Plateau

I haven't updated my log because I'm too sad to do it. But now I'm 187, and I can seem to get below 185. Today I had a big brunch but practically nothing afterwards and have worked out really hard. I've earned 16 activity points this week so far and my WW week starts on Saturday! I'm sure I can get the max recommended 28 by next Saturday. The challenge for me though is food. It's always been food. I love it so much. It makes me feel good.

It's the sad subtitute for lack of love and affection in my life. Hah, maybe I should find a boyfriend. No, seriously, I want to be happy with myself and enjoy food for the enjoyment of nourishing myself, not any pain I'm feeling. I wish I was getting better at running but I'm not really. Arrrrgh. I really think it's a mental block. It's ok, I'm going to be ok.

On a sort of unrelated note I REALLY need to clean my room. The mess is in represents how bad I feel about myself, it really does. I need to clean the clutter in all parts of my life.