162. Ok so I gained 2 pds, better than last year! I'm starting to feel slimmer than I felt before vacation. I dunno if that's because I'm shedding water weight from my trip or if it was because I was PMS'ing when I left.
I'm really curious to know how much I weigh today. I weighed myself at home and it said 160.4 but if that 2 pound rule is true then I finally broke into the 150's! I went over to cardiac rehab and used their scale. It said I was 161.5 so I don't know what to believe. I want to really weigh myself on the scale in Easton so I actually can rely on the number.
I'm so close to goal, 25 pounds. I can do this because I've already lost double that!
Today was the checkup for my family MD to track my progress in the health dept. I am proud to say I've lost 5pds since the last visit and my BP was 120/80!! I haven't had it this low in a lonnnnggggg time! My Synthroid dose is going to be lowered because my TSH is borderline hyperthyroid. I've went from one extreme to the other. He's only cutting it slightly but I'm glad it's back in the normal range. I've been out of whack with my TSH for so long and I think it was affecting my overall health.
My BP was so great because I've been taking a calcium-channel blocker for the past few weeks. I initially started out taking an ace inhibitor and in fact my BP was climbing while I was on that. The Norvasc is working, although it's still not what it was 5 or 6yrs ago. My whole teenage years my BP was 112/72 or somewhere close. Hopefully long term my BP will go back to that place. I realize that diet and exercise may even make it possibly to eliminate the Norvasc all together!
The best part of the whole visit is when my MD said that I was probably the best compliant patient and the easiest patient he will see today. Nothing better than the doc telling you that you are doing the right thing health wise!
I'm so relieved to see that my health is going back in the good direction. It was so depressing for the longest time that I was 27 and having BP issues. Although I have a strong family hx on both sides it's still a bit young to be worrying about such things.
Anyway thought I'd document this and share my great progress!
My current weight journey started a little over 2 years ago. I am in a way suprised that I've been able to keep this weight off for that long. I've reached a stalemate in my success, I seem to be stuck at 30-35pds from goal. Somehow I think there's a mental block here. I should feel blessed some days because I eat like I was back in the 200's. For a year or so my weight has stayed in the same 10 pd range and I think it's time I do something about it. Mentally though I'm already resisting change.
There has been alot of stuff going on in my personal life and I want to turn to food so badly some days but I remind myself and look at pictures of the former me and I think "you've come way too far to ever go back."
I'm going to treat this just like any other person would another addiction. I'm going to take it one day at a time and don't look too far ahead so I don't get overwhelmed.
Ok so I am realizing that I'm mentally setting myself up sometimes for failure or somehow setting myself up to be let down. For lunch I went to Wawa and got a 6" turkey sub with a 2 3/4oz bag of Lay's chips. (They were out of baked) So instead of not getting any chips I got the freggin bag of regular and nearly devoured the whole 2.5 svgs/bag. I just ingested like oodles of points in that bag of chips!!
So feeling like I failed I was tempted to go up to the Jr. Board shop and buy some chocolate since I've already damaged the day. I know you are thinking "how is she conquering this?!"
Instead of buying chocolate I rationalized to myself that it serves no nutritional value and therefore my body does not need it!
At that moment I felt control and some pride in choosing to do the right thing. After this I proceeded to walk out of the front of the hospital and enjoy the lovely weather outside. It's perfect walking weather and our hospital overlooks a huge river so I took in the fresh air and walked .60miles in 25 mins. I realize this is a lesiurely stroll but it's better than eating that chocolate I almost gave into!!
I guess I'm going to eventually be tempted and cave with the chocolate but I have to be proud of myself in the times that I'm able to say no!
In one word that's exactly how I feel. I'm starting to gain back all the weight I've lost and I'm so disgusted with myself/weight. In one year's time I've managed to keep 50 pounds off which I guess in weight loss terms is great. However, having said that, I've still got 35 to go! hmph...!
Today marks a conscious decision for me to get back on track and lose this last 35! I quit going to WW about 3 months ago and I want to prove to myself that I can still do this without going to the meetings. I don't want to let one more summer go by and feel crappy about being in a bathing suit or be self conscious of being 35pds overweight!!
It's going to be tough because mentally I've been blocked to think I can never get past 160. I've even in my best efforts not been able to get below. The closest I've came was about 4 or 5 months ago when I started going back to the meetings and I was at like 161 on my home scale. Of course I never met that at the meetings because by the time I ate over the course of that day I had gained the natural 3-4pds.
