Our beloved Jack Russell went in for her x-rays today - the pills the
vet gave us to get her through the weekend did their thing, and we saw a
renewed energy in her, so we were hopeful. Sadly, the x-rays today
showed a large pancreatic tumor and another smaller one in the throat
area, so it has metastasized. They think one of her kidneys is
shriveled as well. We talked before hand and had decided if the news
was bad we'd put her down today. Keeping her going wouldn't do either
her or us any good. But when we went to pick her up from the vet, she
was alert, excited, and happy thinking we'd come to take her home. We
wanted to spend an hour with her sitting outside in the grass before the
time came, but she thought we were going, and started walking toward
home. So we walked around with her a bit circling back to the vet and
she stopped, resisting. She didn't want to go back. It broke our
hearts, and my husband couldn't cope - he couldn't do it today. So I
talked to the vet. He'd said she likely only had a few days -- the
pills made her seem better -- was there a chance we could keep giving
her the pills and she might die peacefully in her sleep? He thought it
unlikely. She would deteriorate over the next few days to a week even
with the pills, and it would only get harder on everyone. I said my
husband was outside with her and couldn't do it so we'd decide again in a
day or two. But when we got her home we talked about it again. We
just couldn't bear that her last few hours were in a cage in the vet's
office. He wanted her to have one more night in our home, and we'd take
her in first thing in the morning. So we've made an appointment for
tomorrow morning. It's going to be SO hard, I know that -- but you had
to see her. She was SO happy to be going home, and so excited and
wanted to walk home right then. We just couldn't. God give us the
strength to let her go tomorrow. I've been through this before, so I
thought I was the strong one, handling it better than him. But I've had
my breakdowns when he's not watching as well. We can't imagine life
without her, and are devastated she won't get to live in our new house.
So much to be happy about -- but I'm sad this week.
I did have a nice loss this week. I was 108.4kg (239 lb) this morning,
so it's nice to be out of the 240s. That's a loss of .8kg (1.8 lb) this
week and a total loss of 7.6kg (16.8 lb) since the start of the year.
That's certainly good news.
We're also happy to be moving along
on the house purchase, having met with the broker and filled out a ton
of paperwork. The building and pest inspection is done and there are no
major problems to be concerned with. It looks like we'll be signing
the contracts early next week. Hooray!
But there's been bad news
with our beloved Jack Russell. You may recall back in December I
mentioned she was vomiting in the middle of the night, and they took
x-rays and did blood tests but couldn't find the problem. It seemed to
go away for a while, but recently she's been vomiting small amounts here
and there (mostly liquid this time, though) and not just in the middle
of the night. She's not been eating much at all and has lost quite a
bit of weight so we got worried. We took her to the vet again Wednesday
morning and they ran some more tests saying we'd get the results the
next day. She happily ran home from the vet, though, and her energy
seemed better. But on Thursday they said it looked like it could be
kidney disease, for which there's not much they can do. We were
devastated and watched her very quickly deteriorate after that.
They
asked us to bring in a urine sample Friday morning to confirm the
diagnosis. When my husband came in with it Friday he spoke to the owner
of the clinic, an older vet with more experience, and my husband
started discussing it with him. If it's kidney failure, she would be
drinking heaps of water and peeing a lot. But she's not! The vet
studied her blood work, not only recent but the stuff from back in
December to compare it to. He thought it might be something called
Addison's disease, which can also be fatal but is treatable. We could
do more tests to confirm, but because she was deteriorating so fast and
we didn't know if she'd last the weekend, he sent home some pills to
try. Just two - one for Friday night and the other for Saturday
morning. He said if that's what it was we'd notice a big difference by
morning.
Since Thursday night she could barely walk without
wobbling around like a drunk, kept her tail between her legs, and
wouldn't eat anything, though she did drink a little bit. About 20
minutes after he gave her the first pill on Friday she perked up, got up
and walked around a bit (with minimal wobbling) and wagged her tail a
lot. We were cautiously optimistic, not wanting to get our hopes up too
high. He was supposed to give the pills 12 hours apart so he woke up
just after 5am and gave her the other pill. After she took it she
wandered over by her dish and then the garbage can, sniffing around for
something. Thinking she might want food, he got out some cooked chicken
from the fridge and she scarfed it, tearing bits of it out of his hand.
