It's not really too hard to image what it will be like when I get back to good. When I think about it, it's actually pretty easy. It's when I don't think about it that it gets hard. I don't really want my weight to always be on my mind, but if it's not I tend to make bad decisions. Today, I did great all day - limited my calorie intake to about 180 (which is actually a little too low) - until the end of the day. It's just too easy to make bad decisions when it's a part of being social.

I live alone - no boyfriend (broke up in August after eight years together). I spend a lot of time helping my Mom take care of my Dad who is cognitively disabled by dementia. My work can be pretty intense - dealing with a lot of strong and variable personalities, and meeting solid deadlines. I like what I do and most of the people I work with, but every stress factor adds to the overall struggle.

So, today started out pretty well. Nothing too stressful all day - didn't have to stay with Dad - but the end of the day found me really wanting to spend a little social time with a couple fun coworkers. That ALWAYS includes a few beers and usually bar treats like chips and salsa. I set my limit at one beer (very seldom do I ever only have one) and just a few chips. Well, I met my beer limit, but inhaled an entire basket of chips and salsa. I can just imagine, now that I'm thinking about it, just how many grams of fat and all the oils that were in those chips. They were damn good, but were they worth it?

I guess I need to remember the bright side - before I started making a more concerted effort, I would have had a bunch of beers and probably more than just that basket of chips. Every little victory counts... and maybe I shivered off some of those chips when I left in the 13 degree weather!!

That's the end of today. I'll try harder tomorrow... and try to get a little dedicated exercise time worked into my day. Can I get up at 6am, when my alarm goes off? We'll see - keep your fingers crossed!!!

~ D