I wasn't always overweight.  At my lightest I weighed 185.  My weight gain began in 2001 after September 11th.  There was the actual tragic event, the death of my grandfather, my aunt dying of cancer, and another aunt passing away.  All of these events happened within the same time period.  I also entered into what would end up being an emotionally draining relationship.

At the time I felt that I entered the relationship because my girlfriend was "hot" and because it made me feel good to help someone who was in a tough situation.  My girlfriends mom had just had a  hysterectomy and she was concerned that something would happen to her.  I was there for her emotionally.  She also had a problem with anger managent, anxiety and suffered from depression.  I had what some would call a "super hero" complex.  I try to save people.  In that journey I ended up getting sucked in to the anxiety and depression.  

I started writing a journal (which I highly recommend) and I noted the very close correlation between my interactions with said "ex" with anxiety and depression.  I had both the best of times and the worst times with her.  This made it extreemly difficult to leave her.  It made it even harder that I loved her.  I planned to spend the rest of my life with her and to have children.  I was willing to endure, be patient, and love.  It ended in the breath of fresh air, and a sigh of relief when I broke up with her.

A month later we ended up getting back together off and on for a year.  This by far was the worst year of my life.  I will never break up with a girl and then waiver.  Again, I noticed a pattern in my journal, and finally cut her off completly from my life.

With that being said, I choose another path.  I left the relationship having gained weight, fallen into a deep depression and full of anxiety.  I was however looking foward to getting back to the time that I spoke about in my journal.  A time when my body was healthy, my mind was sharp, and my soul was a little more full. I was never perfect, and never fully satisfied with who I was, but I was certainly (in some respects) in a better place that I am now.  

I am currently very successful at work, young (in my late 20's), educated, and in general - happy.  I have many days where I feel like I should be somewhere else.   I want a sharper mind, to be physically healthy, and to once again have a more healthy soul.  I've been doing what I can to make my mind much more clear, but my body is in need of attention (its fortunate that I'm still young and able), and my soul is reaching out to those around me--I show love and recieve love.

My reaction to these events led to the attacks on my soul, then my mind, and finally on my body.  As 20-somethings, our bodies are not the major hurdle.  We are healthy still.  I think that our mind and soul is what we need to protect and nurture. If we take care of our sold, our mind will be convinced, and our body will follow.