A little off track

 So i was doing so good the last 2 weeks. Last friday i was down 5.9 pounds, but today and yesterday i'm only down 3.9. It's ok though. This last weekend was kind of hectic, i traded in my hummer for a new nissan altima coupe on friday and we had a chili feed on saturday so we had to clean all day and then eat chilli and desserts all night...shoot. haha. 

i didn't work out last week at all either, i need to start doing that, it's not like i'm doing anything else at night except playing with my puppy and watching tv until i go to bed. i need to get back on track this week starting after breakfast....i just had 2 little 2" lemon bars, 2 cups of frosted mini wheats and a glass of milk....i need to get back to my fruits and veggies....yay!

Gotta love weekends...

 CW: 232.4
LOST: 3.6
 

Ok, so i'm down .6 lbs over the weekend. on saturday morning i weighed in and i was down to 232.1. I'm surprised i'm not like 240 after all that i ate this weekend! My boyfriend and i went to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner on Saturday and the night before my sister made some blended drinks and appetizers. saturday night she made chicken and appetizers with this really heavy cream cheese sauce. sunday i had 3 orange rolls for breakfast, a huge bowl of ice cream for a snack, leftover chicken and cream cheese sauce a half a bowl of my mom's chicken chilli and 3 chocolate chip cookies. so i'm SUPER surprised that I'm down .6 for the weekend.

This weekend I went car shopping for my boyfriend, he needs a new car and i need to downgrade. Right now i drive an H3 hummer and lately I've been giving myself the guilt trip about saving money and saving the environment. I took home a new Nissan Altima Coupe to test drive over the weekend. Super super cute...but the gas milage isn't worth me trading in yet. I bought my hummer last September brand new and it's been getting 12-16.5 MPGs. I really wasn't thinking about how much it would cost me in gas at the time b/c i still had my parents credit card to pay for gas. But last week my mom got new cards and didn't issue me a new one...i spent $50 on gas to not even fill up my tank and it's almost gone in like 6 days. RIDICULOUS. I'm seriously thinking about getting a Toyota Prius, sure they're super ugly, but if you get tinted windows and no one can see you then who cares right? lol

IT'S ALMOST HERE....!

CW: 233
LOST: 0

The weekend is almost here and that can only mean bad things when it comes to food. I'm already starting to get into that frame of mind though where unhealthy food looks gross to me. That's what kept me going the last time i lost weight. I started making a healthy food grocery list and i found a buttload of turkey burgers in the freezer last night, looks like that's going to be dinner for the next couple of weeks.

If my boyfriend comes into town this weekend that could be bad b/c we always go out to eat and it's always super unhealthy. Maybe i'll cook something here for him. 

Yesterday i did awesome foodwise until dinner, i made ribeyes and baked potatoes for my sister and myself. i put smart choices butter and light sour cream on the potato, but i don't think it's good either way! the ribeye was healthy though from what i read on the box, only like 2 carbs? 

I didn't find time to workout thought last night, that's prob why i'm down 0 today. Here's the breakdown of what i ate yesterday:

BREAKFAST
3 Egg Whites
1 Whole egg

SNACK
1/2 Grapefruit

LUNCH
2 Slices of bread
3 Oz of turkey meat
1 Slice of cheese
1 Whole egg

SNACK
Slim fast shake

DINNER
1 Ribeye
1 Baked potato (w/ light butter and sourcream)
1 Glass of Milk

 So it was all pretty healthy, but i didn't count calories, so i'm sure i'm close to 2000 for yesterday...i'll have to pay attention today. 

2ND TIME'S A CHARM

 CW: 233
LOST: -3

I'm down 1.6 from yesterday for a total of 3 pounds down in the last 2 days. Not much of an accomplishment seeing as 233 range is what i've been at for the last 4 or so months. I've only been 235 for the last week or so. I've been around 233 since i think september, i started to KIND OF watch what i was eating and i managed to keep my weight stable for those last few months. Before that i was gaining about 6 LBs every month and i knew that had to stop!

