I have to keep reminding myself that halfway is just 8 pds away. 218 is right around the corner and to reach it I absolutely HAVE to get focused and remain that way. Then once this goal is obtained I cannot stop there. But it will be a major feat and the alltime lowestI have been in almost 10 years. This is exciting.
I don't know exactly how I want to break up this mini goal. I'll probably get to that later in another post. Everyone is so much more insightful than me on their blogs and refreshed and renewed. I just try not to get monotonous. That's probably why I don't post every day or every other day. Keeps it fresh I think.
What's going on in B's world? Same ol' same ol'. Lupe finally got a bath and a new cut. I'll have to take a picture since it is different from the last. I got my new photo software so my before picture should be changing within the next week or so. It'll be a hoot and this project I will actually finish. ie the closet project that never came to fruition. I'm a slacker I know.
Shelley---I got to the Bosu and it did not bust thank GOD! I told you I had a dream it kept deflating right? Strong little thing it is. Holds my big ass up and that's a plus! I will count that as a JFC WIN!.....yay
I am now considering purchasing the resistance bands and the abs ball. DD actually stayed in the "Kids Club" at the gym for about 30 mins without having a heart attack. The first part of the gym visit I stayed in there with her and then DH switched with me and then miraculously she started doing her own thing and didn't need us anymore. I almost cried. We will be experimenting again this weekend. Wish us luck! There a many changes going on at this SW corner. Too many banks BUT the biggest thing is that there are (3) gyms in the same area. Gold's, 24-hour Fitness and the mother of all gyms Lifetme Fitness. Wholly Cow can u imagine the membership fees at that one? I'll keep Gold's for now I'm pretty sure. Can't beat $23.00 bucks a month and I'm not ready to get into a bathing suit yet, so I'm not worried about a pool or anything. ~sigh~
Other than that, only experienced a .2 loss this week and I'm okay with that. Considering TOM and Church's and alcoholic beverages I'll take it. I'm moving on and it will only get better.
Talk to you soon!
ps. Oh yeah. still no smokie treats! blek! I'm better for it.
I was reading NetLosses friends blog and something came to mind I should jot this down on my own blog.
Trigger 1------ puppies, I love puppies and when I see them I just want to snack. LOL just kidding
okok Trigger 1---- Cookies. Any cookie. Just seeing them causes me to salivate and scheme ~rubbing evil fingers with a raised eyebrow~ I prefer them freshly baked. I love gourmet cookies that don't have alot of foo foo on them. I used to carry a keychain with the cookie monster on them because I ref'd to myself as such. For the baked good and for other reasons we won't get into. But Ella will appreciate it ...wherever she is....dag blasted!
Trigger 2 ---- just seeing the Chick-fil-a sign, or the kids area or the parking lot, and God forbid the smell comes waifting thru my vents in the truck. Big HUGE trigger.
Trigger 3 ---- Tortilla Chips (tostitos) specifically. The color of the bag, the size of the bag, how lrg the chips are and just imagining how much shredded cheese, salsa and avacado can fit on just one chip is maddening.
I found a snack that I really like though --- Honey Nut Cheerios (surprisingly low in calories) with banana and Silk Soy Milk Enhanced. OMG soooooo delishas. But don't overdo it.
Those are the biggest triggers I can think of at this moment. I won't get into the triggers of smoking just yet, I'll save that one for another day, but I'm still doing good, I haven't tried to kill anyone. I may be a little short on the phone these days, but that's about the extent of it.
Thanks for all the encouraging words the last 7 days.
No Cigs. I'm okay with this. As soon as my lungs start acting right I will appreciate my decision a whole lot more. Did I mention I've been asthmatic since I was 5? Yes, I am pretty much one of the many idiots on this planet, but hey at least I didn't still smoke while toting around an O2 tank.
These last few days have been not so great food wise. On Thursday, I was stress snacking. Cut down on Friday, but last night unexpected company and Church's Chicken. Blek. I have to get at least 4-days on plan this week that is the goal. "On Most Days" is the JFC mantra.
No interesting notes. There is a VolleyBall tournament going on this weekend at the convention center. I remember the days and do miss it. I pray dd wants to play when she gets old enough. I'm buying her a volleyball next year. I have to reach my goal you see, to set an example for self-esteem because if she's going to have to wear those shorts, she has have it all pulled together, and if she is looking at her sloppy mama it will just ruin the image. I wanna be able to wear those shorts too.
I want my athletic body back and I want to keep it for life. 2007 is the year my peeps. We will reach our goals!
It's come and gone. The New Year that is. So far it SUCKS! yea, yea, I'm supposed to have a positive and optimistic outlook, but quite honestly, the biaaaatch in my is moments from showing her ugly ass face.
