128 laps with 64 laps to go

Weight loss journey

My Profile

  • Name: Beth20n18fan
  • City: Richmond
  • Region: Virginia
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 162.6cm
Start weight: 308.00lb
Current weight: 244.00lb
Goal weight: 238.00lb
Lost to date: 64.00lb
Remaining: 6.00lb

My Calendar

25
May '12
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Really Simple Syndication
11/30/2010 18:56

Been ages

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged, but I have been logging in my weight now and then. I have had some emotional struggles over the last couple of years and have found that the struggles are becoming less and less. I have begun a new journey into finding my faith. In doing so, it has helped me through my emotional struggles. I have found a church that has tapped into a fire that is burning inside of me. It has helped me worked through the things that got me to my highest weight of 308 pounds. At this very moment, I am exactly halfway to my goal weight. My goal weight is 180, although I would love to go lower than that, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. 

I am seriously contemplating on joining a gym. Up to this point, the weight that I have lost has been purely eating habit changes. It is now time to get moving! I have found a gym that has childcare included and that is exactly what I need. I need to be able to workout without thinking about the kids and feeling guilty because they are home with Daddy. With this gym, I can take them to the childcare room and actually workout WITH Daddy. I am finally in a position that I can afford it, so I think it is an expense that is worth it....I am worth it!
I have changed so much over the last year, it is incredible. I am really enjoying buying clothes for myself. I feel a sense of accomplishment. I am finally doing it and beginning to see the differences! I do still battle the mirror occasionally, but that is bound to happen. Some days, I can really see the transformation, but there are others that I still feel like a fat cow. One day at time though. I just keep telling myself that I have lost over 60 pounds! :O

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07/15/2009 19:19

Here

Ahhhh, been MIA for a short bit there. I am going through some changes and I need to get a handle on that. The swelling went down and that meant no more restriction. I was feeling starved. I felt hungry all of the time, bc we are only supposed to eat a medicine cap full of food at a time and to work on only have 3 "meals" a day. Well, with no restriction, that was just not possible. The weight loss came to a sreeching halt. I moved into soft foods and lost my mind. I did gain 2 pounds back. I had to stop and refocus myself. I had to tell myself that I need to work on getting low fat/high protein foods in first. After that, good veggies...
So, I went to see my doc for the post op appointment. He said that all is good and that I could move to solid foods. That is when I really buckled down with actual nutrition. I am not limiting myself to the medicine cups, as I am beginning to think that is for when I have a fill. Anyway, I am not limiting myself on how much food I can have. I am just making sure that I eat a protein filled breakfast and lunch, then whatever grams of protein I need for dinner with veggies. If I get hungry in between, I eat something small, low cal, low fat. I know, these are things that are common sense. These are things that everyone, or close to everyone, is doing to lose weight. Yes, these are things that I have done before. That is why the lapband is just a tool. It does not work on it's own. I still have to put in work, too. Anyway, I have lost those two pounds that I gained.
Oh, I talked the doc into giving me my first fill before I leave on vacation to KY. I am happy about that. Call me weak or whatever, but I just don't think I would be able to stand strong against all of the temptation without having the fill done. Believe it or not, I miss the restrictive feeling. I didn't have to second guess whether I was full...there is no doubting that feeling when you have the lapband. That is another thing...with the restriction gone, I am finding myself eating faster, which means less chewing. This has been veryyyyy painful. I guess I had a hiatal hernia that was repaired during the lapband surgery. Basically, for me, it meant that there was a wide opening from my esophagus to my stomach. So, food went right in without any issues...even large bites. Well, since that has been repaired, if I swallow a bite that is slightly on the large side, it hurts badly. I have thrown up from it, twice. BUT over the last 4 days, I have tried to get myself back into the restrictive mindset. Taking small bites, chewing 30 times, no drinking during meals, etc. Doing that and having protein filled meals...I feel as though I am getting back on track. Not only that, my doc likes his patients to get at least 90g of protein...I have surpassed that for the last 3 days. And that is with real foods, none of those nasty protein drinks. I actually think that is where I started feeling defeated. I could not get those down anymore. Oh well...all done and over with and I am doing better. Today has been great where calories/carb/fat/protein is concerned. OK Time to go pack a box! Have a happy and healthy day!  :)

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07/06/2009 16:44

Whew!

