My prepaid weeks at WW have come to an end, and I've decided to not go back. Our group leader is terrible, and I don't see any benefit for the money I am paying. I've lost appx. 2.5 pounds over 7 weeks, and nothing the last three and a half weeks.
I had high hopes for WW. The system was so easy, almost too easy. It had me thinking that maybe weight loss didn't have to be so hard after all. I should know by now that is not the case. Now I'm stuck trying to figure out what to do next.
Probably the most successful I have been was when I was eating 1350-1500 calories a day and tracking what I ate on a computer program. I had daily goals for protein consumption and a limit on simple/white carbs. Howevever, now that I'm a mother, I don't have time for that kind of calculating and tracking any more.
However, if I don't track what I eat, I will overeat and indulge too often. I really do forget that I had pizza for dinner last night if I don't write it down.
Does anyone have any suggestions for simple food tracking?
Weigh-in today verified my observation that I haven't lost in two weeks. The WW leader asked to see my tracker and all she could do was nit-pick that I hadn't checked off the boxes for my water. I pointed out that I don't check the boxes because I drink way more than the minimum each day, so there's no need to track. She kept on about it, implying that if I don't check the boxes than I'm being dishonest or something or that I'm simply not giving this my full effort. "Aren't you worth the time?" she asked.
I tell you. It was all I could do to not shove the woman off her chair and walk out. Doesn't she understand that it's the DRINKING of the water that matters, not the CHECKING OF THE DAMN BOXES? This is just not working for me. I wish I knew what to do. I don't want to go off my diet. I'm in a good mental place for weight loss. However, I'm not losing and I don't believe what this woman says that I need to eat ALL my flex points or I'm not going to lose weight. I am eating way more calories per day than I have ever eaten on a diet before. Eating more can't possibly be the answer. Eating something DIFFERENT has to be the solution.
Strike my enthusiasm from the last post. I think my scale was just wrong. It said 209 last Monday, then 213 Wednesday. It was TOM, so I didn't worry about it, but today, it read 210.4, which is probably correct. That means I'm still the same was I was two weeks ago. Blah.
I had a big drop this morning--almost two pounds. I can't tell you how good it feels to see some kind of progress. The weight watchers thing is OK. Though it doesn't keep me on a narrow track for healthy eating, it does limit my caloric intake and make me more aware of my choices.
Most days I don't eat any differently on WW than I normally would have, except I may eat more fresh fruit and add a side salad to lunch. I can only think of two times when it actually affected my food choices: 1.) When I was about to eat a single-serve frozen pizza and discovered that its point value was literally off the chart of my point calculator. 2.) When I ordered Mexican takeout and combed the menu for 15 minutes trying to find anything that wasn't half cheese (fish tacos).
Probably the biggest difference is that I don't eat out nearly as much because I'm preparing more food at home. It's not that I said, "I'm not going to eat out." It's just that I only do that when the cupboards are bare.
This weekend I went a little soup crazy; I made two. First, I made a mushroom soup from my Ultrametabolism cookbook, then I whipped up a cauliflower/potato/blue cheese soup that was recommended to me on my parenting message board as a way to sneak in veggies on kids. Both have extremely low point values, so are nice tummy fillers.
The drop this morning could also be due to the unbelieveable about of running around I did this weekend after my toddler. We went to Zoo Boo and had to park a mile away, then run around the zoo, then walk back. It was a real workout! I swear having a toddler is an exercise routine all on its own.
Well, I'm thinking this WW point system is not working. I really think I have too many points. I get 28 per day, and 35 extra per week! I never use them all unless I go on some dining out and/or beer drinking binge. I weighed this morning and weighed exactly the same as when I started three weeks ago!
I can tell I have too many points because I've gotten to where I don't even worry what I'm making for dinner--don't calculate my points ahead of time--because I KNOW I've got plenty, and I'm always right!
I did some rough calculations and found that if I eat all my daily points and the flex points, I would be eating, on average, 1750 calories per day. I know that in the past, I had to limit my calories to 1350 to lose weight. I know WW says I need to eat all my points, and I understand the concept that if I go too low, my metabolism will slow down. However, I'm not seeing any progress and something has to change.
As my life stands right now, I can't get in much exercise, so I think I should lower my daily points from 28 to 24. Even then, I'm only lowering my weekly calorie intake by 1400 calories. Doesn't seem like such a big deal.
Another week has rolled by and I'm at the same spot. It was fall break at school, and I spent as much time as possible just relaxing, reading, and listening to music. I didn't think about food much, and certainly didn't track what I ate. I was really at some kind of breaking point and desperately needed some down time where I didn't have to be responsible for anything or do any kind of work. I didn't even do my weekly shopping, which I'm now paying for, as I ate a freezer-burned waffle with a freezer-burned Boca sausage for breakfast this morning.
I do feel better, however, and feel more equipped to "deal," if you know what I mean. Having a baby has been a wonderful experience, but after 18 months, never having any "me" time is starting to wear. I really can't ask my husband to help me out with this because he's in the same boat. The two of us desperately need a real vacation (at least a week)--alone.
It's amusing how life changes. The other day at a cafe, I found myself glaring jealously at this woman at the next table--not because she was thin or had a great handbag. It was griping me that her mother was meeting her to pick up her toddler for a day of fun with Grandma so the daughter could have some time off. I was just sitting there stewing about the injustice of a world where a mom (me) doesn't have an extended family willing to help out in any significant way. Not fair.
