Losing the will!!
its gone. Jumped out the airplane @ 30,000ft sans parachute and splatted on the ocean below. What did?? i hear you cry. My will. To live. Or rather, live well.
Everything was grand on holiday, i stuck to 3 meals a day, no snacking. But yes i did drink and eat bread (white! oh the shame) and treat myself. I reckoned i was doing enough swimmin and raking about (messing around for those who dont speak norn irish) to counteract the extra calories. Now i'm not so sure. I still havent stepped on the scales. I think i look thinnner but then, a tan is a wonderful thing. And clothes that were too big for me are still too big. But i am dreading stepping on the scales in case i have put on weight. Not a pound or two, i would accept that. But say for example i have put on half a stone. That is 4 weeks of effort down the pan. And i'm not sure i can face it. I know it will throw me back so far i may just give up and go back to my old comfy ways. And of course, since i have been back, my diet hasnt been that good either. Though OH did make a nice salad last night, god love him he is trying to keep me on track-ish.
I dont know whether its the post holiday blues but atm i am feeling rather low. And i dont like it. But i dont seem to have the strength to pull out of it. Not like me at all. Plus this week is hectic what with 2 birthday parties, a wedding and father's day, i'm in the "why bother" frame of mind that makes this so hard. I've re-read my old posts, the upbeat positive ones. And read others. but still nothing is pushing any buttons. I am seriously considering wrapping myself in a duvet, snuggling down on the couch and munching on everything and anything that comes to hand (my dog may stay well away from me!)
Pft.Emotions. Who'd have em