Continuing on with The Four Day Win: End your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace,
by Martha Beck, recent exercises had me make a grid showing how fat I
felt at various times in my life. Then you analyze the times you were
thinnest and the times you were fattest. You rate things like your love
life, work, friendships, finances, family, medical conditions, leisure
time, living environment, etc. Then you try to find patterns.
I only remember one time I was 'at my thinnest' and that was age 21 when
I went from about 165 pounds to 125 pounds and a size 7. I went jogging
every day and only ate one meal a day -- a single frozen
weight-watchers entree´ like lasagna or something. That's it. It
worked quickly and I never felt so slim and sexy in my life, and that's
when I met my first husband. Of course I couldn't eat that way forever.
As I put weight back on, he made me feel bad about it, unworthy and
unlovable, and I put more weight on. He had affairs, and I put more
weight on. So I was pretty miserable and feeling fat then, and that
lasted until my late 30s when I hit my all time high weight of 296
pounds, and it freaked me out. Seeing 300 that close was scary. I did
get down to about 288 before moving to Australia, then 275 by my wedding
day. The first few years here I actually got down to 197, so while
that's hardly thin, it's one of the thinnest weights for me in many
years.
As far as finding common elements of the times I felt my fattest, it
wasn't hard. Unhappy in love or single and lonely. Unstable/unhealthy
friendships. Dealing with my screwed up family's issues. But I don't
feel that way these days, do I? Are any of these things holding me back
today? I'm very happy in love now, have healthier relationships and …
hmm. While I moved away from my family, there are still major issues
back home that affect me. Family members I wish I could help, but
who've chosen their beds and now have to lie in them. It's stressful,
sometimes causes anxiety. Could that have anything to do with why I've
felt stuck for the last couple of years? And what can I do about it?
Half hour walk today -- wanted to go longer but it started to rain. But
hubby made a nice observation. He said my endurance has improved a lot
in the past week. Those first couple of days I was walking slower and
breathing harder -- now I'm moving much faster, taking the inclines, and
breathing a bit easier. That's good to hear. :)
Today's Menu:
Overnight Oatmeal
Half serve Spicy Lentil Chili
Spinach & Mushroom Lasagna Rainy Day Lentil Soup
1 crusty bread roll
TOTALS: 1573 calories (65/21/14)
I gotta say, that Rainy Day Lentil Soup
was delicious, though next time I'll throw the potato in a bit later as
it got done way before the lentils and fell apart a bit, and maybe add
the garlic sooner, but this was really delicious! Leave it to Susan, I just love her recipes and use them often.
Yes, this time last week I was lying in the hospital bed wishing like
hell the night (and the nausea) would end soon, but it dragged on into
infinity. One week later I'm doing much better, though I still have
that strange semi-queasy, too much acid feeling in the pit of my
stomach, and it never seems to go away. Not sure what's up with that.
A bit more movement in the arm each day, but another week until I see
the doctor again. I'm guessing he'll start physio soon after that, and
while I'm very much looking forward to being able to use my left arm
again, I remember how painful physio was on the shoulder BEFORE I had
surgery -- before they realized I actually needed surgery, that is.
Slightly over half an hour walk today -- and I did the incline part this
time instead of letting hubby and the dogs go on without me. Yay me!
LOL It did feel good, though I was doing some huffing and puffing. I
don't think it was so much an endurance thing as maybe my lungs not
being fully recovered yet? Who knows -- a combination of things
probably, but the point is I'm doing a bit more each day. I hope to be
walking an hour each day by next week.
Today's Menu:
1 apple and a Banana Choc Milkshake (blend one mashed banana with 1c choc soy milk)
Spinach & Mushroom Lasagna
half serve of Spicy Lentil Chili
Veg Schnitzel Patty Sandwich w/dijonnaise, curly fries and mixed veggies
Special K choc caramel bar
TOTALS: 1763 calories (61/19/21)
Bored in the afternoons, I've gone back to reading again, now that I can
hold the book with my left arm propped on a pillow. I picked up where I
left off so many months ago with
The Four Day Win: End your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace, by Martha Beck. A snippet from Amazon's description of the book is this:
Substitute a good habit for a bad one and stick to it for just 4 days,
and it begins to feel normal. That's the surprising discovery that holds
the key to lifetime weight control, according to life coach and New York Times best-selling author Martha Beck. Not a conventional diet or exercise program, The Four-Day Win
combines evolutionary logic, psychology, and neuroplasticity (the
ability of the brain to restructure itself, which suggests ways to
reshape our bodies) with strategies and success stories--plus large
doses of humor and an insightful, straightforward approach to teach the
principles required to reverse weight issues.
