The Beginning

Thanksgiving was a bust, and my daughter tonight looked at my stomach and laughed, and that was it... I am so tired of this extra weight,  I am hoping to express my long lost feelings ont this blog, which I havent ever done, in an attempt to let out these long lost feeelings that i never expressed...

Tomorrow is exercise and get on track.. Single mom here with 2 kids and my mom who has heart disease lives with us (another blog altogether) and life is overwhelming wtih working full time the kids, 3 dogs, 1 cat , the house and mom... Last weekend I lost it, and this feeling came out and I said I am so overwhelmed and I felt so much better after I identified the feeling.. I am hoping the blog will help to peel at the layers hiding.   I was raised without any feelings, everything was always fine, no emotions, my father an alcholic and mom in denial, an enabler, and pleaser all in one... It wasnt until I was 37 that i ever said no to her.. The growth then and at my divorce the feelings began to come out, I am 52 now and still deal with it...  I am raising my kids to show emotions as best as I can, when they are feeling sad, lets talk about it... Mom tries to mother them and it bothers me so much, I speak up to her now and she looks at me like I am committing a sin...