Been a busy few days. I had family come in from out-of-state....my sisters and one brother-in-law. It has been since Christmas, that I have seen them. I wish they had been able to stay longer, but they were here with a purpose. My 16 year old son was in danger and needed to be taken away from the situation. He got in with the wrong crowd and has been progressively going down the wrong road. Lying, stealing, smoking, sneaking out at all hours of the night, leaving for days at a time, then he got worse with stealing prescription medication, drinking, and I believe he started experimenting with drugs. I desperately tried reaching out to get help, but got none nowhere. It seems the man upstairs took it upon himself to intervene. As much as I much I love my husband and will miss him to pieces...he got orders to Korea. With these orders, it forced us to think about things and how we would accomplish what would be best for the family.
We decided that we would take our older two kids to KY, where my family resides. Jessica (17 yr old daughter) would stay with my Mom and Steven (16 yr old son) would stay with my sister. This is so I would not have to uproot them in the middle of the school year and start a new school. I, and 4 yr old twins, would follow in December. That was the plan...until Steven got into some trouble. My sisters felt it was enough to go ahead and come get him now, rather than wait. I agreed. These so-called friends of his are a bunch of druggin', stealin', drinkin', high school drop-outs, losers and they are on their way to making my son the same thing. So anyway, that is where I have been the last few days.
I got him all packed and got him out of this place! :) I couldn't be more happy to get him away from these people. I just hope he takes this opportunity to take a look at himself and make the right decisions with this rare second chance. I love him and I miss him, but I know with every fiber of my being that this was the best thing for him.
So yeah, we had a good time while everyone was here. Went to a beautiful park for the little ones, had a cookout two days in a row, kids swam, adults soaked in hot tub, went to fireworks, etc. Can't wait to go visit in August.
As for the weight loss, it has slowed down a lot. I know why. I feel starved all of the time. I guess the swelling is just about gone. The liquids are pretty much going right through now. I'm not feeling full at all now. Therefore, I am drinking more and more to try to have the satisfied feeling. I even tried thicker soups. I am glad that I am only two days from my post op appointment. The doctor should be moving me to the soft foods...maybe I will start feeling full with that.
The pain is all gone, except when I lay down on my tummy. Unfortunately, I lay half on my tummy to sleep. So, I do still take a perc right before bedtime, so it doesn't hurt to lay down. Other than all that, I am doing well. I feel good! :) OK Time to get off of here and get some errands done. Have a happy and healthy day!!!

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07/02/2009 16:26

Slowing down

The weight loss is slowing down and I am OK with that. It is almost time to start weighing in every other day, instead of every day. I am at exactly 14 pounds lost...in 7 days. Not too shabby! :) I am starting to incorporate more real foods. I can't stand these protein drinks. I am beginning to gag at the sight of them. I had some rather runny scrambled eggs (well, egg) for dinner last night and for breakfast today...with a little bit of melted shredded cheese. I really wish they would come up with some sort of protein pill that you can take like a vitamin! LOL Or if they would make some of these protein bars, or whatnot, with carb control in mind. No everyone that needs those protein bars, need the carbs for workouts. OK Enough of the semi-rant. ;)
I am doing well. Making good choices. Down to one pain pill to help me sleep comfortably at night. Still need to get in more protein. Although, I am not tooooo concerned. My doc wants 90g a day, but everywhere I read, says 50g. Now, that is not to say that I am not going to try for the 90g every day, but I am not going to freak out if I don't get it. Alrighty, I need to get off of here and get moving. I need to clean the house, bc my sisters and one brother-in-law are going to visit for the weekend! You all have a happy and healthy day!

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06/29/2009 14:12

Moving along

Still moving down on the scale. I don't feel it yet, but that is OK. It will come. I feel good anyway. Not much to say today, but I did 88g of protein in yesterday. It really did help that I made myself start early in the morning with that big 32oz protein drink. I wish I could find a flavor that I like. I will try another flavor today. I have tried mixed berry and cookies and cream so far. Maybe banana cream will be my savior! Let's hope...lol. Thanks for the comments, by the way. I don't feel quite empowered yet. I think that will come with going back to solid foods. Right now, I feel as though I am just following doctor's orders. Make sense? I mean I kind of do, because I am making the choice of what I am still putting in my body. I could easily still eat tons of ice cream and bad-for-you-drinks. These things will still go through the band with no problems. Anything liquid will go through. So, in that regard, I am feeling pretty good about myself. :) Anyway, have a happy and healthy day!!

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06/28/2009 15:46

More like it

I actually had more real stuff yesterday and it reflects on the weight loss. I actually get nervous if I lose too much, too quick. I will be happy with a couple pounds a week. I actually had some cream of broccoli soup and cream of mushroom soup yesterday...both strained, so no solids get stuck. It has been interesting using baby bowls and utensils...lol. BUT it helps a lot with not overeating and gulping foods. I am still have issues with getting 90g of protein in. Although, I did better yesterday (72g), than the day before (60g). I am having a hard time with the taste of these protein drinks. Today, I am starting out with a protein drink that is 32oz with 80g of protein. I am going to make myself drink this before I have anything else. I am already looking forward to the "puree" stage...it is more like soft food stage though. I can eat egg whites and soft veggies, etc. The pain is lessening and I only took 2 pain pills yesterday. Although, my lungs are still hurting, as well as my throat. I was told that I would need to cough a lot to help get the gas out of my lungs. I have been coughing, but it still hurts. This is something I will call the doctor about tomorrow, if it is not getting any better. Anyway, time to get off of here and get to drinking and moving! :) Have a happy and healthy day!

