Just checking in!

Hope all is well for everyone . I am doing ok. My bf situation is better for now. My eating situation could be better, but it's not as bad as it used to be. I'm not binge eating like I was. Just still need to work on making smarter choices. It's hard this time of year. We have about a week left of school and it is a crazy time! If I can somehow keep my sanity over the next week , I think I'll survive. Hope everyone at EP has a nice and restful weekend!

Big Blow out!

Today I've been half asleep. My bf and I had a big blow out last night. I guess he was tired of giving me the silent treatment and finally blew his top. It's all over me, my weight issues, my buying things to lose weight, $$, communication,etc. It was the first big fight we've ever been in (4 1/2 yrs) Hopefully we can resove this, or we've decided to move on. We'll see how it goes.

As for my eating, I've done well today. Yesterday, I had ahealthy breakfast but ate a big lunch (Mother's Day- went to grandma's). I was so full from lunch that I didn't bother to eat dinner. I am down to 162 today though. The past week I've been fluctuating between 163 and 165, so this is a good thing.

I'll try and have more positive posts. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm going to wake up in the morning and be thankful for what I have.

Have a great week!

A little depressed

I don't know what is wrong with me. I know that I have so much to be thankful for, BUT I am feeling really unhappy lately. I'm going to vent for a moment....

My bf is still giving me the silent treatment and honestly it pisses me off! I ask him if everything is ok and he responds like a woman would...lol "nothing is wrong", when I know damn well something is wrong.  We have been together for about 4 and a half years. We broke up 2 years ago for almost a year. I live with him, which I know was a bad idea now. The old saying goes "why buy the milk when you already have the cow" I feel stupid because I always tell my friends that if he doesn't pop the question and committ by a certain time, then I'm leaving. But I never do. It is easier said than done! Lately everything he does pisss me off though.We hardly talk. If I try and tell him somerthing, he either doesn't respond or just nods. For example, I told him the other day when we were in the car going somewhere that a girl I work with that he has met before just had her baby. Told him the babies name and everything, he didn't really say anything. i was just trying to make conversation.I know it sounds silly to complain about that, but that was just an example of what he does all the time.  Also, he is the kind of person that doesn't think before he speaks. The other day I was just talking to him and telling him something and he said, "so what's your point?" I told him that wasn't very nice. He said "what?" He didn't even realize he said it. OR realized it pissed me off and pretended to not realize. We are very different. He is from Chicago, he is very loud and so is his family. And straight forward. I am southern, grew up in AR until '89 and then moved to Florida. No offense to anyone from up north, but there is quite a difference.  I know I'm rambling, but I am just really upset by some of the things that comes out of his mouth lately, directed towads me and others.  

On the other hand, he has a very kind heart at times and means well most of the time, just has a hard time showing it sometimes. There are a lot of positive things about him, but obviously TODAY I'm focused on the bad.

As far as my diets going,not much change. The phentermine does help with the food cravings, mostly in the evening when I need help the most. Yesterday I didn't do so well though. We went on a field trip to Medieval Times in Orlando. They give you lots of food. I ate it even though I wasn't really hungry.Then last night I took my mom out to dinner to Stonewood for Mother's Day. They have the best steaks! I wasn't hungry but I felt like I had to eat because I had taken her out. I didn't eat much though. If I can just get through the social things I'll be ok. Like today, I ate a healthy breakfast but I'm not hungry at all now and I won't eat much the rest of the day because I'm at home and not in a social setting.

Believe it or not, I feel better after venting :-) 

Hope everyone has agood weekend!

So tired today!

So today was my first day on the phentermine. I took only a half to start with.  I didn't feel much different, but I got extremely tired this afternoon. That has been normal lately though. I didn't feel "not hungry" like people say until this evening. I only ate half of my dinner, where as I can usually eat a full plate and go back for seconds. I wonder if it's just in my head though. I think I probably have to give it a few days before I decide if this stuff is going to work. I hope and pray it does.

My boyfriend is still being kind of a jerk today. when he gets mad, he stays quiet for a few days. It drives me crazy!!! It ends up pissing me off and then I feel like I have to be quiet for a few days. Sometimes I can't stand men!!!!