Day 4. No cigarettes. I'm trying my best not to mope about it Ella. I wanted to call you yesterday really bad. Now I'm gonna try not to be a downer here, just realistic. I wish it was easier, that's all.
WI revealed a 2.4 loss, which is good. Just it always seems that when you try / no / stop smoking all shiznit hits the fan and everything blows up and all you want is a cigarette. But I stand firm in my decision. It wasn't the smartest decsion I've ever made in the first place and I need to just suck it up.
Again I apologize for a non-upbeat post. Just not feeling it right now. I'm sure I'll come around sooner or later. I need to go deeo inside and do some soul-searching for a little while. So, for a moment, I might be on here just pondering life's unfairness. But I will continue to comment on your lovely blogs if needed.
Just a few ponders here. It might turn into more, but I figure I'd go ahead and get if off my noggin before I lose it.
Why in the heck doesn't the Fire Dept answer the phone when a house is on fire? Too many calls? Whatever. Everybody's out. Moving on. Oh Yeah, our south side Chili's burned down yesterday. Poor poor Chili's (a shell of a restraunt that was) ---- it was closed.
When I get closer to goal I will have to pay very close attention to proportions. Not portions but PROportions. Y'all think I'm lying when I say my head is HUGE......It always has been. If I loose too much weight and my neck gets tooooo skinny I will look like a cartoon character. Not a good look for a human. So, I'll be paying close attention to that The pedi says dd's head is in 90%tile. Guess who she got that from? lol hehehe
I'm down to my absolute LAST 16 cigarettes. Oh, I'm finishing the pack. I'll go past the 1st but I've been trying to drink them away . I don't care. I'm saying goodbye to what I thought was a constant friend. And I'm doing it my way DAMN'IT ! So, save the lectures.
And I think this is it for this morning. This black background really strains my eyes to read. I want to change it but I don't. I wish EP would create some more, or I wish we could make our own backgrounds like myspace. Work with what you got right? We'll see.
Oh! one last thing I promise. My clothes are starting to look very sad. All droopy. This is good , but bad. I could probably just let them fall off, but there's a few places they can cling to. 1. shoulders 2. boobs. whoop!
Happy New Years Everybody! Be Safe. Don't drink and drive. Watch your glass at all times. A wine spritzer is a lower calorie beverage.
I am excited about what is in-store. I may not reach my goal, by June 30th....my 1 year Anniversary at JFC, but I will do it in 2007. On June 30th, God-willing, I will be pretty damn close. My avatar will temporarily reflect that I will be a brand new babe. I have a positive outlook.
My emotions, have been a roller coaster. My in-discretions revealed a .6 gain but who cares at this point. I'm not falling off, I'm just letting my heels skid like Fred Flinstone. It would be the REBEL in me that is allowing all of these things to happen and I realize that whole heartedly.
I'm kinda mellow right now. Don't have too much going on. We went to Dallas on Christmas night to surprise the MIL. They were grinning from ear to ear. It was nice. The food was the absolute best that I've had in years other than the gumbo that was at my Great Aunt Berthas birthday party back in November. I didn't bring any left overs home for myself only for the DH and he said that that wasn't enough, but I did ask him, and he said it was fine-----MEN! hmph
DD got more stuff, and is set till next Christmas. I don't know what she's gonna get for her birthday. I hope just clothes. I took my camera with intentions of taking pictures and that didn't happen cuz I zoned out. I normally do when, I'm with a group of people. I guess I just hear all the crap that goes on here at work and I just turn everybody off when I get home. I don't think I'm "anti-soc" but who knows. I thought I wouldn't have anything to talk about, that's why I've been in Stealth Mode, but it's turning out alright. To Blog or Not to Blog. I believe I will post again before the 1st so I won't wish you all Happy New Years just yet, but look forward to hearing all the stories and resolutions.
The other day I made a promise to myself. See below. Unlike most of you this holiday I have to work. All the way thru to Christmas and for the 2nd day in a row I am being asked to work overtime.
All the supervisors and outside resources Our Captains and our wrecker services and every other service that we work with is sending us food. U know because where stuck here providing the fine people of Travis County with this 24 hr service. called 911. There is sooooo much chocolate and meats and cheeses and left-over kolaches.
I am actually sitting here typing and crying like a fucking baby because I just want to eat. BUT I made a promise and if I can't keep a promise to myself who can I keep a promise for?
I am overwhelmed. Don't quite know how to handle it. (T) Co-worker has already offered me candy twice and said"you can have meat and cheese can't you?" I tried to say, I can but it's not on-plan. I had a hard time saying thankyou though because I just wanted to say stop offering me shit!
