TGIT

thank god it's thursday!   i had a rough week.  it's especially hard because when i feel stressed i tend to turn to food. when i hate my job, brownies make it better! i have had some problems at work but hopefully this too will pass. seems like i go on a rollercoaster of liking my job and coworkers to wishing i could quit and punch some people in the throat.  but i'm off tomorrow and have an extra long weekend ahead!  we are going to ann arbor for a wedding and even tho it's a long drive from jersey it will be really fun!  i have a cute black dress to wear (i think i lost my spanx...boo) and the weather should be nice.  i have a terrible sore throat but weight-wise it was a pretty good week. down 3lbs!  i wish i had exercised more but after a bad day, i just want to cuddle up to my tivo. hopefully getting cooler outside will motivate me to get out and get moving.   thanks everyone for the nice comments and messages. i'll keep you posted!

um no

 ok so i just scrolled down the page and see this "my photos" with this huge (sorry, sorry) lady who is probably about 90 as the before and then a slim 22  year old doing some interpretive dance.    i dont know about anyone else but those are not "MY PHOTOS"!  haha  

First day of the rest of your life?

 SOOOO like everyone else, i have been doing the battle of the bulge for as long as i can remember. i always denied it to myself and made excuses. i dont mind being a big girl but i always wonder what it would be like on the other side....

in december 2007, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed. it was the absolute best day of my life. seriously, i'm talking in the east village in nyc followed by dinner on park ave and a carriage ride in central park!  BUT this is where it all unravels because when i look the first picture of us as ENGAGED (taken by swedish tourists) i dont get welled up with emotion in the way i should. i think of how FAT i look. later in the evening i wised up and put a scarf around my neck to hide my other chins, haha (fucking love winter) and i like THOSE pics but i can see that i have a problem here. add that to the fact that i have to flounce around in a DRESS and have millions of photos taken of me. i dont want to be mortified of my wedding pictures!

so i started dieting and i'll be real with you, it was futile. i lost probably 15lbs give or take from then until now and its SEPTEMBER.  somethings gotta give here people!  so a friend told me about phentermine blah blah and here we are. so i'm going to attempt to blog and keep up with my progress here. i hope i can be an inspiration (dont punch me, i said HOPE) and find people who can relate. so comment if you want or just tune in but this time, i'm serious......who's with me   :O)