The news wasn't good; it's time to say goodbye.
Our beloved Jack Russell went in for her x-rays today - the pills the
vet gave us to get her through the weekend did their thing, and we saw a
renewed energy in her, so we were hopeful. Sadly, the x-rays today
showed a large pancreatic tumor and another smaller one in the throat
area, so it has metastasized. They think one of her kidneys is
shriveled as well. We talked before hand and had decided if the news
was bad we'd put her down today. Keeping her going wouldn't do either
her or us any good. But when we went to pick her up from the vet, she
was alert, excited, and happy thinking we'd come to take her home. We
wanted to spend an hour with her sitting outside in the grass before the
time came, but she thought we were going, and started walking toward
home. So we walked around with her a bit circling back to the vet and
she stopped, resisting. She didn't want to go back. It broke our
hearts, and my husband couldn't cope - he couldn't do it today. So I
talked to the vet. He'd said she likely only had a few days -- the
pills made her seem better -- was there a chance we could keep giving
her the pills and she might die peacefully in her sleep? He thought it
unlikely. She would deteriorate over the next few days to a week even
with the pills, and it would only get harder on everyone. I said my
husband was outside with her and couldn't do it so we'd decide again in a
day or two. But when we got her home we talked about it again. We
just couldn't bear that her last few hours were in a cage in the vet's
office. He wanted her to have one more night in our home, and we'd take
her in first thing in the morning. So we've made an appointment for
tomorrow morning. It's going to be SO hard, I know that -- but you had
to see her. She was SO happy to be going home, and so excited and
wanted to walk home right then. We just couldn't. God give us the
strength to let her go tomorrow. I've been through this before, so I
thought I was the strong one, handling it better than him. But I've had
my breakdowns when he's not watching as well. We can't imagine life
without her, and are devastated she won't get to live in our new house.