Then one day it just... clicks

Sooo

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:02:12

Diet started full force today. Didnt wake up in the morning for a workout but considering I'm always tired and havent been to the doc.'s yet I'm not going to beat myself up yet. Eating.. well, I've been playing eating very safe. Grits in the morning, a 100 calorie bar for a snack, and soup for lunch. For my next snack I plan on having my favorite 15 calorie popsicles and then dinner will be a dousy and I'll have to be careful. It's hubby's night.(for bad food) So I'll be cooking juliene potatos and fried chicken. I'm already limiting myself to two chicken strips I'm figuring 140 each strip and juliene potatos(which are one of my weakness) 2/3 of a cup. Hopefully I wont have to play it safe forever but this is usually how I've been succesfull on getting my weight off and I told my mom since we are tight on money that I want to try to get down 20lbs by the end of december. I told her it's not the greatest present because I'm doing it more for me but she cares a lot about my happiness and she knows that would def. make me feel accomplished. 20lbs I also know is a lot. It's just a mini goal though. I've noticed the higher I set my goals the more I accomplish even if it's not the full goal. So that's my thinking. I havent stuck to dieting in a while as well so hopefully the first week will give me a head start. Things are getting better here as well. DH finally got his raise that he's been promised for a year and a half. Now that the old boss is out of the way it was a lot easier for people to get the word that he requested one. So that will def. help will the medical office bill. Which let's me relax a little about that. But I'd be lieing if I said I wasnt still concerned with the test results. But things are finally looking up again. I hate those bad spots in life. They stink! I g2g though because DD woke up from her nap. Take care.

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Of course... something else to stress about

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:00:21

So after I wrote my last post I had a doctor's appointment to get some moles removed.I've had both of them for years but about a year ago I noticed one of them changing colors. I didnt make a big deal out of it because it's right where my bra strap would is so I figured it's just like that because it gets irrated by the clothing. Well, I go in there and the doctor is all upety(sp?) and then he takes a look at the one under my arm and gets quiet and doesnt look at me for the rest of the duration of time spent there. I've been to the hospital and through stuff a lot through my childhood and did not take this silence very well. So already stressed about this.. I go to check out thinking I have to pay my co-pay. Well, not quite, I have to pay a deductible. A $389 dollar one. I guess because it was an in-office procedure my insurance wont pay for any of it until it's over $400. So I pigged out when I got home. It was just too much. I actually have another appointment next Monday with my family doctor. But I dont even want to go now. I kind of have to though. Ever since Anna Beth I'm always tired. Especially when I first wake up no matter if I get four hours of sleep or 10. I litterally start falling asleep and I cant open my eyes because they are so heavy. It's not thyroid, I've had that tested in January. My parents say it's because I'm bored or depressed but I dont feel depressed.I love my family. Wish I had some friends down here but it could be a lot worse. Another reason I don't think this is the case is because I dont voluntarily go lay in bed or try to fall asleep... I just pass out. So as much as I hate the idea of going to ANOTHER doctor's appointment. I think it's necessary.

I will post my weight goals tommorow. I do want to respond to some of ya'll before I head to bed though. Sorry, I know this one was suppose to be about weight but I had too much dealt to me today.

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Officially back

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 23:00:10

DD is sleeping so I'm not sure how much time I have. But I am so back. I did good for a little while but when the intensity of DH situation got worse so did I. But now things are looking up.. for the most part and I can focus on what I came here to do. To sum it up... DH's boss was putting him in situations he didnt feel comfortable with.(i.e. false tickets, money being taken that wasnt for work.) He couldnt go to his boss' boss because they were best friends. So finally he starting trusting the vp of the main company.(his is just like a sister company.) So he told him and the vp promised he would take care of it without his boss finding out that it was him who told. Soo... like a week later there was this huge look on the whole branch..(that way no one would be able to tell that it was specifically for his boss) well.. his boss found out because it ended up that there were a lot more people involved than Michael could even imagine. And that's right about where I dropped off the face of the earth. His boss was trying to make him feel guilty that him and a few other people were going to be fired after 25 or more years and they wont be able to support their families which DH does care about but he didnt do anything wrong. So DH went in and told everything even things that could be considered wrong doings on his part. And like a day or two later his boss had to turn in all his stuff. So now things are cooling off and we can start relaxing And that was just suming it up. So I'm back and I WILL be back on later to catch up and write a little more about the weight issue but I need to get some things done before DD wakes up.

