I actually made it out the door yesterday for my first walk in a long time... and I was thinking about how I just stopped working out in February... then went on vacation... then got sick... I've been away from the exercise scene for far too long...
which means... all the progress I was making on the treadmill (distance and speed) were also left on the way-side, so I am more-or-less having to start over...
it happens ~ and the important part is I'm starting over... I didn't quit for good.
and as you may remember from earlier blogs, I was doing a virtual climb of Mt Everest as I do this... and many times, in real life, people who attempt to summit never do for one reason or another...so... like them, I decided I can't summit on my first attempt, and that I need a Do-Over on the Everest climb, because it doesn't feel right to me to take a month off, then start up where I left off (I was into the Death zone... I was 2,848 ft away from the summit!!!)
this Everest thing for me... is like a visual, mental "thing" that helps me track my progress ~ because the only way to summit is to work out ~ and the more I work out, the closer I get to the summit. It also has the added benefit of getting me in shape so that I can REALLY trek up to the real Base Camp on Everest some time in the near future!! One of my many dream vacations!!
So... I'm officially back in Base Camp ~ I'm repacking my gear ~ and I'm starting again for the summit. That's 11,428 ft to go...
So... I suffered thru the bronchitis -thing, which left me with no voice for two weeks (which my coworkers loved!! as I could only stand there and take their verbal abuses (all in fun of course!) without shooting back)
then I went on drugs... and I got my voice back!!! (yeah!! no more sounding like a frog!!) and for the most part - my cough went away (yeah!! no more hurting my ribs and throat!!) but then...
yes...there's a "but then...."
I got diarrhea for three days straight... (caused by the antibiotics)
and as they say in my homeland of Minne-snowta... "uffda..."
NOT how I like to lose weight (but I did see the 60's again!!! for awhile anyway...)
And... I thought I was being soooo smart; when I was talking to the nurse about my latest "problems" ~ I proudly told her that I was eating lots and lots of fiber to try and get the diarrhea to stop... and she goes ..."um... that's the complete opposite of what you should do... you should avoid fiber and do B.R.A.T (bananas, rice, apples, toast) instead..."
so much for being smart...
but... I think I can finally venture more than 5 seconds away from a bathroom now, and can finally take a walk outside in this gorgeous spring weather!! it's been torture (on all levels) being stuck indoors during 50-60 degree, nothing-but-sunny-sky's kind-of weather... it's just not right...
but I do FINALLY believe that ~ to paraphrase that good ol' Aerosmith song ~
I'm BACK!! on the treadmill again.... I'm BAAAAAACK!!!!
(everyone sing it with me... don't be shy...)
p.s. and Kate..? thanks for the comments on my photos; it was a much-needed giggle (but you made me blush... ) my friends are always commenting on how I'm never in any photos (because I insist on being behind the camera) so this was a compromise... at least parts of me are now in the photo...
how long am I suppose to have this *stuff* ??? it's been 14 days now...
yes... I'm still sick ~ but I'm finally getting my voice back at least; which is good, 'cuz there are lots of people I want to yell at and can't do that without a voice... I sure felt bad for the folks I support out in Puerto Rico... our budgets were due this week and I had lots of work to do with them to get theirs finalized... so that meant lots of phone calls... and the best I could do was "yell" at a loud whisper...
so ~ since I'm not really improving any ~ I had to start on antibiotics yesterday... these better cure me... I'm sick of being sick!!
and... you know how it feels when you're sick and some other thing goes wrong ~ it feels triple-overwhelming... well... I got a new computer with Vista on it about 6 months ago, and until last week, I was feeling blessed that I wasn't having all those problems that you heard about with Vista... then I had a windows update run, and it installed a new graphics driver for me... only it f*-ed everything up; so... all of the websites I visited (including this one) were messed up beyond description... and NOTHING I did would *fix* it.
my brother ~ bless his heart ~ finally sent me a link to instructions on how to restore my system to some previous point in time.... and THANK GOD it worked!!! I can read websites again!!! everything is *normal* again!!
now... if I could just become normal again... I'm itching to get back on the treadmill again...