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06/27/2009 17:48

Day 2

I have just about lost 9.5 pounds. I am still feeling loopy from the percocet that I am taking. I am still feeling rather sore in the abdomen area. Also, lungs are still feeling sore, as I think I still have some gas, from surgery, making it's way out. I am having a hard time getting all the protein in. I am doing a little better today, so far, than I did yesterday. I am looking forward to having other liquids, other than clear liquids. I think I am going to try some strained cream of mushroom soup for dinner. I am actually having some hunger pangs here and there today. Will update tomorrow. :) Have a happy and healthy day!

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06/26/2009 16:56

The beginning of my new life

June 25, 2009 is my new birthday. I had my LapBand surgery done. This was a decision that has been made over the last 6 years. I have researched and anguished over it. This was not a rash decision, by any means. It is also not the easy way out. I get frustrated by people who think and say this. The LapBand is just a tool to assist with weight loss, I still have to do a lot of the work. I still have to eat better, I still have to exercise. Anyhow, I am still sore today and exhausted. I will be on a liquid diet for the next two weeks. Mostly, I will be working to get all my protein in. My goal is 90g of protein a day. So, 90g of protein, 2 chewable vitamins 2 times a day, vitamin B complex, biotin, and lotssssss of water. This is my diet for the next two weeks. Fun, fun.

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02/05/2009 05:32

New perspective

Well, my life has just been turned upsidedown. I did go to my new physician and got my bloodwork done there, on the spot. I received the phone call on Monday, letting me know that the bloodwork was clear. They went ahead and did a pulmonary test, which I did just fine with. I also had an EKG done, which looked good, too. The doctor wanted me to go ahead and get a chest x-ray done, since I am a smoker. I had my psych eval on Monday. After she told me that I would fail after a year, she went ahead and endorsed the surgery. I did schedule an appointment with one of her associates to start working through some of the issues that might stand in my way of being successful. I just was not comfortable keeping her for these sessions. I was not happy about someone in her position telling someone that they are going to fail.

Anyway, I got a phone call from my doctor's office this morning. I was told that the results came back from the chest x-ray. They do not like what they see...there is a nodule that has been there a while and they want a better look at it. My first thought is that my surgery maybe permanently postponed. If my lungs are not healthy, I will not get the surgery. My second thought is that I need to research this. Well, I have an appointment on Friday for a CT scan. My assumption after researching is a biopsy would be next.

After all of the reading I have done on this...my next thought is lung cancer. I went through a lot of emotions today. Yes, maybe too early to do that, but I couldn't help it. I finally did something tonight that I have put off and put off...I made out my will. I discussed the morbid issues with my husband. I expressed the things that I needed to express. I told him my wishes and wants. I have discovered that I want what will be easier for my family. Whether I am buried or creamated - doesn't matter to me. Whether I die at home or in the hospital - doesn't matter to me. I want whatever will help ease things for my family. The only things I requested was not to be buried here in VA. If they go the burial route, I want to be in KY. I want a trust for my older two kids...as they will, most likely, end up with their biological father. That trust is to be held until they are 25 or to pay for college, if they so choose to go. And the last thing is that my husband buy my dream car. I have been working on getting my car and I would be able to get it July 2010. I have paid off hubby's car and have been paying on our other financial responsibilities and would be set to get my car then. If something happens before then, I want him to have that car.

Now I sit here and I am exhausted from the emotional roller coaster of a day, but I cannot sleep. It would be ironic if it were cancer. While I go through the testing to have a lapband surgery to get healthier and I find out I have cancer. Sometimes I think God has a sick sense of humor. LOL I know, I know...I did this to myself with the smoking and unhealthy lifestyle. Anywho, please hug those close to you and don't wait until tomorrow to do something!

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01/20/2009 22:06

The journey has started

I went to my seminar on the 14th. It was originally set for the 13th, but I had a scheduling conflict and had to change it. It was all good though, I only had to wait one day. I have decided that this is the way I want to go. I met with the man that is going to be my doctor through this. I really like him, He was everything that a doctor should be, especially in this field. He is not one that will just do the surgery because someone wants it. They have to pass a series of "tests" before he will agree to go through with it. He had awesome rates where surgery complications are concerned. Anyway, I have completed the first three steps of getting my surgery. Switching my insurance being the first, the seminar being the second, and a computer test being the third. I did the computer test today. I have an appointment with my new physician tomorrow. I need to get sent to the lab to get some bloodwork done, and I need a note from the doctor stating that my heart and lungs are in stable condition. I then need to get my medical records from the current location and have the doctor pull my weights for the last five years (one time per year). After that, it is the psych eval and I believe that will be it. From what I was told from the weight loss center is that I could have a surgery date as soon as 3 weeks after completion of the requirements.

I have started watching what I am eating. I am trying to stay away from the things that I know are going to be no-nos post-surgery. I have been concentrating on getting used to a high protein diet. Ummm, what else? Eh, I think that covers everything for now.

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