As you can see from my weight graph, I'm still going up. Every day is an up and down experience, but the overall trend is upward. I am truly praying that all that gain is due to my increasingly buff muscles.
Yesterday was the last day of my four-week training series at the gym. I am totally impressed with the improvement of my muscle tone. I wanted to get back to where I was in January, but I believe I'm now back in some ways to where I was before my injury in September.
My arms are AWESOME. My biceps and triceps are popping out like they never have before. My legs are not popping yet, but I can feel the increased heft of the muscles when I put my hand on my legs. The trainers really didn't focus in on our legs in the weights very often. They really focused on the chest and back, which they said were key muscles to good posture and overall health that are often ignored by novice weight trainers--especially women, who don't feel a need to bulk up their pecs the way men do. We also worked abs a fair amount, and I really need to continue that when someone's not making me.
I'm thinking of adopting Tawa Chihuahua's plan of doing ab work during commercials--she does push ups, which I'm not able to do with my injury. The obstacle to this will, of course, be keeping the dogs from licking my face while I do this.
Running is going well. The first week, I tried to up my time a little, but my knees were not happy about this new form of exercise. This week, however, they seem to be complying. I just need to not push it too hard. Yesterday, I spent 30 minutes on the treadmill, and did two five-minute runs--the first at 4.3 mph, then the second at 5 mph. I really wanted to do another stint at 6 mph, because I could feel myself really "opening up", but knew I have to be careful. My previous longest run was only 3 minutes.
Holding back to prevent injury is something I'm really concentrating on. Every time that we do back and shoulder weights, my injury flares up for two days. It seems to be unavoidable and something I'm just going to have to live with. However, knowing that is going to happen, I just have to remember not to push to higher weights just because I can. The same goes for running. I'm sure the impact of the running can't be doing anything good for my injury, so I need to increase my times slowly.
It's hard, though, when I'm in the zone. I just want to keep going. But like a child who's had her hand burned on the hot stove one too many times, I know better.
I was lying in bed last night babbling to my half-asleep hubby, and I am wont to do, and I was suddenly struck with how impressive it is that I ran 10 minutes--impressive for me, anyhow. Of all the weight-loss goals I had, running was something it never occured to me I could do. It wasn't even on my "to do" list. I was suddenly overcome with how proud I am of what I've accomplished with my body, even though I'm gaining right now. I have well exceeded my fitness goals, even if I have not yet attained my weight-loss goals.
I flashed back to a softball game I played in about 10 years ago. I had a healing knee injury, so I had not exercised in probably a year other than riding my bike to work. I hit the ball and took off for first base, but halfway there I found myself eating dirt. My knee had just given out. I couldn't even run from home to first. So pitiful. I remember thinking then that I would never be able to play sports again--that that injury was going to hold me back for the rest of my life. I had no idea what a concentrated exercise plan of yoga and weight training could do. I wish I hadn't waited so long to start healing myself.
This weepy feeling was also preciptated by a little purple line on a stick that told me that I was ovulating--right on schedule. As you long-time readers of my blog know, I started this journey to try to heal my fertility problems with a healthy lifestyle. That little purple line told me that I have done that, even if I do have 25 more pounds to lose. I have done what I set out to do--and then some.
I realized I really need to cut myself some slack. Yes, I'm still fat, but at least everything's working. As long as I keep exercising, I'll be all right, even if I never make it to a single digit pants size.
Posted By: ashleyb
Comments to this post:
07/13/2007 12:21
Gain
I'm sure it is just from the buffness you're building. And congrats on the ovulating! YAY!
Ashley, I'm so glad you are seeing all the other benefits to your efforts, and the running is phenomenal! But I have to disagree with you saying you are still fat. You still have fat, sure, but not that much of it. And you are not defined by fat, or limited by it, in the ways you were before. All the barriers that the weight either put in place or cemented are lifting. So you are not fat. You don't look fat. You look like a healthy person who could lose some weight without becoming unhealthily thin, but that is not the same at all.
Since you are happily upping your running time but need to not push yourself, I really recommend you try out Couch to 5k or at least look at it as an idea of how fast a relatively healthy non-runner can ramp up to running 30 minutes at a time.
I feel SO much better now that we're mostly settled into the house! Believe it or not, the kitchen is smaller than our old place, or at least has fewer cabinets, but that's not a huge deal and it's still plenty big. And I've been using the move as an excuse not to do too many lunches out--saying I need to get home early to help DH unpack, etc. which is true.
I'll pass on any real gems I hear at WW--I need the external accountability of weighing in there, but I think that if we all post at least once a week about something really weight loss related that's as good as WW, really. It's not like you need advice on nutrition!
Concentrate on all those other awesome rewards, and the scale will either move down or become unimportant. Either way is good.
My push-ups during commercials plan died out a long time ago! Maybe I should resurrect it. I do a lot of ab work during commercials, though. I like the way my abs feel when they're really burning. It's a concentrated feeling, unlike push-ups, which get my heart rate way up and make me start to sweat.
Your tips on backbend are helpful, but I think I am going to leave that pose for now. I will continue to do bridge pose during the upward bow and stop telling myself I'm cheating. I can now do camel without having my heels up.
I want to improve my forward bend. I'm going to stop trying to get my nose to my knees and concentrate more on keeping my spine dead straight and hinging from the hips. Is that right?
Glad you're coming to your senses about your health gains, and congrats on the ovulation! Woohoo!
muscle weighs more than fat..so you go girl. I have heard that sometimes you do gain from the muscle. Proud of you for accomplishing your goals! Have a great weekend!
Welcome to the world of running. I promise after about 6 months you'll be addicted :P.
I was thinking about what kind of advice to give you and I'm not really great on giving advice. Don't do too much too fast. You sound like you're increasing your speed... do you have an end goal in mind like a 5k or a 10k. You should sign up for one just to give you something to work for. Oh and just because you're running don't 'reward' yourself with ice cream after...haha. Thats what my problem is!
What I meant when I said I was not ready for yoga classes is that I'm just not ready for any type of classes. I have a serious and deep-set aversion to anything remotely like a gym or public exercise. The thought of a teacher and other students scrutinizing or even being in the same room when I'm exercising is too much for me. I think it probably all started with PE class back in school and went down hill from there.
I will make it one of my goals to someday overcome this fear and go to a yoga class.
Whether or not you lose those last 25 lbs you have so much to be proud of yourself for!! When I joined this site I read your entire blog from beginning to end and it is amazing how far you've come. You have achieved so many of your goals that you deserve for people to tell you, every day, just how awesome you are!! So congratulations!! Don't let your gain (which I think is muscle) bug you. You are amazing!!
Posted By:
07/16/2007 14:55
yay!
That purple line is a good sign! Good for you! You've come a long way.
I know what you mean about the dogs licking your face! I can't do sit ups with my dogs in the room!!!
thru the pictures to find some updates. You and dh are too cute! But just keep doing what your doing. Once your body adjusts to your activity level I'm sure you will start tot go down again, if that's what you want them to do.
In quiring minds and all that. I hope you're doing well and that you are still appreciating all the accomplishments you listed in this post.
BTW my new house has a yoga/guest room that I set up this weekend--I am putting my foot down that it is for reading, meditating, and yoga only--no random crap and everything must be movable to blow up the queen-size aerobed when we have friends visit.