wonder how long it will take to get rid of this crap? just standing up sends me into a coughing frenzy... and my voice?? what the hell happened to my voice?? My cats hadn't seen me for a week, and when I come back, I sound like a frog or something... they were looking at me suspiciously for the first few days... but then they realize they get to monkey-pile on top of the human and her blanket for a nice, quiet nap... until she has those coughing fits that is... they kinda rock their world, and afterwards I get evil looks like... "how dare you disturb nap time..? is nothing sacred any more??"
poor gatos...
and believe me ~ I'd give anything to be able to sleep thru the night ~ which I haven't been able to do the entire week I've had this crap now... I still wake up every 3-4 hrs to drink water because my throat is just burning and sore!!!
I'm sick of being sick!! who wants it next?? I'm ready to pass it on to the next person...
Boy ~ could I get used to life on the island (Cozumel) or what ... re-entry into reality ?... sucks ... where are the white, sandy beaches?? where's my coconut drink?? and of course... I got sick my first day back (so I'm home again today with a fever and deep, strange-sounding voice). Coincidence?!?!? I mean... it was 85 when I woke up on Sunday ~ and 25 degrees when I landed in Colorado 8 hrs later. That's just wrong...
and I had an epiphany of sorts while I had my butt planted in a beach chair... or hammock... or the other beach chair down the beach... as I watched these different body shapes and sizes walk around in swimsuits... there were quite a few people who seemed genuinely comfortable with their size... why can't I be like that?? Or even... why DO we put so much emphasize on being thin?? It takes the joy out of things when you're not comfortable in your own skin ~ and that's kinda sad. There were those who let it all hang out and were splashing around in the water and having fun; and there were those ~ like me ~ who sat around in shorts and tankini tops watching all of the activities around us. Those who are comfortable in their own skin; those who are not.
But that's not to say ~ I want to give up and stay my size... there are so many other reasons why I want to be a healthy size still... but I think on this trip I have adjusted my inner perception so that ~ I don't have to have flat abs to feel comfortable in a swimsuit; I just need to shrink the roll(s) that are currently there...
and speaking of inner perceptions: I've always had this perception of myself that "I'm not really that large" so at times I "forget" that I'm overweight. Like when I lost the 5 lbs before the trip, I thought I must be looking pretty trim. But then I saw a photo of myself on the trip and... uggghhh!! Reality really bites sometimes...
I think one of my friends long ago had it right: when her mom mentioned the same thing (that she thought she was thinner than she really was) and asked ~ what do you call that?? my friend answered: "Denial"...
So..? how's my motivation now that I'm back?? Because before I left ~ I had none... it mysteriously disappeared... but they say a picture speaks a 1000 words so... treadmill... here I come... (just as soon as I shake this chest cold)
I think Lupine once asked me how I knew so much about Everest... well... it's pure fascination with the place!! and a secret desire to go there myself. I read Krakauer's book "Into Thin Air" and saw part of a made-for-TV movie based on that book - and I was instantly hooked!!! Which is insane because the book was about the real-life tragedy that hit that mountain in 1996 ~ where 8 people died that day.
and ever since... I've bought other books about Everest... and I watch the Discovery channels' Beyond the Limit series - which follows an expedition up Everest each year. I even have a map of mt everest for my wall...
I'm nuts I tell ya!!
and some day ~ I really truly honestly hope to trek up to base camp for real... I just need to get in shape first. A friend of mine did it a few years back... and soon it will be my turn!!!
It's exciting to see others join the climb up Everest too!! Lupine has been doing it for awhile (and just look at her go!!)... and I just read on her site that others are thinking about it too!! I say DO IT!!! the weather's fine up here!!! Join the Expedition Party!!!
did you know? In Nepal they call Everest "Sagarmatha" {goddess of the sky} and in Tibet, they call her "Chomolungma" {mother goddess of the universe}. You too could be a goddess on Everest if you climb with us!!
and check out this site: it has short clips of what it's like up there...
on my everest journey ~ I left Camp IV and entered the Death Zone... sounds exciting, eh??