It was so exciting to see her eat again! He did say the meds could
make her want to eat, so we still didn't want to get too excited, but at
the same time if it was her kidneys the pills shouldn't have made any
difference at all.
She didn't want to eat earlier today, even the
chicken and sardines he offered her. But she did come outside with us
for a while, moved her bowels, and ran around the back yard a bit. You
can't imagine our faces when we saw her run! We were ever so hopeful
that this was the problem, it was Addison's and we could treat her! But
about 11:30 this morning the vet called, having heard back from the
specialist he'd consulted, and the specialist thought it possible she
had a stomach tumour. In any case, the vet asked us to stop in and pick
up more of the pills to get her through the weekend, and we can run
more tests next week.
So we don't know what to think now - it's
possible they can operate on a stomach tumour but she's nearly 12 years
old now, and in her weakened state do we want to put her through that?
It's so hard to say -- we don't want to keep her going just for us if
it's really her time to leave us, but at the same time if it is
something that's treatable we don't want to give up on her. We just
love her so much. Of course our other dog is terribly jealous of all
the attention she's been getting, so we're careful to give him some of
the special foods as well.
We want so much to be excited about
our new house now, but hubby just gets depressed thinking she's not
going to ever see it. I just keep thinking positive thoughts. We can
only love her while we have her. I keep telling him to BE with her now,
while he can. Love her and cuddle her and focus on positive energy as
much as possible. We may have a difficult decision to make next week,
but this weekend is all about loving her. So that's what I'm going to
do.
I haven't talked much about our house hunting for a while now. We
started looking around December 2008 and for a while we were going to
heaps of open houses. We came close to buying one in May 2009 but
decided against it. We've continued to go to a few open houses here and
there, but only when they really piqued our interest. Today we saw
such a house, and I didn't really expect much to happen because even
when we've been interested enough to make an offer, someone else has
always snapped it up before we even had a chance. So imagine my
surprise when today we not only made an offer, but it was accepted.
That's right -- it looks like we're going to be homeowners! I'm so
excited and nervous at the same time!
A nice loss this week ... was it the starch or the fasting?
I did have a nice loss this week, but I can't say whether it was due to
increasing my starch and decreasing my fat, as recommended by Dr.
McDougall. It may have been from the forced fasting I had to do for a
day and a half. It definitely wasn't due to training -- cuz I didn't go
at all! Nope, not even once this past week. Before you think me a
slacker -- let me explain. The week started off with torrential
downpours flooding several suburbs around our home. There were reports
of people getting stuck in the high waters all over the place, and due
to all the road closures, they were recommending people stay with a
friend rather than try to get home. I didn't want to risk getting
stranded, so rather than stay to workout, I went straight home. Others
that I work with weren't so lucky. Some I checked with 2 hours later
still weren't home, though they didn't have to drive much further than
me!
The next day I got a call from the doctor's office. I was on the list
for a colonoscopy and had been pushed back to sometime in June. But
suddenly they had an opening and wondered could I do it this week. That
meant one and a half days of fasting in preparation (other than the
disgusting stuff they make you drink on the day before). Afterward,
I've been having a lot of cramping and discomfort, so I took it easy the
rest of the week. I've had this procedure a couple of times before
with no problems, but I've read that it's not uncommon to suffer cramps
for a few days afterward. If it goes on longer, though, I'll have to
notify the doctor, though.
No matter what the reason, I'm happy to report I'm down 1.4 kg (3.09 lb)
this week, for a total loss of 6.8 kg (15 lb) to date. Woot! :)
This week I was less than pleased with my results. I still kept my
carbs to about 60% of my total calories, which I try so hard to do
because of course my trainers think I'm having way too many carbs. Let
me say that my carbs are all healthy carbs, not sugar and bread and
such. In fact I rarely eat bread or pasta, relying mostly on beans,
lentils, whole grains, fruits and veggies. I've been attending group
training 4 times a week, and this past week my average daily calories
was like 1450. With that number of calories and working out so much, I
should be losing big numbers. But this week I lost .2 kg - yes that's
only 200g (or .44 lb). So my total loss to date is 5.4kg (11.9 lb).
It's been 2 months, I should have lost more than that.
