OK, so I really need to start tracking my food again. I tried doing it yesterday on SparkPeople, which was OK--a lot faster than the EP food log. However, I'm still stymied with my recipes. I prepare a lot of multi-ingredient dishes, and I can't figure out how to enter those. That's why I bought that DietPower software in the first place--so I could enter in recipes.
I still can't believe I spent so much time and effort--hour upon hour--entering in all those dishes only to have it all crash and burn. I know I could restore the software, but after two significant crashes, I no longer trust it. I refuse to re-enter all those recipes only to lose them again. I downloaded a trial of another program, called Kathleen's Diet Planner, but it is WAY over the top and complicated. I just don't need all that info.
I really don't think it's a coincidence anymore that I started plateauing at the same time I stopped tracking my food. Of course this coincided with my doctor ordering me to stop exercising.
I'm not tracking. I'm not exercising. My pants are too tight. My whole plan is in the ditch.
I really feel somewhat lost despite all my dieting experience and success. I've never had these obstacles before. Last year at this time, I was doing yoga nearly every day and eating Jenny Craig. Later, I was eating my own food, but tracking it religiously--even after I had to cut back on exercise. Now, I'm still eating healthy 90 percent of the time, but I feel I have no direction, no forward motion.
I know what this is. This is that crucial moment that all people reach when they can either stay strong or backslide completely. My mindset is tainted with discouragement. I've been buying clothes this week for my vacation and every pair of pants I try on in size 12 is too tight in the belly. All my pants I bought a few months ago in size 10 are painfully tight. I don't get it! I've only gained two pounds! Are those two pounds right under my waistband? It just makes me sick at heart.
I know I need to lose about five pounds before I go on vacation in a month so that my outdoor clothes will be comfortable, but that just seems like an impossible dream. When did losing five pounds become something I just couldn't do?
I remember thinking last year when I was having so much success that it wouldn't be possible without certain aspects of support: time and money and state of mind. Right now, my job is really eating me alive and my time and state of mind are just in the crapper. Money's not too hot, either. I come home from work in tears at least two days out of five. This is just not the proper frame of mind for self-improvement. In the past, I would exercise my way through the stress, but that's still not an option for me.
I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record. It's just that since November, nothing has really gone my way and I have nothing positive to blog about. In fact, if I so chose, I could fill this blog with one depressing tale of woe after another, but I really try not to talk about problems that are not weight related (even though everything in our lives affects our weight).
I know you readers out there can't really help me, but it's nice just to know someone's listening.
Posted By: ashleyb
Comments to this post:
05/04/2007 12:16
It could be....
It could be that you're losing some of your muscle mass. Because you're right, 2 pounds shouldn't make such a big difference. I'm sorry you are going through all that you are and that you're having a hard time with this journey. I'm sending hugs and skinny vibes your way. I'll be thinking about you.
Could it be water retention or bloating? Two pounds really shouldn't make that big of a difference. I'm sorry that you are discouraged, but you look amazing!
We are all here for you with a lending shoulder. I do hope things start to get better for you. Something will settle, it may just take some time to figure out what that method is. Since you have had problems with the other sites and what not I know this sounds a little like a problem but have you tried writing down what you eat. Before I used to make copies on WORD and print them out and clip it somewhere I would remember to log everything down and that is how I would keep track. Im not sure, I do hope you can figure something out.
I believe we share identical frustrations. Thanks for dropping by my blog and it sucks when the blog doesn't work.It has happened to me a few times and it's quite annoying especially when you've written up a storm only to have it disappear in a blink.
Anyway my weight loss is ultra slow too.I'm clocking in almost 90 to 100 minutes of exercise daily.Talk about commitment! I used to think it was insane to do so much exercise. The thing is I have learned to enjoy exercise and I do look forward to it. BUT I also would like to be rewarded for my efforts you know. I'm trying so hard but the fats just won't bulge.
And the food log thing...I used fitday.com but it doesn't have most of the stuff I eat. It was such a pain that I gave up.It's like if you wanted to enter triple cheeseburger with bacon they have like 50 options but if you enter quinoa the program draws a blank. It's a lot like common eateries isn't it? It's always so much easier to find foods wrapped with bacon than a grilled miso tempeh.
At this point I don't even know what I'm doing wrong anymore.I can't read anymore literature about nutrition cause I already know it. I can't up anymore exercise cause I do have a life.
It's just frustrating. The worst part is, ppl in our daily lives can't begin to relate what we're going through.It sucks that I'm more susceptible to affluent diseases when I live healthier than most ppl my age.
Oh Ashley all I can give you is a good hug and sigh.
Posted By:
05/05/2007 14:50
what about...
Did you ever get into doing the exchanges taught by Jenny Craig? You know, the ones by the American Diabetic Association? Perhaps you could count exchanges on some days. That could help maybe see things differently.
i'm having verrrrry similar problems right now with my waistband, and i'm still sick so i just haven't got the energy to work it off :( it's depressing me quite a bit. rick is still gone and i think i'm getting lonely and hungry. bad combo. my "big" jeans are dangerously close to being my tight jeans.
and listening but it seems you need some more support in person. Look around and see who is there ready to support you through this phase. I understand perfectly when you say you are at the point where either you painfully stick to it and reap the rewards later or you just let it go and backslide. Do the right decision as difficult as it might be.
If it's any consolation, which I highly doubt it is, but bear with me...While the work situation now is very stressful for you, your term is almost done and that is one big roadblock removed for you. I have no doubt this is really hard and really stressful for you, just keep working towards the light!
