Sometimes you forget how far you have come

I have not been consistent in posting on this blog, but I remembered that from time to time I have entered measurements and weights and wanted to check to see what my last ones were.  It was actually pretty neat to look at measurements of my thighs, hips and waist as well as my 3 year accumulated weight loss.   A total of over 25#, and lots of inches!  It has gotten harder lately, since hitting a healthy weight, but I was happy to see that even with that, I am still making slow progress and the weight and measurements I recorded yesterday, are the lowest ones I have had since starting this blog 3 years ago.  For the first time, I really truly believe that not only can I get to goal, but that I can maintain the needed changes.   If I had lost 25# in a few months, I would not have that confidence.  Feels good. 

Finally found the balance; super foods rock!

After a lot of discouraging effort, cutting back on unprocessed foods, working out more and more, and not breaking through the plateau, I am so excited to have finally found a balance of eating and exercise, that is breaking through to slow but consistent weight loss. The super foods eating plan rocks.

Finally I am at a healthy BMI(24.3) and body fat(29.2).   My goal( I think) is to get to a BMI of 22.5 and a body fat of 25% or less.  I am figuring this means losing about about 11 more pounds.   Maybe less, if I continue to add some muscle mass.  I am pretty convinced that I will know when I get there, just by the way my body looks.  

Loving the super foods plan

Though the first week was a lot of work, it was really worth it!  I have really enjoyed the new foods I am cooking ( Steve says he has never eaten this healthy in his life and he is kind of a health kook!).  The best part is that there are left overs, and I have lots of choices for my lunches that I look forward to!   I am thinking this week will be a little less work, as I need to "eat up" some of the things I made last week, before adding a lot more.  I had the week off boot camp this week and am really looking forward to going back next week, but have also enjoyed being able to do pilates every day!!  I am realy enjoying pilates so much.   I joined the raspberry mid year challenge with hopes I can get the final 10 pounds off!

focus on Superfoods and portion size

Today, I am re-focusing efforts.   I am excited that the scale finely acknowledged my hard work and my weight is now within the healthy range.  I still want to lose more, particularly in my lower back and thighs.  Instead of looking at weight, which may not be the best metric for me anymore, I am going to focus on measurements and getting to a size 6-8.   My goal is to get my waist to 28" or less, and my waist hip ratio to less than .75.   The real goal is looking good in  a 2 piece bathing suit by August!  

Inches Versus Pounds

I am returning back to extra pounds after a long break.   I remembered that I had saved measurements a few years ago here and wanted to look back on my progress.  I recorded my heaviest weight and inches here about 3 years ago.  Even though I have not been posting, I have been making positive progress, but for me the journey is probably a "forever" thing.  This morning when I compared my current measurements, I was happy to confirm that I am continuing to lose inches.  ( I knew that since my clothes are getting really lose!), but I was very discouraged when I weighed myself and realized I have gained weight!  Not only have I gained weight, but the weight gain has thrown me back into an "overweight" BMI range!  I am working out 6-8 times a week and loving it. I know that I am gaining muscle and losing fat, but it still is discouraging.  Seeing my clothes get lose, losing the rolls of fat on my abdomen and seeing the measurements improve help, but I am having a hard time accepting what I am seeing on the scale.  

Not a good month, but ready to recommit.

I am having a hard time believing that the last month went by so fast.  I have not been nearly as consistent as I had hoped and things really fell off for much longer than I realized.   Let's see, I stopped recording my food, stalled quite a bit on weight training, no blog entries, no weigh ins.... NOT good.

I did get very emotionally tied up in what is going on with my neighbor's baby.  It is a very tragic situation and I still feel horrible.  I was quite depressed and not really able to stay on track. 

I have been on vacation the last 2 weeks, which was great, but not very conducive to maintaining daily routines.    The good news is that I was pretty disciplined with my eating for the first 2/3rds of the time, but to be 100% honest, once we hit all the great restaurants in Jackson Hole, I did indulge a little bit.  There was the " we have been really active" rationalization, but my guess is that I did a little damage. 

I am feeling really good now.  We came home to new floors and freshly painted walls.  The laundry is done, the bags unpacked and most of the photos uploaded.  I spent most of yesterday finishing up a project for my fellowship graduation which feels great  to get done and I am caught up on my vacation email.  I even filled out all the school paperwork last night.

I have decided to "jump start" my "re-committment" to weight loss, by going back on South Beach phase 1 for 10 days.   I realize that this has worked really well for me to " get going" and it is not so hard for me.   This morning, I got up and did a 35 minute work out on the skiers edge, 550 calories.  I am planning to do weight training tonight and get back on writing all of that down.  Fit day has redesigned their web site, which made it a little hard to get back going, but it is more cosmetic than functional, so I should get the hang of it quickly.  

Staying focused while coping with sadness

My last post was Friday, and that was the day I learned what had happened with my friend and neighbor's delivery.  My kids and I were so excited about this new baby and checking every day.  Though she had a very healthy pregnancy and dleivered full term, something went wrong during  the delivery and he has been sick and in the nicu.   I keep wanting to find some hope in the situation, and have been saying prayers and encouraging others to do so, but as a pediatrician, I know too much and  I am very worried.  I helped them with the transfer to a tertiary center, made up a bunch of meals for them and am trying to make myself available for advice.  I wish there was something more I could do. 

