new motivation
Well, I'm doing better on plan-even though the scale is staying pretty steady. It is my PMS week so gaining .6lb was ok. Our leader gave a motivational speech about how a number doesn't provide and it's a guidepost on a multi faceted journey. I try to remember that, and think about clothes fitting better.
Anyway...the new motivation comes from last night, where for the first time in almost a year I hooked up with a new guy! He's not really new, I knew him from before, but we have never got together. We just kissed and messed around a bit, I'm trying to not be like I used to. A slut, frankly, and giving it up the first night. Anyway, he was a really good kisser and I had a lot of fun. I hope he calls me but I'm not banking on it, plus I am leaving in two months. However, I'm getting these rush of feelings, like still feeling fat, and like how could he be attracted to me? Even though this weight loss journey has been for myself, started when I was single and I still am single...it's very motivating when you might be getting naked with someone! I should take this event as proof that I am still attractive, even if I don't look like I used to. Sigh.