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real quick

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 22:09:21

Hey everyone. Just wanted to let ya'll know I havent dissapeared again.. just going through some really stressful moments and coping with them without over eating. I'm on target and doing good and will be back as soon as I can to get caught up. Comments(2)

Two days in a row... wooo hoo.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 22:05:19

So I got my body bugg a week and a half ago. But in all honesty, I just kept on with my bad habbits. Yesterday I actually started counting my calories and activity. My calories were over by like a 120 points but I still had a calorie deficiet of like 980 so I'm not going to stress it. Today I've been on point today too. Over again, but this time a little less.(not sure about how much but under 100.) Mucho activity today so I should see an even better calorie deficet when I check it tommorow. It checks it when you sleep to. Although, I did learn you dont have to wear it when you sleep but I do just because I get up in the middle of the night or I'm restless. I never get a good nights sleep. So this pattern will continue and I will only get better. It is also the second day in a row I've gotten on here. And when I'm on here I usually always get myself on track. Soo.. am I going to worry about the coming holidays. Nahh... I'll worry about it when it gets closer. It seems like no one goes trick or treating down here in Florida so there's no temptation for candy.. not that its a big issue for me anyways. Thanksgiving is yummy but as long as I stop myself I'll be ok. The only thing I think I'll have problems with is the in-laws for a week during Christmas. They have all kinds of treats laying around and soda... and man am I a sucker for some soda. The actual meal itself shouldnt be to bad though. I dont eat fish and Christmas eve that's all they really have for snacking. Crab dip, stuffed mushrooms(gag..no offense), and just other stuff that... well lets just say it makes me nasueas just thinking about it. And she(grandmother in-law) cooks the same thing for Christmas every year which is like a pork roast and just food that I dont go crazy about. So I guess if I stay away from the coke and snacks I do like I should be ok. And put my ear-muffs for all the mean things they say so I dont stress eat. On a good note, my sister is coming this Thanksgiving. I haven't seen her in over two years. It was before I was even pregnant with my daughter acutally. So it will be the first time I see Anna Beth. We dont have a great relationship because of the distance and the age difference. We just never really got to grow up like sisters. But I do love seeing her and getting to spend time with her. Especially since I'm a little older now. ( My sister is 22 years older than me.) I think she's coming down for Christmas too with my nieces( who are only like five years younger than me.) but unfortunatley I'll be DOWN THERE. hehe.. I guess I should say that my in-laws are not horrible people I think for the most part they have the best of intentions. They just have a horrible way of showing it. Better go for now. Thanks for listening and good luck girls. Comments(3)

Sooooooo.. I lied

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 23:05:11

I've been doing ok. Not consitent but ok. I havent checked the scales though so it's just personal judgement on what I know I'm capable of. I have lied though. I said I was going to stick to my plan but some things have happened.... my mom bought a body bugg and I FELL IN LOVE. How awesome for something to tell you just how much more activity you need. I get mine today in the mail and I cant wait and it only took three days to get it. So I will be changing my diet just once more. Hopefully ya'll can understand. So yeah these past two weeks have been really hard. Lots of cakes from publix. Our neighbors even brought a cheesecake for Anna Beth's birthday so I thought that was so sweet. Lots of eating out.And I have one more weekend of it before it's done. I also have to figure out how I'm going to be active down here. My mom is 64 and she has to burn 2,000 and then some a day. Although... this counts your sleep, when you sit down and I guess when your on the computer.

