I was reading in Steph's blog about how she and her DH had to have a "Come to Jesus" meeting about bringing "bad" food into the house or buying it as "gifts" for her. It seems that a lot of us have been blogging about this topic lately. The question is this: Why do our normally supportive spouses sabotage us in this way after we've come so far?
I have a few thoughts:
First, on a positive note, they are proud of us and seem to think we deserve food as a reward for all we've accomplished. We may have gotten past that concept, but they haven't even begun to struggle with it.
On another positive note, they think since we have already lost a lot of weight, we can have more treats now. They don't understand how we will gain all the weight back in a hearbeat if the "treats" are on the kitchen counter every damn day.
Second, they have been putting up with our dieting for months and are sick to death of the impact it has been having on their own lives. They are starting to rebel in a passive/agressive way.
I know in my household, my DH and I have had ridiculous arguments about his inability to hide cookies thoroughly enough. If I can see them, I will eat them. Actually, if I know they are in the house, I will find them, see them, then eat them. I don't even want to know they are here. I have will power with a lot of things, but not all things, so it's best to remove temptation. The same goes for ice cream.
I've noticed lately that he has stopped trying to hide these items like he used to, and I have been eating them. Which came first? Did I start eating them in front of him, giving him the idea that he didn't need to hide them anymore? Or did I eat them because he didn't hide them? I'm not sure. All I know is that it has to stop. Cookies and ice cream cannot become something I eat several times a week!
I know that dealing with a non-dieting husband has been a problem for dieting women since time began. It's especially difficult when kids are involved and the mom is trying to feed them healthy as well. That leaves Dad out entirely, eating his frozen pizza alone in front of the TV.
How can we get the men on board, Ladies?
Posted By: ashleyb
Comments to this post:
04/28/2007 11:53
Make them...
buy their own food says my PT and Consultant. Its hard though.
I don't really know. If you find the answer, please let me know. LOL! It is so hard. I don't want DH to feel deprived, but yet, I can't be around that temptation. I don't know. I can make him buy his food all he wants, but our house is kinda small, and there aren't that many hiding places. One idea that I've heard is to make them go OUT to get that stuff. Like, go get an individual serving, eat it, and then come back home....EMPTY HANDED.
Anyway, good luck. I hope it works out. You can do it!
I have been reading this alot of other posts, it has made me think. Im not sure how to get them on board, hopefully soon everyone will all be on board. Sorry that wasn't alot of help! Hope you are doing well and you have a wonderful week!
The DHs I mean. The snacks . . . I like the strategy of not letting him keep the stuff in the house--going out and buying a single serving. But DHs get to feeling they're not in control of their own eating, and that makes mine very grumpy.
Could the DH use some dieting himself? I've managed to get mine on board with the deal that he will eat what I'm eating when we're together, and will likely lose weight as a side effect of my dieting. He can eat what he wants when I'm not around. Interestingly, unlike those who say their hubbies drop weight crazy fast when they diet, DH either doesn't have the magic man-gene that makes you lose weight when your wife diets, or is eating a lot of calories when I'm not around.
He has a shelf for his snacks. He is very territorial about them, so he gets mad if I eat his junk food. I don't know what to say about cookies and ice cream--when DH has them, I eat them, and suffer the wrath. So I'm glad he's more into chips.
Umm, so I guess recruit him into self-interested participation, if his patience for doing this for you is wearing thin. My DH is bigger on his commitment to my diet than to his, but the combination is better than either alone.
We had a big chuckle the other day. I bought my husband some "junk food." He cracked when he called to my attention that I unconsiously bought all low-fat versions of his favorite junk food. I think I have permanently brain washed and I am so glad! haha
lol...my overweight self says..hmm keep the foods, get rid of the hubs!! lol..but I know thats not happening...we are all here to lose weight! Just the other day my husband said..."I will diet with you" and in the same breath says "oh can we have calzones for dinner" and to add insult to injury...he was eating reese cups while doing this!!! Lol...Although his contribution this week was taking all dinner left overs to work so I wouldnt be tempted to eat them...OH the support! lol...I think us ladies need to stick together! Keep up the good work
You know, Rick's so grateful to get a home-cooked meal that he'll eat whatever I cook, BUT he has this donut thing.... we're always looking for fresh donuts. the other night on the way home from oxford, we stopped at krispy kreme for a dozen donuts at 9:00 p.m. and even though it was his idea, i was the first to inhale them. :( I think it's just because we've both been so sick.... the donuts are easy to get down, i guess.
The only way i know to get the men on board is to cook something fabulously healthy and make it look grossly unhealthy.
I'm with ChickofEgg. My DH is the same way, in one breath he'll say he's going to do it with me, then suggests pizza for dinner in the next.
I know he sabatoges me unconsciously because of two reasons
1) He is jealous and feels if I start looking too good, guys will start paying more attention and I'll run off and leave him (that's what the last wife did) and
2) He has weight issues himself (alot heavier than me) and feels if he can't control his weight, it's not cool to see me doing it.
Doesn't make sense at all but I think it's what he thinks. Yesterday, we decided to do a healthy eating kick, lose some weight, little friendly competition who can lose 10lbs first, and we go to the store to get "healthy food". He complains when I pick out organic spinach & lettuce & tries to put 3 boxes of brownies in the cart ("For when we have people over"). Crazy.
I just know I've got to try to do this on my own, without his help, no matter the comments he makes, or what he wants to eat, or what he brings home. I've got to take control of my own life and I just haven't been able to get there. But I'm trying!!!
I'm blondeez :) I don't like how you can only start on Mondays, but the food tracker is better than this one unless the ExP log has improved dramatically since the last time I tried it. The Self log will have a big box on top for you to choose from their meal plan but it's also easy and perfectly acceptable to put in your own food. You do need to know the calorie content for foods that aren't in their database, which I have a feeling a lot of your awesome whole grain and natural foods won't be.