Yesterday food wise i did good, around 1300 calories, but still more carbs than i want, i'm at about 132 on the carbs....too much. Why does fruit have to have so many carbs?!?! It's the one food group i could just eat all day long...not a fan of veggies. I forced down a cup of carrots yesterday afternoon as a snack and it about killed me....yuck! haha.

I did about 15 minutes of weights and sit-ups yesterday and a 9:30 minute half mile on the treadmill walking. i just really wasn't in the mood for the treadmill.

I want to join the YMCA that's about a mile away from my house, but it's like $60 a month, my work would pay for 75% of the monthly fee, but i have a treadmill, weights, big ab machine, yoga balls and taebo dvds at home, why would i waste the money on a gym when i can do it all at home w/out anyone watching my tubby butt jiggle around?!! lol Anyways, i have to go play with my puppy before i go to work. 

Tonight i am making stars to hang on my fridge for every 5 pounds i lose. VISUAL REMINDERS!

IT'S A START

CW: 234.6
LOST: -1.4

Ok, so I am down 1.4 pounds today, it's a start I guess. I did really good yesterday foodwise, maybe ate a little too many carbs, but stayed under 1100 Calories. I've totaled up everything that i ate and printed out a sheet so that I can adjust my food plan to how i need it. I'm planning on at least 1400 Cal/day to start out. it seems like 2 years ago, when i was losing the weight, i was only on 1,000 a day, but that doesn't seem like much.

I worked out last night too, One 18 minute Mile on the treadmill which is much better from the half a mile that i walked last week, i could hardly do that! i am so out of shape. Last time i was on the treadmill for a hour every time and running some of that. I'll get back to that. It's so hard trying to find time to work out now, I have a 3 month old english bulldog puppy that craves my attention 24/7, i can only work out when she's sleepy or she'll bark in her kennel the whole time. She's a handful that's for sure.

Here's a photo of the little tank:

So today's off to a good start, for breakfast I've had one whole egg and 2 egg whites. I have half a grapefruit i'm bringing to work. Hopefully i don't screw up today :) i could easily be below 230 by the end of the week if i stick to this.

HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?

 OK, I'VE BOUGHT A 6-MONTH GOLD MEMBERSHIP TO THIS SITE THAT MEANS I HAVE TO USE IT THIS TIME!

Almost exactly TWO years ago on I think March 19, 2006, I started to seriously lose weight for the first time in my life, from March until around August of that year, i ended up losing 52 pounds....going from 220 to 168. I was on phentermine for the majority of the time, but then I couldn't find anywhere to buy it anymore, so I stopped using it and gained the weight back. 

Now, 2 years later, i am 16 pounds heavier than what I started out at back then. I am currently 236 pounds and am not happy with who i am anymore and especially not happy w/ how i look. I am a size 20 jean which are getting kind of tight.

It's time for me to start over again with losing weight. This time i am serious about it. I'm sick of staying in every weekend just b/c i know no one wants to look or talk to the fat girl. B/c i'm so overweight, i've started to let my looks go downhill a little and hardly make an effort at looking nice anymore.

My first goal is to lose 16 pounds by March 17, that's 33 days away, i know that i can do it. My boyfriend and my 5 year anniversary is on August 24 of this year, i think it would be great to be back down to 170 by then. I want to get engaged, i want to start a business, i want to be happy and i can't do that when i'm this fat. 

