Recap
So... Things have been going really well for me lately. I have been doing really great on my diet and with yoga. Today is actually day number 46 on my 60 day challange and I've done 46 classes. I've got less than two weeks to go to reach my goal and it really does feel fantastic to have stuck with it for so long.
As far as eating goes, I haven't had ANY animal products since the new year. And the funny thing is, cheese is the one thing I really miss. Not chicken, not sushi... but cheese. And ranch dressing. I never could have imagined myself consuming as many veggies as I do now without the aid of ranch dressing, but I'm diong it. Honestly, it hasn't been that hard. It is amazing what you can do once you've made the decision to do it. I could have never imagined a life that I live now, but it really was as simple as saying, "Ok. I'm worth taking care of. And I'm going to do this for myself."
The other awakening that I've had is that I don't need alcohol in order to facilitate a good time. I haven't had anything to drink since the new year, and really I have never felt better. The relationships in my life now are much stronger and not built on superficial partying. I feel much more productive. I make better decisions, and I am always in total control of my choices. Drunk Angela would have blown her diet with a late nigh drive thru a hundred and one times by now. But sober Angela always makes good decisions because she's always in control.
The weight loss journey has been different than the ones before because I was always doing it for someone else. I don't mean directly because my boyfriend or mother wanted me to lose weight, but there has always been an indirect motivation to please other people with my weight loss. Men will be more attracted to me. My colleges will take me more seriously. My friends will not look at me as the heavy one. I've ALWAYS tried to lose weight to please people. I've always been looking for acceptance from other to validate my self worth. And that's why this time it is different.
Everything I've done this time around has been for me. I'm not gettig thin. I'm getting healthy. I don't need you to place worth on me. I know that I'm beautiful because the journey is what is important. Not the dress that I can fit into. Not the jeans that I can buy. Not the number on the scale. I'm doing it for me this time and it feels liberating!