| Height: | 165.1cm |
| Start weight: | 14st 8.00lb |
| Current weight: | 11st 13.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 9st 7.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 2st 9.00lb |
| Remaining: | 2st 6.00lb |
| 9 |
| February '12 |
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ive restarted
totally fed up of what i did
lost the plot
put on 7 pounds
lets call it day 1 again
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
i miss the old me
the confidence
the willpower
the positive outlook
must stop the negative thoughts
and survive today
since friday
binge /purge
stressed
started my new job today
i lost the plot
tommorow i have to get back on my diet
must stop weighing myself 20 times a day
rather depressing
must drink more water
*hate the stuff tastes so gross*
kept myself busy today
putting up kitchen units
day flew over
enjoyed 1/2 of my veg soup
(i split packs up to give myself a treat 4 times a day lol sad i know)
ran out of bars so its ruddy soup again tonight
miss haveing something to chew at least once in the day
oooooooo i say false tan really slims your legs
*shame about the streaks though*
maybe nobody will notice them 
feeling quite positive today
ok maybe im over doing that
im slightly hungry
its always at night i get like this
looks like another early night for me
wow got through yesterday
no hitchs
no bingeing
no purgeing
weighed myself this morning
very odd one says no weight loss
move the scales to another part of floor
then it says ive lost 4 ilb 
hmmm i think i need new scales
or a new floor
hubby hasnt had no work this week *aint self employment grand*
so im now worrying how ill pay the bills and feed the kids/dogs next week
never been this bad before
guess ive been lucky in the 2 years since he went to work for himself
i guess we'll get by somehow
trying to stay positive
only good thing is my weight at moment
i can face anything when im slim
how stupid does that sound
ok had 3 days of eating and purgeing
i could have fell
into my old ways
stopped and thought i want to get slim
and get happy again
and the diet was makeing me feel so well and alive
so solo source again as from today
added some zero coke in (1 litre as i felt i needed a treat )
zero coke cant hurt can it
(well not as much as food )
weigh in friday morning
waxed my armpits tonight
ouch that friggin hurt
think ill stick to shaveing
hunted for some work
looks promiseing
offered one in a care hime on nights
(dont fancy doing 4 nights a week really)
see what else i can get
todays diet has gone pretty easy not much hunger
and lots of willpower
funny how piggin out reinforces the will to get slim
right early night for me
Grrrrrrrrrrr
avoid the late night temptation
of the fridge
a little afraid to drink water today
yesterday i was so ill i ended up in hospital and was kept in overnight
i was fine till i downed 2 litres of water in just under a hour
maybe the headache was nothing to do with the water
but boy i thought i was gunna die
being sick passing out and the worst pain in my head ive ever known
seem to be getting them more frequently as well
a little scary seeing as ive never suffered with aches n pains before now
i was forced to eat yesterday by worried family
could have cried as i bit into that pizza
from there i raided the shop and stuffed what ever i could into my mouth
ooooooo my jaw ached i havent eaten iin months
my calander now has a big red
b and p
on yesterdays date
b= binge
p=purge
yes my bulimia reared its ugly head again 
but just for the one night
today im back on my sole source cambridge diet
and all thoughts of food have been dropped from concerned family members
even though they thought they were helping
by makeing me eat
it was the road to ruin
im not to worried though only had 2 or 3 purges since i started this diet
so as they say
ill pick myself up and carry on
and not fret about my head down the toilet all yesterday
another day another pound to lose
tonight was hard
my lovely family went to tescos and got so much sweets and cakes i nearly died
i swear i slobberd worse than the dogs watching them eat it all
i kept sayin to myself it wouldnt taste that nice
if i cheated on my doit
and have 4 weeks to lose as much weight as i can before i go on a big blog meet in novemer
drinkin water
lots of it
havent drank to much over this week maybe thats why iu havent lost as much weight as i thought i would
going to bed early tonight
my heads banging
always happens when i drink lots of water ?
tried to give up smokein today
failed
will try again tommorow
; )
i only lost 2 n half pounds
did 3 days on my treadmill power walking
average 200 cals in 40 mins
so why have i only lost such a crap amount of weight
slightly fed up
and hungry
today im drinking more water
i hate water
but i noticed if i dont drink the 4 litres i dont lose much weight
and my weigh in is thursday night
im starting to panic as in 4 days ive only lost 1/2 a pound
*not good*
was going to give up smokein today
but i chickened out
im so afraid of not losein weight
but i have to give up
ive ran out of sick pay
so i have no more money to buy them
but good news i did 35 mins on my trewadmill
woohoo *which was 200 cals*
aim for today is to do another 35 mins
