Tough news

I received some difficult news from a doctor on Friday and am struggling a bit on how to deal with it...may or may not post it here. Its been a rough couple of days and am trying to focus on the potentially good parts of it hoe ya'll are doing well.

17 workouts in January

I looked at my workout program at the gym you log in your cardio and it plots out how many calories realtively and how many workouts you have done. So I counted and I am up to 17 workouts for January which works out to 4 a week averaged and 4,000 calories for the month burned. That is quite an achievement even if I am up I am taking my measurements today and will see what they are in 2 weeks. YAY so go me.............................baby steps baby steps at least that is what I keep telling myself late last year I was struggling to get my tail feathers into the gym. I told Scott what I wanted for V day and he asked me if I really wanted a trainer and I nodded. Like I exclaimed to him I want my workouts to be more focused and achieve the targets. I am doing okay by myself with help from worout buddy (who is  a size 10 and runs a lot). I am doing her reccommendations, which is spinning, yoga 2x, pilates and 1 -2 additional days of cardio and dropping the weights routine bc the yoga can do as much for you and really strengthen a woman's core.

I was so sleepy today and was going to skip my workouts but my brain is thinking about all the junk that I inhaled this weekend and it becomes difficult to start skipping which makes me think that I have finally hit my own breakthrough (like the kind that Jillian says people have). Another YAYAY........I cried last night when one of the purple team girls were reading their letters and said something like somewhere along the way you forgot that you deserve this and you have to take the time to do this for you.....and that kind of sums up how I feel. Scott is working like crazy but he went with me to the dealerships while I ooed over the Mitsubishi spider and he wants a toyota,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so we are going to see if we can agree lol Rock on girls :)

Hmmm

I am at home today waiting on the cable guy to rewire our guest bedroom. It is almost like they should pay me for waiting ick cable people. So I went to my spin class yday and gay george our instructor was not there and perky polly was not doing it for me so the class was not as intense. I think if George isn't teaching I am not taking the class so there - but even if I halfed it that is still about 250 calories burned because the full hardcore class is 580 calories so yay me. I still hated it but sometimes you have to do what you have to do right chicas!!

K so I added up all my calories from yday and my total is ahem 1850 (sposed to be targeting 1776 but after a meltdown last week I personally feel that this is a good number) and I am down to 235.2 which means I have lost .4 yay............today's mantra is do not be like Miss Pigggy walk away walk away from the fridge ya know she used to be my role model she was always kicking Kermit's frog behind. (Humor people) I know  I have a strange oh so strange and warped sense of humor. I am somewhat nervous about beingh ome all day and around food when I am at work I am going going going all day and stick to my eating plan very well so this is a challenge. Rock on girls:)

Off the wagon

This post is a bit reflective and kind of goes over my weekend. I fell off the eating healthy wagon and this entry is a way to keep myself accountable and an attempt to get back with the program. At times, I think dieting/lifestyle change is like the tide, there is ebb and flow, sometimes I will be more successful than at other times. I stepped on the scale on Friday morning and was unbelievably upset that I was up 2.6 pounds and I had been ultra careful in what I was eating and excercising like a fiend. I am afraid that my brain said just eat it all it doesen;t matter and I just went with it unfortunately. I am going to post food logs on line to keep myself azccountable and try to keep myself limited to 1500 - 1700 calories. I almost feel like I am eating too much. So any guidance or suggestions ya'll can offer is appreciated....I have already packed my lunch for tomorrow which includes breakfast.

This weekend seemed to go by so quickly. I spent Friday night with a very dear friend who is contemplating divorce and got home at 3 in the morning and was so drained from being emotionally supportive that I had a quicky fatty brunch, then I went to get my hair and nails done, then over to a friend's 35 birthday party/barbecue (member we're in FL so it was about 70 degrees). There were about 50 -60 people at the party and along with some girlfriends I had about 6 drinks. Then Sunday Scott and I went to dinner and then today was cleaning and laundry. Some weeks you can put it together and some weeks you can't this week has been a straight up failure but its behind me and we are moving forward and tomorrow is a brand new day. Hope  yal'll are rocking on............................