I know my
trainers want me eating more protein -- but this time I've decided to
consult people who actually promote plant-based diets. I've sent out a
couple of email inquiries to vegan dietitians (who think I'm on the
right track with my diet) and a vegan body builders (no reply yet) and I
even asked Dr McDougall directly for his opinion. I told him what my
trainers advise, and asked if he thought athletes or people in training
require more protein. In a nutshell, he replied:
You
are getting typical but bad advice - and you need to follow a starch
based diet better. Diet (not exercise) is the key to weight loss. My
guess is you have not been following my recommendations closely enough
(too little starch and too much oil).
I appreciate his input and I love that if you write him he will actually
write back. I do not use any added oil, but I do put a small amount of
tahini in my home made hummus. Well no more. This week I'm going back
to McDougall basics -- which means the percentage of carbs will go up
in the coming week, but the percentage of fat will come down. I
pre-plan my meals a week ahead, so my average daily totals for the
coming week are 1365 calories, 73% carb / 15% protein / 12% fat. We'll
give it try and see what works for me. Wish me better luck next week.
:)
OK a late post here -- a friend and I just got back from seeing Lisa Williams,
and she was awesome, just like on her show. Unfortunately, we didn't
get readings, but some near us did and there were some very touching
moments.
Anyway, because I had plans tonight, I didn't get to workout,
but I did stop in for my 8 week measurements (that were due last
week). I dropped in weight, and in most areas in centimeters as
well. But once again my body fat percentage went up and my muscle mass
went down. How is this freaking possible? Not only that but the
centimeters I lost on my upper arm came back? Hmm -- maybe all those
bicep curls and push-ups you've got me doing? I don't know -- but I'm not
going to worry about it too much at this stage. Anyway, just wanted to share the
results. Click the picture to view it larger.
I
had another really good week -- dropping .6 kg (1.3 lb) for a total
loss of 5.2 kg (11.5 lb) so far this year. I also added a new training
class to my routine this week -- in addition to the Fit Camp on
Mon/Wed/Fri, I added Strength Training on Tuesday night. It was tough
and I could definitely feel it in my chest, arms and legs the next day
-- but by Thursday I could REALLY feel it! Wow, I was sore! Mostly my
inner thighs (probably from all the squats and lunges with a barbell
behind my neck) but also my arms (from lifting weights and tons of
push-ups). The muscle right in front of my underarms was so sore -- I
guess that's the pecs? Anyway, between that and my inner thighs, I was
feeling it for days after! So with that addition I'm now attending
group training four days a week. I'm due for my 8-week weigh and
measure so I'll schedule that next week and share the results here.
I've
improved a lot in nearly every area, though jogging is still hard for
me. I'm getting more and more comments from others in class telling me
how much I've improved and how well I'm doing. It's nice to hear. I
joined early in January and there were people in class then that I don't
see any more, so maybe they're surprised I haven't quit yet. It is
hard, that's for sure, but I'm not quitting. Every small gain in
strength or endurance feels so good, and I want to keep improving.
Sure, I want to lose weight -- but right now, I'm just focusing on
getting fit and strong.
The new female trainer conducted Friday's
class -- I like her, she does a good workout. But after class some of
the girls were asking her about nutrition. She said she'd been really
studying nutrition lately, and she recommended consuming only protein
(in the form of meat, eggs and dairy) for three days straight, then
adding small amounts of veggies and whole grains for the rest of the
week. She said this was the fastest way to lose weight. It is really
hard to bite my tongue when I hear stuff like that -- I realize that in
the fitness industry most of her clients want to know how to lose
weight, and lose it fast. Sure, we all want that, right? So did I when
I was her age. But much more important to me these days is my HEALTH.
I kept thinking, 'yeah, they'll lose weight fast in the beginning, but
they'll gain heart disease or cancer.' I wanted to help her nutrition
studies by loaning her The China Study,
but I've learned it's better to keep my opinions to myself. I'm not
likely to convince them to go veg any more than they're going to
convince me to eat meat. And that's OK, it's a personal choice; I'm not
out to be a crusader. I've got enough to do just focusing on myself.
