If you watched Oprah today, then you probably saw the story on infertility and American couples using surrogates from India. Personally, if a couple cam afford it then I don't think there is a problem. I think you can argue for or against the process or even that adoption is a better and more altruistic solution. Personally, I think that unless you have ever struggled with infertility or lost a child then I don't think that you can understand their struggle and how they make those decisions. I had a really emotional reaction to that show bc in all likelihood I will probably not have my own biological child (as I have already lost one) but I have four other children in my life - 3 of which I serve as either a step parent for or a custodial guardian.
So I watched Oprah amd then ate a whole gallon of ice cream - wasn't really hungry but I was watching tv by myself then hubby called and I was bummed that he wasn't in NY with me and then I remembered there is a one day sale at Macy's on Saturday which means I can go shopping and have a girly girl day!!! I also joined a local gym today and am planning to go workout on Saturday yay I guess watch me so fake it.......
It seems that my weight and food issues have taken a back seat due to some recent major changes which I am sure that you are all aware of. THe move has gone fairly well........the boxes have been delivered to the new house - which is a 4 bedroom and fairly large and it has a fenced in yard and is close to work and schools. The girls have been enrolled in a local summer program - one that has every possible interest. I have been crazy busy lately and am trying to get back on track with my eating and tomorrow I am going to get caught up on blogs. It has just been fairly difficult bc I am functioning as a single parent for the summer as Scott isn't taking over the new restaurant in Manhattan until September. I start work next week and its all been very exciting and is leaving my chocolate resistance very very low. I have a new fave song its called "I kissed a girl" by Katie Perry (I think) and its a totally fun summer song and its totally going on my IPOD. The new job means I am now in charge so yay go me - I can work from home Thursday and Friday and I have a nanny for 20 hours a week just bc I think the girls still need to know that an adult is around. Let's just hope that I don't screw them up during this time - altho I am seeing a child development specialist to help us figure out what they need. I do really think they will be fine bc they are both picking up the two big interests they had before their mom passed away - ballet and art. I have made sure that they have those two things in abundance (again sorry about the non food and excercise blog) but this is a huge part of my life right now. Hope ya'll are rocking it - I have a dr's appointment next week just to make sure that SOBE is what he reccommends - so we will see what he says.
This is a super short entry because I have several things that have got to get done today don't you just absolutely love moving YAY - eh not so much. Hope everyone had a fabu 4th:)
I have not read anyone's blog in about a month as we have been trying o get somethings lined out. I applied for my dream job in New York 5 months ago and have been offered the job with the same agency. They are going to pay for our relocation. Scott is going to buy out his business partner in nY and take over the restaurant there and sell the place here in South Beach. I will be honest that the kids are also a big part of the moves the private school that we have located on Staten Island is so much better than anything we have here, I am leaving at the end of the month with two children, two cats and a dog. Scott follows in a month and I am going to put the house together. Honestly I am just trying to eat right at the moment - my life is crazy and I plan on re-starting my diet on 7/7/2008. I am not going to go crazy but I am not going to tell myself how bad I am for not sticking with it right now. I am in love with my new house and this is a huge lifestyle adjustment but its for the best and everything has worked out os beautifully. Now i am going to catch up with everyone and kudos to Gwyn for her scale strike. And to Amie keep up the good work!!! Every little step gets us to where we are going and yuppers I so totally know I am cheer cheerleader:)
Its been a whole week since I have blogged wow -- it just means that I have been crazy busy with life. I start phase one again next week - I think its the easiest way to get back on track. So I have packed munch for tomorrow and fixed dinner for Monday and Tuesday night and that is a start. I have no idea what my current weight is and I really don't care I am more focused on getting back in the habit of eating healthy and I am a tough girl so I can totally do it. I have been focusing on budgets and fiscal matters this week. It still seems a bit surreal to me that my household has increased by 3 members in the last 90 days. I have worked out a summer scheule for the girls and I think it is something everyone can live with. My 4 bedroom house will be totally full by July 1 - I am giving up my home office so each of the three children can have a separate bedroom. I bought a laptop and small printer so that I can work from the island in the kitchen. I am also cutting my hours i nthe office to 24 during the week and tham means I can be at home during the summer on Mondays and Fridays and Scott will work the reverse he will be at home Wednesday and Thrusdays and I am working on getting a nanny one day a week. I was totally freaked over how we were going to swing the details but its like a lot of things it awlays falls into place with a bit of faith:)
On to weight loss blogging I guess, let's see I am boack on SOBE phase one and I am going to have to come off of it for one night or modify it slightly, my BFF's birthday is Wednesday and I am throwing a suprise birthday with help from her hubby she will be 31 and has never really had a big celebration for her and she has helped me keep me sane the past few weeks. I plan on getting the shrimp ceasar salad and a steak (its a fabu Italian restaurant in Miami). I am rotating in two yoga classes this week and maybe adding a cardio workout next week. I am taking things slow with all of the stress lately - I feel it is much more important that I get my eating under control. :) I am getting a physical next week just to check the thyroid and make sure that all of the hormone levels are normal. Would you believe it was 90 degrees this weekend?