This shit sucks I just wanna eat. But I have work luncheon on Monday and Christmas dinner coming. I keep saying to myself that next year after I'm at GOAL I will have a little more breathing room, but for now I have a goal to reach and I won't reach it if I graze at the food table for the next 3 days.
Ugh! Help ~little girl voice~
B
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I want to call dh for support but something tells me that he will just say "go ahead and eat" it's not going to kill you-----blek
I've been sporadic with posting. My apologies in advance. But why do we apologize? There is no obligation here but to ones self. Right? But truth be told, we want y'all to know what's going on with us and to comment on our ramblings so we have accountability. It's a GOOD thing to be part of the EP family.
So.......
I get to work this morning and one of my co-workers immediately says "You're getting Sooooooo Skinny!" I look around the Ops floor making sure she's talking to me. Then I'm like....pause.....Thankyou? WTF Ever! Since when did 228 become skinny? What are they going to say when I hit 180 or 168? This concerns me. I don't want to be a bone. I really don't want to be as skinny as my husband and he's 170. Maybe my boobs will make up the difference huh?
228? you say......yes, this weeks weigh-in revealed a 5.6 loss. I'm not ecstatic about it because why? I technically didn't earn it. I really didn't work that hard for it. I had lapses. Most involved tortilla chips with cheese and salsa. I did inlist a little bit of help with some tea. But my body has a mind of it's own and it is becoming a pattern. Gain, Lose, Gain , Gain...then loose 5 or more, then the same thing happens all over again. I know I need to tweak some areas to become consistant it seems. I'm not doing anything un-healthily, I'm not skipping meals, just not consistant. I did however make a promise to myself.
PROMISE TO SELF
1) I will not snack (off-plan) this week after Thurs (which was yesterday)
2) I will get recommended exercise
That being said, I have nothing else. I am no longer a 1 income family. Thank God. and all is moving along.
I did finally get Ella on IM and we will battle this NO MORE SMOKING! Campaign------- together. She's a hoot! Luv her!
Talk to you later peoples.
B
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0936 hrs----okay C (co-worker) just brought in Kolaches....please pray for me........
I have a drawer full of panties. Most of them don't fit. They're either too big or too small. Some from preggo days. Some I bought and they were too small, but I vowed I would get into them one day.
Those days are fast approaching my peoples. I swear I have at least 10 pair that still have the creases in them. And oh yes, I still buy "packaged" panties. What a steal? 4-6 pair for 6-8 dollars. Who in their right mind passes this up?
My point in this pointless post......I need to raid my panty drawer and get rid of the granny panties. Save a few for TOM but that's it. From here on out I will buy sexy undies.
It feels good being able to fit into things that were collecting dust. I don't want to go back. Good news though. I had bought a sweater about a month ago with every intention of wearing it to church and it feels loose and sloppy. This is a good feeling though.
In other news.....
I've been asked to be the rescue photographer at a wedding in January. I love to take pictues. I've done 4 weddings thus far. And I'm pretty a'ight. It's hard work though. No wonder they charge so much. But she'll get a deal, because I am NO PROFESSIONAL. Pain $$$ and suffering $$$ and a bottle of Disarono will do.
Otherwise I'm a big ol' bore today.
B
****edit****
I forgot Iconoclast is my only male friend here and I'm sure he desn't want to read about my panties, but we're all one big family so........welcome to my miscellaneous world brother.
I will imagine that my sore worked-out muscles can actually be seen.
I will imagine that the only thing that shakes while riding atop the Marshall Family jewels are my brand new breasts.
I am stagnant. I figured I'd better post something. I worked out really hard this week. Getting a record 4 days in. Which is the most ever since I started this journey. My body aches beyond words and what do I get? Another gain of .8 (absolutely assinine sp?) But hey,....I know I did my best and I have not lost momentum. I was able to buy some Jenny food this week only by the grace of GOD. I was also able to buy a few more groceries, so I'm hoping next week will get me at that elusive 230.
And TOM came 2-days before weigh-in.........what fortune I have huh? But I hope that after all my hard work that TOM brought more than just a .8 of water. I hope that he brought at least 2.8 pds. HA!
So, I press on. Un-wavered. I watched most of The Biggest Loser last night. Amazing is an understatment. Some of the people looked a little ill. And the girl with the black dress and that neck thing she was doing was annoying. I know she probably felt like she was ALL THAT and a bag of bon bons but PUH_LEEEEASE..........
and then I went to bed. DD and the Sandman were fighting again. I just wanted to sleep. And now I'm here at work. I'm here for you if you need me.
...wherever she is....dag blasted!
, B
, B