Why am I terrified to walk away from food?  Why do I covet my cookies so much that I can’t live without them?  Why can’t I just be brave and walk away from the dessert, extra helping, or free treat?  Because I’m chicken.  That’s the only reason I can come up with to explain it.  I’m a big chicken to go without.  Am I afraid that if I don’t eat the cookie I will never have another shot at the nibble?  Will the leftovers suddenly disappear if I don’t eat them all right now?  I must be thinking this way by the way I’ve been acting.  A big chicken to go without.

Well I have news for 2011.  It’s not going to be the year of the chicken again.  I’m not going to be afraid to go without.  My food supply will not dry up if I only have one serving.  All the cookies will still be there if I only have one.  No more being afraid to feel some hunger.  No more being afraid to push myself a bit more.

2011 is going to be the year of the flamingo! 

Step one: Commit to something…anything…related to getting healthy. 

Action Taken: Start a blog about my journey.

Step two: Turn dreams into goals by creating some baby step actions

Ok, that’s where I am right now.  Dreaming of being slimmer by mid-summer is all fine and dandy but that’s exactly where I have been for a while now…in dreamland.  Now let’s make that a goal.  If I want to lose 30 pound by August that breaks down to 5 pounds a month.  That isn’t so scary when broken into bite size pieces (which is exactly what got me here in the first place – bite size pieces!)

Now that I’ve set the mini-goal of 5 pounds in January how do I plan on achieving it?  It certainly won’t be radical like getting up at 5am to run 3 miles each morning.  First I love sleep too much and second it’s stupid cold outside right now.  I think we’ll leave serious exercise to another month.  That leaves me with tackling my food intake.

I am a master at lying to myself.  And I’m completely aware of it and still keep doing it!  I believe that’s the definition of insanity.  One lie I tell is “I’m eating healthy stuff so I can have as much as I like”.  Another lie is “I had a small breakfast so I can have a big lunch/dinner”.  A third is “I’ll behave tomorrow so I can have this extra dessert tonight.”  Do I really need to go on?  I’m such a sucker for these lines each and every time.

Here’s where the rubber meets the road!  I need to promise myself I will watch my portions.   I’ve read advice on this topic and it’s always suggested to measure portions.  I’m talking actual cups and tablespoons.  I really don’t see me doing that because that strikes me as really uptight.  I just need to start with just one helping then stop.  Also, only one side dish instead of two plus a salad plus a roll.  Dessert can shrink as well.  What’s wrong with a few graham crackers or a jell-o cup?  Nothing is wrong with those choices! 

So when does this goal begin?  While I’m going to do my best to start it right now and give myself a head start on that five pounds for January, I’m a realist.  I still have several holiday parties yet to attend where overeating is way too easy.