I took a pic of me yesterday to mark this decision and will be posting it soon hopefully. I really need to update this page, no recent pics.
Yesterday, actually the past 2 weeks, I've been on a non-stop eating binge. I remind myself of an addict who slips and goes way overboard. I'm learning that I quite possibly have an addiction to food. I can't seem to stay in control and I find myself sneaking food and it's almost like I'm trying to fill myself with food masking an underlying problem. I know I hate to get all psychoanalytical but it really makes me think.
Anyway that's enough for this post and my rambles! Stay tuned, I'm going to try and make a better effort to use this site to stay on my target and get rid of these last 35 pds!!!!!
Well that's the final determined location of our long over due vacation. I've been waiting for this for years. I think it's one of the initial motivators I had to start losing weight back in Sept of '05. That and I saw a picture that blew my socks off. I barely recognized the 222pd woman I was in that pic.
So I have roughly 2 months to whip this tushy in shape! I have been bouncing around the same 3 or 4 pds since July and I've been OP since Jan 2. I lost 2 last week and this week I gained 1. I don't get it!! I have been actually trying and the scale is creeping the wrong way!!!!! I weighed myself like 3 times this afternoon before WI because I had a hard time believing that I was up. I'm talking drinking all my water, mostly eating my healthy guidelines and i'm freggin up!
I'm HOPING this is just a fluke and I'm in for a big loss next WI.
I just want you to know how much I hate it when you talk to me from the fridge. You, peanut butter, and your cousin chocolate with walnuts, you two are talking very loudly to me. Me being the polite one am answering your calls.
Weight Watchers' scales will NOT be happy with me.
Ok well the holidays are very near and I'm determined I'm going to start wrapping gifts today. I have had my Christmas cards sitting on my coffee table for a few weeks and have yet to get them stamped so they can be put out. I had all this ambition to get my Christmas things done early this year and yet once again here I am coming down to the wire and I'm fighting to keep up to be on time. LOL Best of intentions aren't always best planned.
Weight loss is sluggish, mainly because I have yet to really give it an effort since before Thanksgiving. I am still losing by .5 here, .6 there and today I was asking for it. Mark and I went out to the Greene Turtle last night (sports bar) and we had cheesesteaks, mine chicken his beef. I don't know exactly what I was thinking ordering that because I had chinese for lunch earlier in the day. I mean for me to be going hog wild I could've easily gained alot more, I gained 1.6 this week. Almost the same amount Mom went down this week. It's funny her weight loss and mine are almost identical number wise but in what direction they are normally different. Last week she gained .6 and I lost .6, this week she lost 1.5 and I gained 1.6.
Anyway I should be lucky that I'm even in the same 5 pounds through the holidays, maybe I will get a recharge after New Year's. I went to the meeting today and they've revamped WW. Core program has gained some clarity and the Flex points I've adjusted my point range. Prior to the new change I was at 22 points and now with the new program I am up to 29 points a day. I think that's too much. Plus the 35 extra. I think I'm going to stick around 25 or 26 to see how that goes. These past few weeks I've been averaging around 29 and I've only lost around .6 until today.
Mom is having a huge dinner planned on Sunday and she's making her traditional, famous chocolate and peanut butter fudge. I am calling among all the WW angels to save me now. =o)
I am staying at Mark's house alone this week because he's out of town on business. I can't tell you how badly I want to just eat right now. I ate all my points like 6 flexies by like 5! Boredom is a horrible thing especially when all I Want to do is eat!!! I'm trying really hard to avoid it but I feel like I'm going to just give in because I just keep pacing back and forth to the cabinets thinking that something has been added since I last looked 10 mins ago. Why do I do that:?! HAHA I just keep looking like someone snuck in the house and put food in the cabinets.
For some reason I just want to snack. I ended up taking a nap when I got done with my binge and now I'm not even remotely tired but very lazyyyyy and wanting to stuff my face. EEEEKKKK
My 1st WI I know it's mostly water weight but I'm thrilled none the less. This is the motivation I think I needed to get back OP.
I find myself making better choices all the time and not just settling for eating when I'm not hungry. I ate like a ton of food today and still had 1.5 points as of an hour ago so I just ate a rice krispy treat...
Trust me, I think I'm more confident now than I have been in a long time, I actually feel like I can do this!