Life is ok. I finally started going to this mommy meetup group which is nice. They have mom nights only and stuff like that but I havent gone to any of those. When I did go to the park though it made me feel 50 times better. I'm still trying to figure out who I am again because I have no clue since I tried making everyone else happy for so long. Anna Beth started the big girl bed and it went totally different than I thought. She hates it... but she doesnt get out of it! We tell her good night and she just screams bloody murder but she doesnt ever try to just get off the bed or play with her kitchen and toys in the middle of the night. It totally floored me. So that's different. Potty training will start soon too. You know it feels kind of good to be as busy as I've been latley. But baby is up so I must go. Talk to ya'll later

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Still here

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 23:04:21

Sorry I've been non-exsistent. These past few weeks have been really crazy for me lots of cake and eating out because my DD's and DH's birthday are umm... two days apart. But we celebrate it with like five different groups of people.So I havent been doing that great but I will try to get back on here tonight to do some catching up. Sorry ya'll. Comments(0)

First step.. figure out what your doing

Saturday, December 8, 2007 21:00:21

If it's not one thing with EP it's another. I've tried writing a few times and I dont know if it's the computer I was using or what but I couldnt comment anyone and I couldnt write a post. I dunno.. it was very frusterating though. Before I start writing about weight loss I do want to add a picture from the family photo shoot. I havent recieved them yet but the photographer did send me a few.

That's my two year old.. well close enough anyways. Ok.. so I created a blogspot.com page to take the place of a journal. So sometime ya'll might get a copy and paste article from it because sometimes a conversation to myself works so much better than just random chit chat. So first step for me is this. Figure out which diet I'm actually on. I've been flip-flopping through diets the past few weeks because well.. I didnt know which one would work better. I usually switch between calorie counting and wendi's plan(ww). So after much consideration and some bingeing.. I've decided this. No matter what I choose.. if I stick to a diet it's going to work. I think all of these diets created work.. it's all about sticking to them. Why it took me this long to think of that.. well I dont know but that's not what matters. So my conclusion is this. I like how Wendi's alternates points per day. But I find calorie counting much much easier. So I figured out how many calories I should be eating per point day. And this is what I'm going to follow.

Monday- 1300 calories

Tuesday- 1200 calories

Wensday- 1100 calories

Thursday- 1350 calories

Friday- 1150 calories

Saturday- 1850 calories (SHD)

Sunday- 1100 calories

So that's what my week will look like. Also I've been trying to figure out how much working out I should do per week to see a change as well. And from various websites I've figured that I should be burning at least 760 calories in activity which is a 2 hour workout at the gym with me so no stress there. My official weigh in will be every Saturday morning. But for a month starting tommorow I will not weigh in at all. I need to get back on track and focus on what I'm doing. This has worked well for me before because I wasnt constantly worried about what the scale would read in the morning. On low days I will allow myself to eat whatever calories I burned because I need to keep my body healthy but on high days unless I'm extreemly hungry I will not be eating the calories I burned. So that's it. That's my plan. Now that I have that done I plan to have an easier time staying on track. I really am starting to believe that it's all about sticking to one diet more rather than finding "the right diet". I think the right diet is just what we find easier for ourselves. But that it for now. I'm going to try to check up on every one before my bed time.

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Still going

Saturday, December 8, 2007 22:07:20

But not very well. *Sigh* I'll get this. It'll work... but when.. how much longer does this have to take before it clicks. Been somewhat busy. I will be back on board with blogging soon. But until then do better than me and I'll write you soon. Comments(2)

That's enough Amanda.

Saturday, December 8, 2007 22:03:12

193.00

Ok... so I had a totally horrible past two days. Infact I indulged so much last night that I felt sick to my stomach. The scales showed that too. Yuck Yuck. So last night I just wanted to cry and kept asking myself why am I sabatoging myself. And while I still dont know the answer to that question... I promised myself that I would let me get in the way anymore. It's way overdue and I'm tired of just thinking about it. Even though I still have a ways to go 20lbs is still a great acommplishment... well I guess it's not 20 right now but that will change. So counting everything. Even my tea. I dont drink a lot of it so I usually dont count it. But it can only help me. I'm still anticipating my family pictures. I always take bad pictures. This lady was nice enough to tell me when my hair was in the wrong place and what not so we will see. I'll be back on later girls. Need to get going for now though. Btw.. any good tips to waking up early. I want to soooo bad but it seems like my body just wont let me. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

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