1.5lb gain
Good morning folks
Weighed in this moring and had a 1.5lb gain. Normally this would set me back bigstyle but today im so pleased. Why? Because it means that most of the weight i lost last week on my extreme diet is staying off. The girls in the office and all have put on 2-3lb each which considering they only lost 6-8lbs is half of what they lost. i lost just under 11lbs and have managed to keep 9.5lbs off.
So yay me!
Not much else to report - i have been very boring lately. Woke up with a banging headache this morning and it was a real effort to get out of bed.
Work is going crazy. My boss has had to fly home to America because her mother is ill so i am carrying the can. We have our first stock take on tuesday (which is also my 30th birthday so i am so pissed off) and things are way outta control. Ah well
Went shopping for food last night. We had forgotten to take stuff outta the freezer for dinner (well the OH had). Normally i would have just stopped off for a pizza but no - i went shopping. And at every goody isle (cream cakes, ice cream etc) i stopped, had a little drool and walked on. Till i got to the bread aisle.
Now i am a HUGE bread fanatic. Always have been. From as far back as i can remember I have always loved bread. White brown soft crusty granary black. And the smell. yumyum. So i get to the bread aisle. And i just stand there. And the OH is trying to drag me away. And still i stand there. Smelling the delicious aroma of fresh baked bread. Wheaten and soda and pancakes and *homer simpson style drool*. And then i turned and walked away. i was so damn proud of myself. Every time i have tried "healthy eating" (remember this is not a diet!) bread has been my weakness. I cant resist the stuff. Especially when im feeling low, or bored or peckish, bread has been the one staple i have turned to. Forget chocolate or crisps or nuts. But so far, this time, i'm able to limit myself to 4 slices a day. And none after lunch. I'm finding that i'm not missing it as much as i thought. In fact im not really missing anything. I have the odd treat., The odd small bar of chocolate or small slice of wheaten or soda. But really, i'm not craving it the way i have done previously. I can only surmise that this represents a huge turning point in my thought process regarding food. When i look at my eating habits in the past, i have always found some excuse to eat. Boredom, self loathing, unhappiness...all these negative thoughts that have mulled around inside my head have lead to me eating. excessivly. But i realise that they are just excuses to eat. Im not eating because im depressed. Im eating because im using depression as an excuse to eat. Because i love the taste of food. Always have done. nothing is more satisfying than a really tasty meal (except sex and even then that isnt always guaranteed pleasure lol)
No more i say. Now im eating when im hungry and hungry only. If im bored i find something else to do. If im unhappy i find some other way to cheer myself up. Of course, i will relapse. I'm expecting it. you cant have the same bevhaviours for *gulp* 30 years and expect them to disappear in a matter of weeks. I'm still on the high. Its only been a week since i decided once more to make "THE CHANGE". give it another 2 weeks and i'll be bored of healthy eating, tired of all the consideration and prep work required to succeed. Succumb to the excuse of a busy fast paced lifestyle and convenience. But really...is it that convenient to stuff ourselves silly with processed high sugar high salt high high fat foods. Is it not more satisfying to sit down to a proper healthy delicious meal prepared from fresh ingredients?
In other news i need to start excercising. this time last year i was at the gym 3 times a week before work and i thrived on it. Unfortuantly this year i can't afford the gym. not yet anyway. and we are down to having one car between us instead of two (gotta love this credit crunch). So the gym is out. But i am gonna make myself get up earlier in the morning and do either my Wii fit or workour dvd before work. 3 times a week. until such times as i can afford a gym membership again.
Diet today
Breakfast
crunch nut cornflakes + semi skimmed milk
Lunch
Tomato soup = 2 slices wheaten
Hummous and ryvita
Dinner
Shepherds pie with turnip and celeriac mash instead of potato mash and gravy