I try to count my blessings and be grateful for the fact that I have an amazing child and just feel pity for her grandparents that they're missing out on experiencing her. I know I'm lucky. However, I really just wish I had a few hours a week to go the gym, you know?
I lost a pound on my first weigh-in, but wasn't super excited because it's the first week, and there's always a water drop. Even though I was on plan, I still feel like I ate too much last week. I did succeed in my one week goal of not eating out of the vending machines or in a drive-through. However, I broke that today with an Egg McMuffin for breakfast. No biggie.
My plan for my husband to keep the baby Sunday while I cook didn't work out so well. I did cook, but two of the things just didn't turn out, so I've still found myself without prepared foods all week and scrambling for dinner. I'v been especially disappointed with what I've been feeding Chandler.
Still no progress on the exercise front. Honestly, it just seems so far away. I have so little time that when I do get half an hour, I greedily use it for something I actually WANT to do. This is usually something calm and quiet, like reading, or just vegging out.
I've been looking at gyms again and would like one with a pool so I can take Chandler swimming. However, the only one I can find is downtown, and has a parking issue. I just know that I have to park far away and haul a gym bag and a toddler out in all weather, I just won't go. Those of you with toddlers will understand this.
There is a gym close to the daycare, so I could go before I pick her up, but it's small and expensive. It doesn't have much other than bikes, ellipticals and some weights. The class times aren't convenient. Blah. This is just one of those downsides to living in the heart of a city--all the new, good gyms are in the suburbs.
Anyway. That's what's going on with me. Back to work now grading really poorly written essays.
After a few days on WW, I'm finding this almost too easy. It's not hard to keep what I eat under 28 points per day. Yesterday evening, I saw that I had more points to eat, so I considered my options. I looked over what I had eaten for the day and really did not like what I saw. It didn't look like a diet. I was within my points, but I really wasn't happy with my choices. Not enough whole grains or fresh foods. So, I took the time to make a salad instead of eating a normal "snack."
I see now that with WW, a person can eat nothing but junk and not have a healthy diet, but still be "on plan." I may be cutting calories, but I'm not consuming enough of what I consider nutritious foods. I guess I just need to ease into it. First I'll work at lowering my daily consumption, then I'll slide back into eating a whole food diet as I'm able.
I definitely have a different attitude toward this than I ever have before. I don't want to spend a whole lot of time analyzing my "data" and constantly tweaking the plan. I just want to eat to live. Now that Chandler is in my life, I don't have the mental or physical energy to really throw myself into some kind of "project." I just want to plan what I eat better and make better choices. I want simplicity.
That said, I've decided to NOT use some kind of computer-based tracker this time. They're supposed to make things easier, but I find myself on them too much. I think the paper WW tracker will do just fine. Quick and easy. If I'm not sure of the points of something, I'll just estimate, and that will be OK.
I talked to my husband last night about making a semi-permanent arrangement with child care to help me with the diet. I need time on the weekend to prep for the week, so he's going to be in charge of the baby from when she wakes up from her afternoon nap until dinner time, giving me about 4 hours of time to get things done. He's also going to try to get her out of the house at this time so she doesn't keep running into the kitchen and grabbing onto my leg or sticking her hand on the burners. I really hope this works, but I'm afraid things will come up to throw this off. We'll see.
I joined Weight Watchers today. It was almost accidental.
I decided Sunday that I had reached "That Point." You know the one, where you've just had it with yourself and can't go on another minutes with the way things are. First, I decided that I would set a few moderate goals. This week's goal was to avoid all vending machines, prepare as much food as possible on Sunday, and take my lunch and snacks to work every day.
First, I weighed Sunday and was surprised that I hadn't gained any weight since my last post a couple of months ago. I attributed that to my increased activity level with the start of school. OK! Hey, maybe I can do this now, because it wasn't working before.
I had heard that they had started an on-site WW meeting at my school, so I asked someone about it, and it turned out to be meeting today, so I dropped in. I haven't done WW in, oh, 18 years or so. I've never counted points, but I figure can't be that different from any other tracking system. I just need to write things down and keep up with them some way.
I think I was inspired that my lack of vending machine and/or fast food in three days had given me a two pound drop immediately. So I decided to strike while the iron was hot, so to speak.
In my past weight loss efforts, it was the thrill of success that kept me going. Of course it didn't come often, but when I would have a dramatic drop or go down a size, it really fueled the fires of my motivation. I'm having to learn to live without the thrill.
I've lost five pounds in eight weeks, which is pretty slow. In fact, I've only lost a pound in the last three weeks. This is not out of the ordinary for me, really. A half pound a week has been a standard week for me. But those standard weeks used to be interspersed with some larger drops here and there.
I think I'm going to have to look at weight loss from a new perspective. What worked before is not working now, both physically and mentally. I think I need to adopt Tawa Chihuahua's approach of living life in a healthy way and not thinking about the scale so much. Over time, the weight will come off. However, how does a goal-oriented person like me keep motivated without those scale rewards?
There are so many little moments, little choices where I fail to make the healthy choice because I'm not thinking about the scale, because I'm not working toward that weekly reward. Clearly, I'm not doing this new approach correctly.
Something I have to keep telling myself: "Just because you're not losing quickly does not mean you should quit. It just means you have to settle in for the long haul." Why is losing weight in a year better than losing in two years? I really need to stop thinking about some "end date." We all know there isn't one, right?
I think I'm just anxious to reach that point where I feel good about myself, where I look better and don't feel so encumbered by my own body. That's not a particular number on the scale. I just wish I could get a little positive reinforcement or find some kind of internal motivation to make the rate of my progress not matter so much to me.
