Tomorrow is my 39th birthday, but we celebrated yesterday because DH has a trial starting tomorrow and I have to go back to work (BOO!) We went out to dinner at my fave sushi place, Sakura.
Since I can't eat raw fish when pregnant, I was forced to break away from my fave dishes and try something new. The only down(?)side of this is that the items with cooked ingredients tend to be deep fried, like tempura shrimp. So, I ate dumplings, seaweed salad, and a roll made of tempura shrimp, asparagus, avocado and mango. It was heavenly.
I also got a lovely gift from DH, a peridot (my birthstone) insert for my Charlotte ring system. If you have never heard of this German jewelry company, check out this online brochure. It's lovely and unique.
I went to my first prenatal yoga class yesterday and had mixed feelings about the experience. On the "up" side, it was so nice to be in an environment where I can admit that I'm pregnant and not have to skirt around why I feel like a giant pile of poo.
On the down side, my performance level has fallen about as low as it goes. Even though the class was far from strenuous, I had a serious problem with my muscles shaking. Even in Down Dog, my legs were quivering and I didn't feel like I could hold the position. WTF?! If I didn't already know I was pregnant, I would take myself off to the doctor to try to find out why I have the strength on a octagenarian. Basically, I have a parasite that's sucking the life force right out of me.
The instructor, Olivia, assures me this kind of weakness can happen in the first trimester. That's a little reassuring, but it doesn't make me any happier about it. I just realized that having a real exercise routine is pretty much out of the question for now. She says I will get my strength back the second trimester, but that's six weeks away. I can lose a world of muscle tone in six weeks.
The hardest thing to adjust to is the lack of control over my own body. There's simply nothing I can do about this. The thought of taking my newly enfeebled frame to work this week is frightening to say the least. I don't know how I'm going to survive the first weeks of school--a difficult time even when I'm at my best.
When I told Olivia my frustration over the lack of control, she said that's why we have nine months to prepare for motherhood. We need that time to adjust to the concept of the loss of control that will be the state of our lives for decades to come after the baby is born.
I came home and just flopped down in the bed all teary eyed (my new favorite mode of being). I asked my husband, "When do I get to be happy about this?" I find myself just repeating this mantra: "This is what you wanted. You have been successful in your goals. This IS what you wanted." I also try to remember that I am hardly the first woman ever to be pregnant, and I could have a job out plowing fields or something.
Women make do, even when they're single or financially challenged. I just wish my hormones could give me a break so that I could regain a positive attitude and see things in a more optimistic frame of mind.
thanks for sharing. Yes....Happy Birthday! Hormones...ahhhh. I remember being pregnant....I was not fun to be around. I wish you happiness and strength with this pregnancy. When your baby is born, you will be so happy to hold and care for him/her. Keep in mind that it does get better. Try to focus on the positives! ~Kimby~
Posted By:
08/05/2007 22:46
HBD!
That's how we say Happy Birthday around my house. I know it sounds like platitudes but the hormone swings and the tearyness will eventually be gone and you'll feel so much better. For now, just be proud of yourself that you are not using this as an excuse to slack off. You're still committed to remaining healthy and fit - give yourself some credit! You're doing wonderful!
Posted By:
08/07/2007 17:22
Happy birthday!
Belated, I know. I hope for your sake that your strength returns sooner than expected, and that the first few weeks of school bring you enthusiastic and capable new colleagues who can take some pressure off, or at least not add to it.
I can't even begin to imagine all the stuff that's crowding your head right now, but if it's at all possible take 5 minutes to breathe and just notice that you're still alive after work today.
I'm late, I know. I've been MIA for a while. It's never consolation to know that it will get better in a few weeks, but it will. It's not your fault that you feel the way you do. AND it's okay. That's something you need to know. It's OKAY! You're normal. I hope things get better for you. I'm thinking about you.
Happy Birthday, I know I am late but I just wanted to send my birthday wishes your way. You are going to have a great year with your pregnancy... and your baby on the way. YAY!
you're gonna be the cutest preggy girl midtown ever did see! happy belated birthday!
i'm going through clothes these days. i might have a few somethings or nothings for ya. i've got a coupla things that make me look.... well.... pregnant, and i just cannot have that because i am not pregnant! but you are, so they will look oh so cute on you!
hope hubby's trial ended in his favor. i just finished his deposition from the other week. he's a great, laid-back question asker!
I am thrilled for you!!! And every feeling and emotion you are describing, I am shaking my head yes to them. I had every single one too. The feeling like a whale, even in the beginning. The questioning of "Oh my God, what have I done?!". And the problem of your body not doing what it can usually do easily. It's hard. But at the end of it, you have a beautiful little miracle to hold. And it will be all well worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! I've been off the blog for a while so I didn't know about the baby news! Congrats! I'm SOOOOO Happy for you! I see you haven't posted since August, so I hope all is well with you and your hormones are being a little kinder to you! Keep us posted! We all want updates!
I'm really sorry. I thought for sure I'd wished you a happy birthday, but in scrolling through these comments I did not :( I hope you had a great birthday. I hope everything is going well for you.