It has resurfaced so many feelings in me, particularly memories of what happened in my delivery with Ryan, and a realization that things could have gone differently, if Maria had  not taken quick action to do a crash c section.   It has made me so grateful of all that I have, and yet reminded me how things can change in a split second.   It has also resurfaced so many of the loss experiences I have had in the last 6 years.  Before then, I had not really experienced loss, and in this last several years it has happened so many times.  This has hit me hard and I am very sad. 

I am coping... I have not gone out and binged.  I am functioning at work OK, but I have had difficulty planning meals and really 'resisting" all of the temptations that have presented themselves in my " social eating situations" the last few days.  I have been inconsistent in my workouts.   I even forgot my training session with Mary yesterday.  Steve has been out of town and work has felt more like a drain than an inspiration.    It has been hard.

I decided to draw a line in the sand today.  I got up and had a long workout on the skiers edge... I pushed it hard and set a goal of 500 calories... it felt good.  I am going to plan my meals better and be really cautious about my eating for the next few days.  Tommorrow I am going to go run sand dunes with Mary ( sounds so fun!! ) and will try to do the hike and a bike ride over the weekend.   I need to get over my own giref,  so I can continue to provide what ever support they need as they continue on this journey.  My kids are watching my reaction.  I am OK with them seeing my sadness, but they deserve more of my energy and attention, as this is hard for them also. 

The Weight on the Scale is Exactly what it should be...

...given what I ate, how much energy I expended, the amount of fluid my body is retaining and other biologic influences. 

This is from Judith Beck, " day 21".   It is a good reminder chapter about how it is normal for your weight to fluctuate up and down, and how there will be weeks where your weight loss is minimal or even goes up.  I am finding that I really need to weigh in less frequently, to avoid that roller coaster fo the day to day fluctuation.  Weighing in every week or week and a half seems to allow me to see the general downward trend. 

I do think I have hit a bit of a plateau, but unlike other times, this time I am feeling good about it... For the first time, I am not really setting a deadline for this, and so as long as the trend is downward, it is good. I am past the halfway point!!   I am  at a healthy weight for my height  for the first time in about 2 years and much happier with how my clothes fit.  I feel like I am making permanent changes that will benefit my health and well being.  How long it takes to get to my long term goal is not as important as getting there. 

I really thought the weight on the scale would be lower, but it is what it is supposed to be.   And it will get to where it needs to be. 

It felt like I blew it... but happy to get back on track

As I am moving through the Judith Beck Book, ( beyond the point I made it before), I am finding more things that are pertinent.  Yesterday, I really felt like I had blown it.  I had lunch in the fridge  in my office, but did not review my schedule closely enough to realize that when I left for my 10 AM meeting, I had tightly scheduled meetings in several locations and would not be able to stop by my office until late in the day.  

I went to a meeting at lunchtime and all they had was pizza and salad.  i ate the salad, but it was literally just lettuce, cucumbers and salad dressing.  I did not think it was going to hold me at all!  So, I went ahead and ate one small piece of pizza.  I felt lousy about it, but also felt like skipping lunch completely was going to set me up for huge hunger and over eating later in the day.

I had a pretty unpleasant and stressful meeting with a physician who is not happy last night.  I had to reschedule my workout with Mary and I came home feeling a bit wound up.  Instead of working out, I talked Steve into making me a pomegranite lemon drop with splenda after dinner.

At bedtime, I felt like I had totally blown it!   But, I went ahead and calculated my intake for the day.   I had definitely made some mistakes, and it was not a day to be "proud of",  but when I totalled the calories and intake, I realized it simply was not that bad.   The pizza and drinks did not have that many calories and since I had eaten a healthy breakfast and dinner, with lots of protein and veggies,  I had still hit all of my goals for the day.   A study was released yesterday that showed significantly higher success rates for people who record their daily intake.  I really believe it is one of the most important things I am doing.  The good, the bad and the ugly, but I am accountable for it all. 

I read Judith's chapter today on " getting back on track".  She talks about acknowledging your initial slip, recommitting, and then drawing a line.   But the big point, is once you draw the line and recommit, you then give yourself credit for stopping and do not allow yourself to become demoralized.  Lastly, she tells you to evaluate and learn from your mistake and she includes a number of questions. 

In my case from yesterday, the lack of planning was really the culprit.   I can learn from that and avoid that situation in the future.  

In terms of the drink... I decided it is OK to have a cocktail sometimes with my husband.   It shouldn't be a daily/frequent event, but it is OK and not something to beat myself up about.  Particularly now that he has figured out a pretty low cal mixer that tastes great... the only calories I have to be accountable for are the ones in the vodka!    

Great Long Weekend from a fitness standpoint

We were invited to a number of parties and so I was a bit anxious.  Other than drinking more wine than planned, I did pretty well, in selecting healthy foods.  Fourth of July we spent at some friends who live on a cliff over the beach where they shoot off fireworks... it was spectacular.  Ryan convinced me to hike down the 200 treacherous stairs to the beach ( and back up).  it was a bit scary but worth it!   The sunset there was gorgeous.  On Saturday, Gina and I did our canyon hike and then yesterday Ryan and I did a 40 mile bike ride.  This was the furthest he had ever gone and it was really excited to see him conquer this goal.  He really has become a great cyclist.  He pushes himself hard and that pushes me as well.  I love riding with him. This morning,  I got up and did my longest skiers edge session ever.   40 minutes /680 calories).  I am soaked right now, but it feels good.