Today's chapters were about not relying on (giving your power away to)
any external source, be it this book or any other, or any specific diet
plan or expert, but rather what feels real and true to yourself. I
think I've kind of done that -- I mean over the years I've read HEAPS of
diet books and followed even more different diet plans. This time I'm
using what works for me, and eating foods that I love so I can do this
for the long haul.
And another reason I'm looking forward to getting my arm working again
is that I've seriously thought about hiring a personal trainer. I think
I'd push myself more with someone guiding me. I don't think that is
the same as giving your power to an external source -- I see it more as
me taking control by deciding to follow an expert's suggestions. I'll
know whether or not it feels right for me once I get started. Have any of you used personal trainers, and if so, what was your experience like? I'd love to hear.
Still in recovery from shoulder surgery, I alternate from having no
appetite whatsoever to being very hungry. Tonight I was hungry, so I
added a bit of peanut butter on toast instead of a snack bar tonight.
So the calories are a tad higher but I stuck to a small amount of peanut
butter and it was enough to curb the hunger. I had another drop this
morning, too -- 0.8 kg (1.76 lb) since yesterday, so it's 7 kg (15.43
lb) off so far. I really shouldn't get on the scale until Saturday.
It's happened to me before, you see nice losses during the week so you
think Saturday will bring good news, but for some reason it goes up. It
can be a real let down, so I'll try to avoid it until Saturday.
Today's Menu:
Special K choc flakes (60g) with 1c choc soy milk
1 medium banana
2 vegan BLTs, w/2 slices veg bacon each, lettuce, tomato and a bit of low fat dijonnaise Spinach and Mushroom Lasagna
2 slices toast, each with 2 tsp peanut butter and 2 tsp strawberry all-fruit jam
TOTALS: 1955 calories (60/19/21)
I wish the headaches and the queasy feeling would go away -- I've
stopped the meds, so I'm not sure what's causing it. Oh, but I did get
in a half hour walk again, still a bit slow but it felt really good.
Got in a half hour walk today -- each day I can do a bit more than the
day before. Yesterday's walk I was pretty slow, in fact I had hubby
detour to pick up things from the store while I kept going, and he
caught up with me just as I got home. Today, however, he and the dogs
detoured a steeper area of the trail that I wasn't up for just yet, and
though it wasn't a long detour, I was still pleased to beat them home.
Definitely going at a bit faster pace than last week. Back on a planned
menu today, so I can control the calories.
Today's Menu:
Special K (60g) with 1 banana and 1c lite soy milk
1 scrambled tofu burrito with tomato capsicum (bell pepper) soup Spinach and Mushroom Lasagna
1c choc soy milk with 1 Special K choc caramel bar
TOTALS: 1624 calories (61/21/18)
Every day the shoulder gets just a little bit better -- I can dress
myself for the most part and even got my own shoes on today before the
walk! Sounds like such a small thing, but when you've needed someone's
help to do everything, it's a big deal. I wish I could say that I'm
feeling better. I don't know for sure but it almost feels like when I
get sinus infections, only I don't have a blocked or runny nose -- I
always have that with a sinus infection. This feels more centered in my
head and my chest. I've heard you can catch hospital borne infections
after surgery, or from the anesthesia. I can't drive -- but if it gets
worse tomorrow maybe I'll have to see a doctor.
Anyway, here's an update of my weight goal graph (click it to view
larger) -- I did have another
drop this morning of .6kg (1.32 lb) since yesterday, so I thought I'd
update it. That's 6.2kg (13.67 lb) so far. Let's hope that continues so
I
have a better 'official' weigh in next Saturday.