TODAY IS THE BEGINNING. I WILL LOSE THE WEIGHT THIS TIME. BABY STEPS.

brain fucked

down to 201.5. so that's 6.5 pounds since last monday i guess.
these drugs are freaking awesome, i don't want to eat anymore, it may be either that or all of the drama that's been happening in my life in the last few days.

i broke up w/ my bf of 3.5 years over the weekend...but we're back together now and going to try to work things out, but all weekend, i just couldn't eat, i drank a lot. i had a banana one day, a bowl of chili the next and only had dinner on the next day, so you would think i would have lost like 5 pounds over the weekend...NOPE....ZERO...didn't lose a damn thing. and then yesterday i actually scarfed down a good amount at night and ate healthy during the day and i lose ONE whole pound. GO FIGURE! i guess you do have to eat to lose weight though.

i really don't think i'm going to the gym this week at all, my art show's coming up and i have to go into school to work on things 2 nights and have a meeting the next night, oh well though, i'll just keep up with the drugs and watch what i eat and i won't have to worry about working out yet. that way when i do start working out, the weight should continue to come off. i'm just hoping to be down at least another 8 pounds by next friday (the 23rd)....

i got 7 hours of sleep total over my 4-day weekend, my brain is so fucking messed up. i need to stop thinking about anything.

2x2x2x2x

Down 2 more pounds today for a total of 5.5 down in the last 3 days.
i didn't screw up even one time yesterday, i was so proud of myself. i couldn't get to sleep though cuz my tummy was so empty by the time i went to bed.
my phentramine came yesterday, it came with a free sample of adaprex which i'm excited about cuz free stuff is always good stuff!
i'm going to try and keep busy today and keep my mind off the food, should be too hard, bc i have a lot to get done.

A first for me in a long time...

Down 2 more pounds today to 204.5. So that's 3.5 pounds in the last 2 days...not a bad start!

I'm not sure how i lost 2 pounds yesterday though! Although I DID GO TO THE GYM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ALMOST A YEAR!!!! I ended up drinking a bottle and a half of wine until about 11:30 last night and then got cravings for oreos and had about 10 of those...so I really wasn't thinking that I was going to have any loss today! I'm not complaining.

but yes....i DID go to the gym yesterday. I haven't gone since i swear..last may, i've going walking outside a few times since then, but that's it. It was more of a workout actually getting to and from the gym than it was inside the gym! I had to park far away and then didn't know which door to go in, so i had to walk though the factory (our gym is above our manufacturing dept) and then up 6 flights of stairs! whew....those stairs were not fun walking back down when my legs were all wobbly from the treadmill, it was dangerous! haha.

but i ended up running 1/4 mile and powerwalking the rest of the mile and then at the end of my workout at the gym i powerran .15mi. Then i did 1 mile on the bike in 4 minutes and did weights and all that business. But right at the end of my workout (i was all by myself b4 this...) 6 guys came in on their break to work out and i felt really intimidated and bolted.....it's not fun being the only girl in that situation.

My phentramine should be here today, I stopped taking phenTERmine last sept and that's what helped me lose the 50 lbs b4. once i got off of it, i couldn't stop eating ever since then. But now you have to pretty much either pay a million dollars to get phentermine on the internet or have a prescription. So i'm going to try phenTRAmine for a while and see how that works out. I'm going to try and get to the gym today, I have a lot of things to get done today though so we'll see what happens.

It's a start...

Down 1.5 today to 206.5...hey, it's a start i guess...

I did pretty good yesterday food-wise...

Breakfast:
2 Egg Whites
1 Whole Egg
One light yogurt cup

Lunch:
Slimfast

Snack:
Banana

Dinner:
Turkey sandwich
5 dbl stuff oreos

Snack:
Protein bar

I probably shouldn't have had the oreos or the protein bar, but at least my meals were healthy all day instead of sugar cereal and pizza for breakfast and pizza for dinner and a bag of popcorn and 10 oreos like i have been having lately! ahhh. i cannot believe i've had such uncontrollable eating habits like that. no wonder i got this weight piled back on so fast!

i haven't gotten to the gym yet. we have a diff new gym at work, which takes 15 minutes to walk to from my area which is ridiculous. i have to drive there though b/c otherwise i have to walk through manufacturing and those guys are creepers for sure! ewwww....it scares me to walk through there. i might try to go tonight, but i don't know. My goal for today though is: NO CHOCOLATE! haha....