Hi, Everyone! I've been out of town of a family tour across the state of Mississippi, visiting assorted family members. I've been a week at my grandmother's house where there is no internet.
However, even if I did have internet access, I probably wouldn't have posted anyway. I have been so stressed out about my rapidly climbing weight that I just needed a vacation from all that. I'm back for a few days, then I have to go to a broadcast journalism workshop with some of my students.
Before I left, I had a teary breakdown after spending a day shopping for work clothes. First I discovered that I'm back up to a tight 14, even though I've only gained back 10 pounds, and a lot of that is muscle. When I weighed this before, back in November, I wore a loose 12.
Apparently I gained back all 10 pounds directly in my midsection, mostly between the waist and the bust. That is NOT where those pounds came from! I look like a barrel on sticks and everything I tried on was horribly unflattering no matter if it was the correct size or not. Then when I got home, I went to pull on my fave comfy pants and found that I couldn't button them. They had fit fine five days before!
I just freaked out and started to wonder if there is really something wrong with me. Who gains weight like this?! I'm gaining an average of two pounds a week, which is highly abnormal. That would mean I was eating 7000 extra calories a week! Not possible. But, yet, it's happening. My expanding midsection proves that it's not all a muscle gain.
I have started to wonder if going off the Topamax is contributing to this problem. I know some people take it for weight loss. Maybe, going off of it got my metabolism out of whack. I have no idea. What's so frightening to me is that I'm putting on this weight right before a planned pregnancy. I really have no hope of getting it off before then.
I"ve been doing some yoga at home and trying to run outside, but the temperature and ozone make it very uncomfortable. Plus, my back injury is really acting up. All this has really caused some anxiety. I've been responding to it by reading a lot just to get my mind off it. I polished off the new Harry Potter book in a couple of days.
So that's the latest with me. Sorry I don't have any better news to report. I hope to find some time to catch up on your blogs in the next couple of days.
Posted By: ashleyb
Comments to this post:
07/25/2007 21:05
Doctor
Have you considered getting checked out to make sure there's nothing wrong? Just a thought.
As far as HP, don't tell me. I haven't even bought the book yet. I have a little bit left of another book that I'm reading. I wanted to finish that first. I know I'm going to be so depressed when I read HP. And I don't need anymore help with depression right now. The one year anniversary of my dad's death is in less than 2 weeks and I am feeling it!
I hope that things get better for you. I don't want anything to be wrong with the one EP member that I might actually get to meet. :-)
I was at the gym tonight lamenting with someone in the changeroom about how we work so hard both with our food and at the gym to get those measly pounds off week after week, but how quickly they creep back on. It's frightening really, and completely disheartening, and a very cruel joke. Don't worry too much about checking up on us, sometimes that's the hardest thing to do. Some people get motivated by seeing others success, I find it often will only bring me down more, especially when I work my tail off with no tangible positive results. I'm sure stressing isn't helping you much any either.
The worst part about all of this is it could really be anything - medical, changes to your activity level (as you endured most painfully last summer), stress, water retention, the list goes on.
Take some time and be good to you. You deserve it.
PCOS is the exception to every rule about how to lose weight. your body hangs onto fat and does not utilize calories efficiently. using a calculator that is meant for the average person to determine the amount of calories and types of foods to eat is not reccomended for someone with your condition. i know this because i have PCOS and have read every book on it and am now studying for my ACSM cPT exam and i know exactly what to do to lose weight and i am very disciplined, but my body does not cooperate. stop stessing about the weight, that just causes more problems.
being on the pill puts your body in a sort of remission and coming off of it makes your body do what it would have done otherwise. try to take everything in stride, do what your body will allow (as pain free as possible) and eat well. everything will fall into place (slowly but surly). PCOS is nothing if not a practice in patience.
ma
we are on the same page... shopping has been a nightmare for me lately and has left me a weepy mess. yet, i still can't get a hold on things. i now see the difficulty in living with someone else when it comes to dieting. when by myself, I can usually rein in but having someone elses hurt feelings in the mix is really tough and he tends to cook because he loves me. he did agree to go to weight watchers with me when he gets back, though. we're just on a really bad downward spiral and i've got to find what makes him want to try. anyhow, don't be down about your weight. you're beautiful and healthy and when you do the right things, the weight HAS to follow. right? i'm told it's simple mathematics. i never found math so simple :(
I'm in the same boat. I'm frustrated, worried, tired of it all, and feel like I'm losing this battle. I don't know if it's the amount of time I've been doing it, and I kind of thought I'd "get" by now or what. Whatever it is, it's not working anymore and I'm at a loss. All my clothes are too tight and I'm supposed to be going on vacation in a couple weeks and going to the outlet stores to by school clothes for the kids and me...and I don't want to go now because I don't think I could comfortably fit into a 12 now because the 12's I have not are getting tight and I'm won't wear clothes that are tight and uncomfortable and I refuse to buy 14's.
I wish I had some major words of wisdom and knew how to make it go back to how it was, but I don't know how. I feel like I'm starting over again.
I was beginning to worry about you since we hadn't heard from you in a while, but it's not worth coming here if it just frustrates you more. I am tempted to chalk up the gains to your change in medication and PCOS generally, but I know that's cold comfort when it means there's little you can do about it.
I will be thinking of you and praying that things turn around--keep safe and do whatever you need to feel better, including diving into a stack of books and escaping it all for a little while. Just remember that light exercise and healthy foods will make you feel better even when the weight loss battle has taken a bad turn.
No solutions, no suggestions, just glad to see you back.
I mean, if blogging here depresses you, by all means take a break, but I just don't want to see you give up entirely and have one of us find you at the bottom of an empty KFC box.