It was orgasmic

There are times you just have to  have it - it was a small dose but still. Chocolate I was desperately craving something ooey gooey and sweet which is weird bc I am not really a sweets/desert kinda chick more of a salt addict ya know chips and soda. SO I grabbed a single serving reese's cup 250 calories but my daily total with reese's was around 1950 and let me tell you it was so worth it:) No workouts today bc I did spinning followed by pilates last night and tomorrow is the long yoga class see when I am up this late I want to eat the entire contents of my fridge insane I know but hey now you know at least im real enough to admit i get those urges anyway the dog and I are off to bed :)

SHUT UP

is what I yelled in the bathroom ob the scale. It has been an uphill battle to get my metabolism in gear so that I could get a loss of .8 or better. There were times I was ready to give in, give up and just scream I quit, but this week I lost 1.2 and broke through the one pound a week barrier and I know this seems beyond simple but it means that it is working. I have been thinking that maybe I am eating too much and too often but I am not. On top of all this I made it through the spin class today a whole hour even tho the instructor is crazy hes like work harder and faster. It was a very intense cardio workout and my thighs were shaking on the way out but I did it .......heck yeah. 1620 calories today and now onto my rant

A chick in  my office actually said you know most people gain all the weight they have lost back and my mouth opened before my brain could stop it and I proceded to tell her that I am not on a diet but a life changing mission and sitting on my assets with my head in the fridge didn't do a thing for me. The only thing thats works is eating healthy and working out and I had a spin class to get to. Then I said have a lovely day honey!!

It pisses me off beyond belief that people take out their own insecurities about what they can or can't do on other people. Insert eye roll here --- can't help it I these days I have no patience for stupidity!! Besides like my mama loves to tell me you can't appreciate the sun if you don't go through the rain. I have to admit that I feel stronger and more together at 30 than I ever did at 25. I know the woman who looks back at me in the mirror and what's more I adore that chick!! So there - I am so proud of myself that I made it through the spin class - didn't like it but I totally get why people do it its an insane calorie burn for an hour your heart rate is in your target zone and you keep it there I will be honest I didn't do the hills but I got all the way through it at 233 pounds.................LOL is that enough pats on the back

Oh

I have had a hideous migraine for two days(Saturday and Sunday). I did pretty good foodwise with calorie totals on Sunday being 1650 and 2000 for today. I took some stuff last night to kill the headache and the day after it just always saps my energy completely and leaves me a bit lethargic so I missed my yoga class today but am going to make an attempt at a spin class tomorrow. YAY I guess.........

SO those of you who aren't taking yoga don't really understand the depth of relaxation and flexibility that these classes give me but I love yoga - it just really relaxes and makes my lower back so much more flexible - including the spine. So give it a try if you've never done it I promise you will become utterly addicted. I got on the scale yday and it says 234.00 and this morning it says 235.4 this back and forth craziness every other day makes me nuts. I have to have lost something bc I didn't have my ff on Saturday or any drinks this weekend because I was feeling so blah blah. I just have to remember that the work and healthy habits will show up one the scale and it has to be a day by day thing. Didn't gain the weight overnight and I won't lose it that way either:)

Scott will be back on Sunday and I have so missed that man. Right now the guest bedroom has been doubling as my walk in closet because I shop all the time - am trying to get that room organized before he gets home because I promised that I would try. Have I done it - heck no I have to decide which one of 15 pairs of boots goes or stays (for the girls I am the ultimate girly girl / shopper).  So far I haven't been able to get rid of anything, we are staying in Florida permanently or that's the plan, we moved from WA state and I have tons of winter clothes that will probably never be worn again so I have to get rid of them all - that is my plan. Hope everyone is doing uber well rock on girlies:)

Saturday

So I went and did my yoga class yday and it was so relaxing and such a good workout that my lower back is still feeling it. Am not sure if I go do cardio today or tomorrow but if I don't shouldn't housecleaning count as a workout and besides that was ninety minutes of excercise yday.

Calories for yday were 1900 and little to no water...am feeling kind of bla bla today so will clean the house and see how I feel this afternoon.

Comments questions

Winter hair: Someone at work was being catty and I was being a wench and said I am so totally inappropriate for the season and stuck my tongue out at her - its florida we wear lots of color why not in the hair if its not like crazy

Cars : right now I am looking at a slightly used lexus that won't require payment in the form of my forstborn, toyota, and yundai sports car

Guiltless Grill: I wouldn't get the chicken again but the b;ack bean burger is amazing

LMN: Lifetime Movie Network - definitely weekend viewing, love to curl up with the comforter, dog and remote in our bedroom bc that is my tv and watch

SPA: full two day treatment complete with a you pick it kind of plan - like a weekend trip in February either down to the Keys or up to South Beach and a massage

If i missed anyone feel free to beat me with my visa bill :)

Yogalites

Eh its probably spelled wrong but I was going to do 30 minutes of cardio but I think child birth might have been easier I definitely felt the workout. LOL and I was so incredibly excited when I looked at my workout log at the gym because today makes the 7th workout in a row and for someone who struggled to go one day a week without whining huge major accomplishment hmmm I should go shopping while Scott is gone to celebrate LOL.

I am beyond tired so this is the end my friend:)