Well, I do think I am finally back on track. I lost 1.4 pounds this week and after several weeks of only a .8 loss, I am excited. I am .2 pounds away from the 35 pound mark. HAPPY DANCE!!!
I know I am still not 100% on food. I justify it alot by telling myself that I am working out more. I know that's true, but I have to be careful not to overeat because of it.
This weekend is my first anniversary with my sweet husband. We are going in to San Antonio tonight to spend the night and go to Community Bible Church Saturday night services. CBC is one of San Antonio's megachurches and our pastors' daughter is on the music ministry there. I am so excited. Our church is very small, about 60 people, so worshipping with a big crowd will be different for us. Their music is just amazing though. Since I sing on the praise team at our church, it's not very often that I just get to be a part of the crowd and be blessed by other's music. I am really looking forward to that. Anyway, there will be a lot of eating out, but I think I can manage to not go overboard. It's all about healthy choices.
My MIL pulled our frozen wedding cake out of the freezer so we can have some tomorrow. I'll stick to my 3 bite rule if it's still any good. The thought of year old cake just doesn't really appeal to me though. We'll see! It's a busy weekend, so I know I won't get in any exercise unless I manage a walk tomorrow afternoon. I'll do my darndest!!
I feel like my life is just so busy. I use it as an excuse sometimes not to be 100%. Gymnastics, Church groups... etc etc. I find excuses to eat out or not be 100%. I have to change that and change my ways if I am ever going to lose the rest of this weight. There is a skinny person inside this fat, I just know it. I just need to start eating like that skinny person... I can do it. Just need to focus.
On the postive side, I did get in 6 workouts during the past week. Nothing this weekend. I think it was pretty good though. If I can keep that up and focus more on my food intake, I can do it. I have lost 33 pounds so far. Not too bad. Just can't relax. I have to keep going!
OK. Time to face the music. I have to admit, I have not been 100%. I think after I lost 30 pounds I felt like I could relax a little, but the reality is, I can't. I have to be 100% EVERY day if I am going to lose this weight. I have only lost 2 pounds in the last month. I kept telling myself that I was still losing inches, but the reality is that I have only lost 1.75 inches overall in the last month. Overall, I have done well, but the last month has been dismal. All my fault. It's time to admit it, kick it in the butt and go on. I am going to get back on track, get back on plan and make the next month worth. My plan was to be under 200 by Valentine's Day. NOT going to happen, but if I make it a goal, get back on track, I think I can do it by my birthday, March 7th. That's my new Onerland goal. It will be a great birthday present to my self. I know I can do it if I just get back on track NOW!
I am still losing.... but VERY slowly. It's so frustrating. I need to get back to weighing in once a week instead of every day. I am so addicted to the scale. I know it's not healthy. I am going to have my normal weigh in tomorrow and then I am not going to touch the scale again until next Thursday..... I hope!! I need to hide it so I won't be tempted... Just like the FF Cool Whip! Can't have it around or I'll eat the whole bowl!!!
Anyway, I can't complain. 31 pounds and my 3 month anniversary on NS is this weekend. I'll do my measurements and see how far I have come. I know I am down to a normal size 16 pant... No 16W... YAY!!! That's a huge accomplishment. I haven't been in 16's since I was 24. That's almost 12 years. That's a good birthday present!!! We'll see where I am at on my birthday... Maybe down another size by then??? I can always hope!!!
I hate to say it or think it but I think I have officially hit my first plateau. I have been hovering back and forth between 217 and 219 for weeks now. I can't get past it. It's so frustrating. Yesterday I started making sure I get in all my food by 8:00 pm. Today I am going to start eating my dinner entree at lunchtime to see if those heavier calories earlier in the day will do any good. Something has to give here. I wanted to be under 200 by Valentine's but at this rate, that's not going to happen. I know it's worth it and I'll break through this eventually but it is so very frustrating...
I just uploaded a new photo here of my and one of my best friends, Tracy from last Friday night. We were at a 40th birthday party for another friend. I looked at all the photos from that night and thought, "Good Lord, I still have a LONG way to go" but at the same time, I can tell that I am losing. I don't have near as many chins as I did this summer of even last Christmas. Thank goodness. I just need to keep motivated. It's frustrating because I think I have hit my first plateau. I am working out every day, drinking more water than a camel, but only losing .2 here and there. UGGHHH. I hate it, but I know it's worth the fight. I know I'll get there. I know it. Just have to keep plugging along!! Lord, give me strength!
