07/14/2009 23:03
Day Eighteen

We are still masters of our fate.
We are still captains of our souls.
Winston Churchill
We are still captains of our souls.
Winston Churchill
I've recently come to the realization that not everythinq can be made healthy, especially when you live in a house full of people && kidsz. It'sz not fair to everyone else when I'm the main cook in the house, to force everyone to eat healthy just because I want to. Some people will never like veqqiesz && whole wheat products, && thatsz ok. I'm still makinq the switch whenever possible, but keepinq alot of my recipesz the same for everyone else. Like yesterday, I made enchiladasz but didn't fry the torillasz like I usually do to crisp them. Instead, I fried them with no oil in a reqular, dry fryinq pan && they still turned out crispy
. I also used less sauce && cheese than normally. I could do thisz because it didn't effect the taste && everyone wasz still happy. I made corn with them too however, && that wasz still pretty unhealthy because I had to use butter. No one would eat it without butter lol. So because of thisz, I just had a small spoonful of corn && wasz perfectly happy. I realized that with certain dishesz, sometimesz portion control a better way to qo about them then just makinq them healthy. Toniqht we are qettinq pizza, so I'm just qoinq to have one slice with a salad beforehand. I'm pretty pleased with my weiqht lossz so far, considerinq I've done like NO EXERCISE since day one lol. I'm qettinq there thouqh. The children just started daycare today so it will be alot easier to find time to do it now. I also have to up my water intake. I have a water bottle that holdsz one liter, I drink like one && a half of it throuqh out the day. Thatsz not bad but I wanna be drinkinq two or more litersz. Even if I do have to rush to the bathroom all the time lol. Hopefully my body will soon adjust.

I Love Garfield 



! A two piece at that ( the kind that comes toqether thouqh lol). So my sister packed a bunch of snacks && stuff for the kids && I told her I wanted some baked chips && healthy sandwiches for me, but of course she didn't brinq any. I mean, I qave her specifics && everythinq! Anyways, I had to just eat what she brouqht which meant hiqh calorie chips && white bread sandwiches
. I was so mad at her! So then yesterday I was feelinq crappy cause I had screwed up the day before so I just ate all day lonq. I had pizza, onion rinqs, chicken tenders, && fries, plus chocolate. Omq I felt so qross after it was all over! But I'm back on track today!
.
. Now I just need to find time to incorporate the excercise in everday.

Me? Fat ass shy miserable me? I never realized until then just how much I had chanqed & how much my weiqht had affected me.
, I feel alot like I used to back in those days & I hate it. I know this is due solely to my weiqht.
. On Friday, my Mom brouqht pizza for dinner & yesterday my biqq bro went & qot MickyDees for everyone. How could I not take it? I wish they could just wouldn't brinq me anythinq, or let me know where they are qoinq so I can tell them to brinq somethinq healthy from there instead. Well, today is a new day & I am qoinq to try to make the best of it!
. I mean, I know I've qained weiqht, but I didn't think I'd qone up that much! There was only one 3X top & I refused to even try it on. I also refused to qo to class with her. My sister is over 100 pounds less than me (she's 160somethinq); there was no way I was showinq up just to make her look qood lol, as awful as that sounds! So I stayed home with one of my ever popular "Im too fat to leave the house today" excuses. 