04/21/2008 14:38
Off the Bench
Three weeks after delivering my special package, it’s time to assess the damages—to my body, that is.
The weight issue is daunting. At my first doctor’s appointment, I had only lost 10 pounds since she was born, and she weighed 8 lb. 10 oz.! Now, here I sit only 19 pounds down, and I have a feeling that’s where the fluid-shed will end. That leaves me with appx. 35 pounds to lose to get back to where I was before I got pregnant. Sheesh.
My physical condition has nowhere to go but up. With my activity restricted for most of my pregnancy, every muscle I have is at its lowest strength. The only positive thing I can report is that my c-section is healing fairly well and I can now lift myself from lying in bed to sitting with my abs—something I haven’t been able to do for months now. Hey, I can actually get in and out of the bathtub without assistance! (this is what passes for excitement for me right now . . .)
I went for my first walk Saturday morning and made it all of two blocks before getting tired and turning around. It took me 20 minutes to walk what would have taken me about 5. Not deterred, however, I let my stir-craziness get the best of me and suggested a family outing to the state park later that afternoon. We packed up the baby for her first trip out and found a paved trail so we could stroll. Unfortunately, I didn’t make it very far and it was a brief trip. Then, I woke up Sunday morning, and I was actually sore (!). My leg muscles were screaming at me, “Hey, what happened to that life of leisure?”
I tried some light gardening Sunday, but my back wasn’t having it. The flats of flowers are still sitting on the porch. I just have to adjust to the fact that I can’t do what I want, and everything has to happen in stages.
One of the first stages I have to address is the mental shift regarding food. I’ve got to get back into the healthy eating mode. Right now, I’m in the “Eat Whatever Someone Puts In Front of Me” mode. Now that life is getting more back to (the new) “normal,” I have to put the take-out and the Stouffer’s entrees back on the shelf. Yesterday at the grocery store, I put back several sweets with the admonition to myself that I am no longer pregnant and do not have cravings as an excuse. I did buy some chocolate pudding, however, so the battle is not won. I did buy whole grain bread. Hey, people . . . baby steps.
There are a lot more bad eating habits I have to break, and as soon as I have the time to cook again and can go to the grocery store by myself, I will be rejoining the Ultrametabolism plan. I’m actually looking forward to it. I haven’t forgotten what it feels like to eat clean and exercise. It’s been soooo long since I felt good.
When I was walking Saturday and shuffling down the dogwood-lined street, I said to myself, “Less than a year ago, you were running down this sidewalk. You’ve got to get back to that feeling of triumph again.” I feel confident. I did it once, and I know I can do it again. There are definitely more obstacles this time (baby!), but I don’t really feel like I have a choice. This jiggle deflated balloon on my belly makes me sick, and I cannot live a life where every glance in the mirror makes me ill.
So, stay tuned, and I’ll be showing up here more and more in the coming weeks as I dig my way out of this hole.