Well, 2006 is finally here. I am back at work today and actually happy to be back into a normal routine. Once my daughter goes back to school on Thursday, I'll really feel "normal" again. I enjoyed the time off, but I am glad to be getting back into a routine. I hope it helps all of us. My daughter was so clingy during the whole vacation. She didn't get more than 2 inches away from me for a week except when she was at my parents. My husband's depressed over it because he wants her to be more of a daddy's girl, but she's just not going to do it. She's mommy's girl and always will be. I think he just picks on her too much. She doesn't like it. So I have 2 unhappy people in the house. Thank goodness for work! I am still bouncing back and forth between 219.2 and 219.6, so I hope the "routine" works for kicking me out of that platuea, too. I am going to get back to my normal workout schedule instead of just walking. I hope that helps as well. Anything... I am ready to head to Onederland... I hope by Valentine's Day. Keeping my fingers crossed (and my mouth shut)!!
It seems like everyone is busy setting their resolutions for the New year. I have already started my main resolution, which is to lose weight and get healthy. 30 pounds lighter and exercising almost daily, I am feeling good about that part of my life. So what is left? Being a better mother, for sure. I watch my daughter, and she's so much like me... impatient, bossy, extroverted. I know I need to rein in the impatience. And, I don't really consider myself bossy, I just know what I want and make sure everyone else does, too. Is that bossy? My daughter's teacher says she is a "great leader in their class". Translated to she tells everyone else what to do... She is my child. I'd rather her be like me than my ex though... Selfish, mean, immature. She's smarter and more grown up than he is at 37 and she's only 5. Thankfully, he has no influence on her life. Only genetics!
My biggest resolution, I know, should be to be a better wife. DH is really a good guy. He had no clue what he was getting himself into when he married us. His mom and sisters doted on him. I make him fend for himself. He's clueless, bless his heart. I just want him to be grown up. I want him to take care of himself. In all areas of his life. He's 39 years old. Is that too much to ask? I guess... Oh, yeah, this is supposed to be about my resolutions, not my resolutions for others... I guess that list still needs some work.
Well... Christmas day wasn't too bad. Not like Christmas eve!!! I started out OK.. stuck to NS plan for breakfast and walked 1.2 miles. I ate a NS lunch entree to keep from being too hungry by the time I had my first of 2 Christmas eve dinners. The first was at 3:00. I did pretty well, only ate a very small portion of a few things. Nothing too bad.. some fat free spinach dip kept me from going overboard. I also drank like 5 bottles of water during the time I was at that party... That night is what killed me. My mom made baked potatoes with parsnips, prime rib, rolls and roasted brussel sprouts. I was still full from lunch number 1 that I wasn't even hungry, but it was just TOO good. I couldn't help myself. I was miserable. I only ate a half a piece of prime rib, very very small, but I my stomach felt horrible. Yesterday morning, I was up 2 pounds!!! So Christmas day was better. First we opened presents. My DH got me a new set of professional pots and pans (like we need to cook!) and a pair of princess cut diamond studs that I have been wanting. He also put a new CD player in my truck!! He's good to me. I had a NS breakfast and packed some low fat cheese sticks to take with us. We went to church and then drove over to my aunt's which is about an hour and a half away. They had TONS of food. All good and fattening. I ate what I wanted, but didn't overdo it. My stomach didn't hurt. We ate early, like 1:00 pm and then I didn't eat for the rest of the day. I had some NS pretzels last night to be able to take my medicine. This morning, I was back down 2.4 pounds.
I am SO pumped. I met my Christmas mini goal of 30 pounds lost 2 days before Christmas!!! It's so motivating. Now I know I won't be so tempted to eat everything in sight, because I know how far I have come. I know I have a long way to go, but 30 pounds in just over 2 months is a HUGE step in the right direction. Now... if I could just get my husband motivated. Seems the more I lose, the more depressed he becomes. I don't know what to do about it. He thinks if I get skinny I'll leave him.. Please.. why would I go to all the trouble of starting over with someone else. I am just now starting to get him trained! JK. He's just so insecure. I know if he lost weight, he'd feel better about himself. I can't do it for him though... He has to make that decision all on his own.