Saturday weigh-in -- pretty much where I was last week
I really didn't expect any big drop today, despite the days where I
couldn't eat much after surgery. Being backed up as a side-effect of
meds would have some affect, though that's much better now. So I wasn't
really surprised to see 112.8kg (248.68 lb) this morning, which is up
0.2kg (0.44 lb) from this time last week. I'm not worried about it,
this arm is only going to get better and I'll be able to do more. We're
going to try a short walk today and see how it goes.
Today's Menu:
1c Prune Juice
Thai Veggie & Tofu Satay, Lunch Portion
Scrambled Tofu Burritos (3)
1c Choc Soy Milk & 1 Special K Choc Caramel Bar
TOTALS: 2146 (61/17/22)
Hubby wanted the scrambled tofu burritos tonight, it's one of his
favorites. I haven't worried too much about calories this week, given
the days I could barely eat at all. Mostly just focused on getting over
the surgery and post op symptoms. I've done that now, so it's time to
get back on track with my calories. Still, these last few higher
calorie days have not adversely affected my daily average for this past
week, which is:
Just taking it easy today, able to do a bit more. And feeling heaps
better thanks to stopping the pain meds entirely. You may recall
yesterday I cut the dose in half. Well today I cut the Endone completely
and just took Panadol. Yes, definitely more pain this way, it's only 3
days post op, but the side effects of Endone were just too much for me.
Not to be too indelicate, lets just say things are now moving regularly
again, and much less nausea and abdominal discomfort. The reduction in
pain just wasn't worth it.
Today's Menu
Special K (90g) with 1.5c lite soy milk
1c prune juice
Home made vegan pizza on Lebanese bread (w/Toffutti)
Veg Schnitzel patty on bread w/dijonnaise, hot chips and veggies
Special K snack bar (choc caramel)
TOTALS: 1905 calories (59/21/20)
I find if I lay down for a while the pain is much less, but then when I
move again it's much worse. I don't go back to see the doctor for 2
weeks, so I guess all I can do is rest it as much as possible now. I'm
sure he'll start me on physiotherapy soon enough, and that's going to
hurt plenty, I'm sure.
Just taking it easy today, able to do a bit more. And feeling heaps
better thanks to stopping the pain meds entirely. You may recall
yesterday I cut the dose in half. Well today I cut the Endone completely
and just took Panadol. Yes, definitely more pain this way, it's only 3
days post op, but the side effects of Endone were just too much for me.
Not to be too indelicate, lets just say things are now moving regularly
again, and much less nausea and abdominal discomfort. The reduction in
pain just wasn't worth it.
Today's Menu
Special K (90g) with 1.5c lite soy milk
1c prune juice
Home made vegan pizza on Lebanese bread (w/Toffutti)
Veg Schnitzel patty on bread w/dijonnaise, hot chips and veggies
Special K snack bar (choc caramel)
TOTALS: 1905 calories (59/21/20)
I find if I lay down for a while the pain is much less, but then when I
move again it's much worse. I don't go back to see the doctor for 2
weeks, so I guess all I can do is rest it as much as possible now. I'm
sure he'll start me on physiotherapy soon enough, and that's going to
hurt plenty, I'm sure.
At first it felt like another day with no appetite. Barely finished half
a cup of my soaked oatmeal, and it wasn't easy to get down. But later a
few potato chips were a bit easier to eat for some reason. So hubby
made a run to the store and came back with a jar of peanut butter. Now
if you've been reading for a while you might know that's a trigger food
for me so i don't keep it in the house. It worked, but too well. I ate a
large peanut butter sandwich with no problem. Good that I was eating,
but it was definitely too much fat (it was one of those wider loaves of
bread, and i spread peanut butter thickly) and while i did eat it all
fairly easily (which was the goal) i felt a bit queasy afterward. Not
the nausea I've been feeling, i think this was from the peanut butter,
so hopefully that will keep me from finishing off the jar. LOL
Anyway, here are today's stats, and thankfully those very low calorie
days i had this week will help even out the peanut butter when i
calculate my daily average this week.