Hope all the mamas in the room had a super special day. I don't exactly get along with my mom - we are way too different but she's still awesome - I got her maid service for a month for mother's day and she said all she wanted was a break from the laundry and the cleaning so I said k there ya go ma. I took my sister to a day spa that is up near Duck (yes there is a town on the Outer Banks called Duck its right next to Goose - I know twisted sense of humor it is near Corolla and near the VA state line). This is the first mother's day since I lost my daughter that I haven't been depressed and that makes me very happy - I know it sounds strange but it means at least to me that my heart and spirit are for the most part healed from that loss. I tend to think about her more around the holidays and especially this one but that is normal I think. At least it is IMO. I made Scott take his son's mama to brunch as her hubby is out of town and she has been very sweet to me lately and I thought it was a nice way to say thank you. She has been very helpful with suggestions about a private school that I think the girls will eventually transfer to. I think I have almost everything in place as far as that situation is concerned - its impossible to account for everything but I have done my best.
Excercise - have been making a concentrated effort to get my booty on a treadmill every day that i have been around my mama's cooking - its easy to see why the south is the heart attack belt. I took my dad's labs (read the hunting dogs) out for a long walk and then let then swim a bit. So that was another four miles today and I am hoping it will prevent the biscuits from settling around my hips. :) I did have a big slice of peach cobbler - it was my nana's recipe and I could never resist it. On the plus side I have been super good about trying to excercise and I am finding it helps keep my moods level. It must be all of those feel good hormones that the body releases (and I need all of those I can get lately). A super big thank you for all of the support and well wishes all of you great gals have been sending my way - I totally appreciate it even if I haven't been visiting blogs lately bc let's face it my personal life is flipped upside down right now. Hope ya'll are doing well :)
or at least back where I grow up for a few days on the Outer Banks of North Carolina and went for a 5 mile walk on the beach today so that I could think about things and make some decisions. I came home so that we could work out the issues with the girls, logistics mainly, like where they are going to go to school, who they are going to live, should they see a grief counselor (which I am not pushing right now but I think I should see someone so I know the best way to help them - their father has never been in their lives and their mom was a single parent). My aunt and uncle are still barely able to put sentences together (they are elderly and want to be grandparents not parents) and according to the will and everyone's wishes I am the girls' legal guardian. Can I just say how much this totally freaks me out? A baby is one thing but pre-teens --- can we say overwhelmed. The one thing I have been praying for for the past 13 days has happened - thepolice caught bleep who did the hit and run and this is his 4th violation for D and D. It just makes me beyond angry. At least he is in jail.
I also stopped to see my parents bc my mom wants to make sure I am still sane and my sister wanted to see me for a bit. I asked her if she was sane with twin newborns and she laughed (if there was ever a born mommy its her). It was good seeing family and putting together a plan of sorts for the girls - who as soon as I walked through the door stayed by my side like glue. I think we'll be okay it will just take some adjusting and I am starting phase 1 of SOBE again on 5/16 when I get back to Florida - see there is some weight loss type content so there ya go. Like I have said recently, my personal life is so much more than a number on a scale and I think every thing going on in my life affects my weight (and have ya'll tried to be on a diet in NC - I swear my mama has been feeding me collards, fish, corn bread and sweet potatatoes - yams to everyone else in the world). LOL she says I need to eat so that's ,more junk I have to burn off in the gym but I am just trying not to eat junk right now. I have been a very bad support group member so to all the FIT girls I hope ya'll are doing well and as a friend of mine would say " doing the bleep thing" - and have a good weekend:)
I adore this show it is probably the one show that I absolutely can't miss. I curled up with the dog and had a Grey's Anatomy athon - watched the previous 3 seasons:) A quick thanks for all the well wishes - I should get back to reading blogs but have been feeling kind of ehh for obvious reasons. I printed out menus for this week and cleaned out the kitchen of all the no no food and stepped on the scale. Normally I wouldn't be happy about gaining but I am at 224 which means i have only gained 2 pounds throughout this whole mess and that makes me feel better. It looks like I will have the girls for the entire summer as their grandparents aren't up to taking care of them right now. This is a major undertaking so I am hoping I will be a good influence. Six months ago there were no children around and now I am "mom" of a sort to three. I almost feel that I should apologize that this blog is not really weigh loss based lately due to a personal message I got then I thought screw that - if you don't like it don't read it - end of moderate rant. Hope ya'll are rocking the weight loss thing:)
In an effort to stop the excessive emotional eating that I have been doing I am blogging about the recent loss. My first cousin who is about a year older has always been one of my BFFs and like a sister. She was hit head on by a drunk driver and if she had been wearing a seatbelt she would still be here and it completely broke my heart. I have cried myself out for her two girls (9 and 10)who will now be raised by their grandparents and spend lots of time with me as I am their only godparent. I feel selfish bc I am actually starting to think about what I am eating and that I need to get to the gym but I still have to take care of myself even if I am still sad. Now I have to go walk the dog tc all :)
Haven't been around much due to a totally unexpected death in the family...so emotionally I am kind of wiped out and we got back from NC and a funeral:(