Nutritionally
this week I averaged 1464 calories per day (66/16/18). I generally
like to keep the carbs at or below 60% so it was a tad higher this week
-- I'll try to get that down a bit in the coming week. That's it for
now -- I'm off to read how you all did this week. :)
Yes, 4 pounds gone (1.8 kg) -- finally a good report. Seven weeks from
last time, TOM has finally come and gone again. I figured I'd have a
loss this week, but I didn't expect 4 pounds -- that's fantastic. I
know some of it is the weight I was holding on to for the last couple of
weeks, but I'm just glad to see it gone.
I appreciate the comments from a couple of friends that I just needed to
focus on my goals and not let it get to me. Focus is exactly what I
did this week. I made a plan, as I always do, only this time I wasn't
trying to increase protein like the trainer wanted -- I just went back
to my original formula as it was working for me. And I did make that
pot of 'rainy day lentil soup'
I talked about -- man, was that good! I love home made soup, and this
is my favorite soup of all. I do make a couple of minor changes from
Susan's recipe, and that is to add the garlic right away rather than at
the end (it just gives a better flavor I think), I add the potatoes
about 15 minutes before it's done so they don't get too mushy, and
instead of red wine vinegar I prefer balsamic. But other than that, I
follow her recipe. This stuff is YUM, so filling and low in calories.
My calories for the week averaged 1602 per day (60% carbs/18%
protein/22% fat) and I lost 4 freaking pounds. How good is that? Next
week I have to do another weigh and measure at the fitness center so
let's hope for another strong week ahead.
Let's talk TOM again this week, because I'm so frustrated. I went in
for a pap test today. They asked when my last TOM was and seemed
surprised when I said nearly 6 weeks. I keep thinking it's going to be
here any day because my weight's been up and down for the last 2 weeks.
It's not fair -- either come and get it over with, or stop coming back
at all, would ya? I have PCOS, I'm 47, and I have no plans to ever have
kids, so I really don't need you visiting me anymore, OK TOM? In fact I
welcome menopause, if it means I don't need to deal with your crap
anymore. Bring it on. You don't even have to be here yet to mess with
my appetite. In the week or two before your visit, you make me more
hungry and more likely to veer off plan. I don't usually have a problem
staying the course, but you make it so hard. So please don't go away
mad, just GO AWAY.
OK -- got that rant over with. So I'm 113.2kg
(249.56 lb) which is a gain of .88 kg (.4 lb) from last week. Not
much, but not going down either. I'm definitely not on track for
meeting my goals and really need to turn this around in the next 2 weeks
before my next weigh & measure at the center. I may not have any
control over my hormones or mother nature, but I can take better control
of what I'm eating. In the summer I try to have meals that are easy to
throw together without so much cooking, but I could make some soup this
week. I can fill up on a large bowl of home made lentil soup, and it's
like 230 calories and so delicious! So what if it's not winter -- all
the rain we've had doesn't make it feel much like summer, either. So I
may try that this week. Whatever it takes to get this stall moving
again.
No, I haven't disappeared -- just been SUPER busy, so just a quick post
tonight. I reported a weight gain last week prior to my expected TOM,
which STILL hasn't arrived, but the weight has come back off. So right
back where I was the week before the gain. Ah well. It's very
frustrating, to say the least. I know, I've got PCOS -- irregular
cycles come with the territory. But for years I was on the pill to
force regulate it, so when I suddenly quit taking them about 4 years
ago, I was surprised to find myself relatively regular after that.
Except in the last couple of years or so, I sometimes hit a cycle that
lasts 6 weeks, even though the weight gain that precedes it still comes
at 4 weeks! I have no idea what that's about. I'll be 48 this year, so
I know at some point I'll be in pre-menopause but when you've got PCOS,
how would you know? I mean -- is it the PCOS or menopause that's
wreaking havoc with my cycle? Who knows. I guess it doesn't really
matter, it's just very frustrating when you're trying to have a
consistent weight loss.
I'm still working out, and today I was getting heaps of encouragement
from the other members, which felt good. Even the trainer singled me
out and asked where I got my energy from, so I know I worked hard
tonight. I guess it would be nice to expect a weight loss every week,
but I've just got to accept that it doesn't work that way for me. Like
it or not, this is where I am. Ah well. I'll try to check in again in a
day or two. Hope you're all doing well.