Today's Menu:
1/2 cup oatmeal w/raisins and cinnamon soaked in half cup lite soy milk
1 banana and 50g potato chips
Lg peanut butter and strawberry jam sandwich
Spicy lentil chili w/Toffutti
Special K Forrest Berry (60g) with 1clite soy milk
TOTALS: 1958 calories (50/15/35)
Wow that's a lot of fat, but it did the trick and got me eating again. Now can i forget the peanut butter is in there? Hope so.
Tomorrow should be a better day. I've cut the pain meds in half -- I
think Endone is contributing to the nausea. We'll see if i can cope with
the pain level on half a dose. It's pretty strong stuff from what i
hear. Still taking Panadol as well. Oh, and Coloxyl with Senna
(laxative) for one of the other side affects of Endone. I think that's
part of why my weight's actually been up this week despite lack of
appetite. Today I've also been taking Metamucil, so i hope it works
soon.
Can only type one handed so I'll be brief, and please forgive typos.
Monday when i called for surgery time they said 6:30 am! We'd have to
catch train at 2am to do that so we made judgment call. booked a room
near hospital, took dogs to in-laws, grabbed dinner at subway and caught
the train. Hotel said 2 stars. i think that was stretching it, but we
just needed a bed for the night. Half hour walk.
Monday Menu:
60g Special K Forrest Berries, 1c lite soy milk, 1 banana
spicy lentil chili
foot long veggie patty sub w/grain waves chips TOTALS: 1852 calories (60/18/22)
Up at 5:30 Tues, shower and walk 15 min to hospital. so thirsty (fast
from midnight) and in for surgery. came to in recovery room, offered
salad sandwich for lunch. nauseous, could only choke down half. they
brought me another for dinner but couldn't touch it. anesthesia and a
block in the neck ensured i felt no pain but felt so sick to my stomach
as side effect.
Tuesday Menu:
half a salad sandwich (1 slice bread, lettuce, tomato and cucumber slices) TOTALS: 81 calories (77/16/7)
What a long night, couldn't sleep, feeling sick. Felt like so many hours
went by, surely it must be 6 or 7 am. asked nurse. 1 am. what felt
like an eternity later asked again. 4 am. longest night ever! Finally
morning came. given more drugs for pain, nausea, antibiotics. just made
me feel sicker on empty stomach. tried to eat some of the breakfast they
brought. got down a few spoonfuls of weatbix cereal w/soy milk and 1/4c
OJ. a bit much better at lunch. got home and decided on soaked oatmeal
for dinner, barely finished 1c.
First, let's get today's menu out of the way. It was grocery shopping
day after lunch, and what I found myself doing before lunch is using up
leftover foods -- I generally measure out portions and stick to the
correct amount, but when there's only a little bit left in the cereal
box, not enough for another portion, sometimes I just dump it in and
have a bit extra. Not a problem -- unless I do that with more than one
thing in the day, then it can add up, as it did today with my cereal and
Toffutti Better than Cream Cheese. I should have left the extra in the
package, because before I knew it, I had used about 4T of the stuff
instead of the 2T I had intended to use.
Today's Menu: 50g Special K & 49g Light'n'Tasty Berry Cereal with 1 medium banana and 1.25c lite soy milk leftover Mexican beans and rice in a bowl, spread on 2 wholegrain tortillas with 4T Toffutti Spicy red lentil chili
Totals: 1978 calories (64/14/22)
So I'm going to be more careful about that in the future. Also, we had a 30 minute walk today.
Now,
I thought I'd show my weight goal graph -- it looks really good, but of
course the early weeks in any weight loss effort tend to show the
biggest drops -- I'm sure that line will even out soon. Still -- my
short term goal of getting under 200 by April is looking good so far.
(Click the graph to view it larger.)
This graph is from FitDay,
and I
love that website. It makes it SO easy to keep track of what I eat as
well as my activities, and there are all kinds of reports and tools to
measure your progress. Give it a go! We'll see what the coming week
brings -- I have three portions of the leftover lentil chili, and
tomorrow I'll be making a pan of vegan lasagna, so I'll have lots of
quick microwaveable meals for the coming week so I won't have to cook
with my shoulder in a sling.