Wishing you all a Happy Friday tomorrow!!

I guess I'm in trouble...what else is new!

Well, today it was back to work. I normally hate being out because it's more of a pain to get substitute plans together and then get my kids back in control when I return. But today wasn't so bad. I actually had a great sub, a GREAT sub that cleans....lol  She was showing a video and I guess thought the dust on my VCR was disgusting. Sorry, but I barely have enough time to clean my own house! So, I returned to a clean class room!  The day went well, I ate ok until I got to the retirement party I had to help plan. There was cake, and I ate some. I guess it's not awful. Normally when I mess up, I go all out! Then I returned home, and that's when I got in trouble. I don't think I'm wrong for doing this, but anyone that wants to give their input on this, you are welcome to. I had ordered phentermine on line. I had to wait about 2 and half weeks to get it in the mail. It came to the house today and my boyfriend asked what it was. I told him and he got upset with me. His first question was "how much???" I told him and acted like it was no biggie. I used to do Nutrisystem and he was fine with that. This is less expensive too. I even said that to him. He just walked out of the room. I know this is because he thinks I never stick to anything. I truly want to show him he is wrong! Tomorrow wil be my first day on it. I just need something to help curb my appetite, I am always so stressed and then I end up with a bottomless stomach. I'm only going to take a half of one in the morning to start. Hope it works. In the meantime, He'll just have to get over it.

Best of luck to everyone!!

Tiger Woods and cheeseburgers!!

So today I did ok. I was off from work again and went to the practice rounds at the TPC. I saw a lot of the big name golfers there including Tiger. it was a beautiful day, just very windy! I did eat out for lunch today though. I had a cheeseburger and fries. Ok I still have some work to do, but I'm not going to beat myself up.  I did have my Weight Control oat meal for breakfast with a glass of skim milk. Doesn't that cancel out the burger??....LOL  well, I plan on eating a sensible dinner tonight if I even eat at all. I'm really not that hungry. Hope everyone is having a good week so far!

Me and the reason I'm here.

Ok, so I didn't share too much about myself yesterday, because by the time I went through all the steps of setting up this blog, and being disgusted with myself for gaining back weight I had lost, I was DONE! Didn't have too much to say, except I'm here for the same reasons as everyone else, and I really want to do it this time.

A little about me.... I am 31 and still not married(that's a whole other issue....LOL) I do have a significant other. We have been together for 4 years. YES I"M STILL WAITING FOR THAT RING, but not for too much longer....LOL  I am a 6th grade Reading teacher. My job does come with a lot of stress, especially this time of year. I actually took the day off today.  Sadly, I feel like I haven't had a break.  Spring break, I flew to AR for my grandfather's funeral. He had battled cancer for a while.  Then about 2 weeks ago, only a month after his death, my cousin that I grew up with past away. She died in her sleep. 80% blockage in two of her arteries. This has been a HUGE wake-up call for me. When I last saw her, I noticed she had become very heavy. Sadly, she leaves 3 babies and a wonderful husband behind. She had no life insurance because she was too overweight. I know it seems like I'm going into a lot, but this all adds up to the main reason I'm here. I don't ever want to be in that situation. And the way I've been eating lately, I'm heading down that path. I am a stress eater. Lately I've been eating everything I love until I'm just sick to my stomach. I'm talking cheeseburgers, pizza, you name it! Last summer I was on Nutrisystem and hired a personal trainer. I got down to 153, but a fit 153! That was the best I've looked since my senior year in high school. Life got crazy, I got stressed, and here I am again at a flabby163....YUCK!

Starting today I am going to journal every morsel I put into my mouth. i am vowing to make a BIG change in my life to become healthier, not just for me, but for the people that love and care about me.

Good luck to everyone!

Newbie!

Hello everyone!! I am new to extrapounds (obviously I'm here because I have EXTRA POUNDS!!) I am tired of being unhappy with myself. It effects me and everyone around me. My weight has been up and down all my life. I swear I've been dieting since I was in the 4th grade. It stinks to live your life that way. So once again, I'm starting over. My goal is to become healthier and thinner. So here I go.......