Camp IV sits at 26,000 ft ~ and at that altitude, there's not much oxygen and putting one foot in front of the other takes minutes... and more energy than you can imagine or have... yet... the summit calls you... so onward and upward...
{hey! maybe my "slowness" this month is an unconscious homage to actually being in the Death zone on everest?!?!?! }
**queue Twilight music**
yah!! that's it!! whatever...
ok... so once in the Death Zone ~ I decided I could only earn 1/4 of the kCal I did in a workout (to account for the struggles at that altitude) so... I'm only 180 ft closer to the summit now... and 1,519 ft away from the part of the climb known as "The Balcony" (at 27,700 ft)
Thanks for all of your comments and for not giving up on me... I appreciate that!
I'm still struggling to get back on track ~ but I knew the time right before a vacation could result in this... so... I'm not going to kick myself over this. I am disappointed in myself ~ but ~ that's the way it goes and I know I can still do this. I leave Tuesday for Mexico and when I return...
my hiatus is interesting to me... I'm often fascinated with why I do what I do and how the mind works... there was no evil bitch (EB) telling me not to work out this time... I just.... stopped. I think it was a combo hormones screwing with me ~ and just feeling overwhelmed about work and an upcoming vacation... which seems pretty whimpy of me!! But... I think having the tanning sessions threw a wrinkle into the routine I had built up... I was getting home later ~ so I was wanting to eat dinner instead of working out... and with the sadness from the hormones came the *required* bowls of ice cream... well... you know how the story goes...
had my weigh in this week and to no one's surprise ~ I gained alittle... I'm still clinging to the 160's by a thread ~ if you take the first reading ~ so that's a reminder to me of what happens when you stop a good thing.
I was on a roll... I was LOVING it even!!! but I stopped... so... after Mexico... it's back on the wagon and hopefully no more excuses... (I'll probably work out at least once this weekend)
now that I know that hormones can knock me out of the game (for longer than I anticipated... I kept thinking "oh... tomorrow I'll feel more like working out...") I'll just know better for next time...
I wish I had a good excuse for being a slacker this week... but I honestly don't know what my problem is... there's no internal dialog that is talking me out of exercising... I'm just not exercising...? what is up with this? I do suspect that part of my problem is hormonal... TOM snuck up on me and left me buried under a blanket of sadness... not sure where that is coming from... but I'm having trouble shaking it, and so... I'm not taking care of myself.
I should be excited about my very first trip to Mexico in two weeks... but instead, I'm annoyed that I *have* to go tanning so I don't spend my vacation looking like a lobster... yet I like the way I look with a tan...
so what's the deal? why can't I shake this mysterious sadness?
Having blogged earlier today ~ that I only managed to work out twice last week ~ I got my butt in gear and did a good workout today...
It's been awhile since I've done the step video (it's been almost a month!!) ~ mostly on account of my back and knee problems... so I popped that video in today and off I went...
and I felt pretty good!! only complaint I had was...well... I was wearing a "recycled" t-shirt... one that I wore last time on the treadmill, but since I walked so slowly and didn't feel like I sweated at all... I thought I'd wear it one more time before tossing it onto that gigantic pile of laundary that's building [side note: I can't believe how much MORE laundary I have just because I'm working out !!!]
well... I must have sweated more than I knew last time I wore the shirt... because as I warmed up and raised my arms and stuff... the fumes almost made my eyes water!! But after awhile ~ guess I aired them out enough 'cuz I made it thru without fainting... (but I won't be doing that again...)
but... I'm still in the red zone... when we stop to check our pulse... mine is still outside the range ~ but not by much....
and with today's workout ~ that means I made it into Camp IV today.... Yah!!
(caused by the antibiotics)
I sure felt bad for the folks I support out in Puerto Rico... our budgets were due this week and I had lots of work to do with them to get theirs finalized... so that meant lots of phone calls... and the best I could do was "yell" at a loud whisper... 
I was wearing a "recycled" t-shirt... one that I wore last time on the treadmill, but since I walked so slowly and didn't feel like I sweated at all... I thought I'd wear it one more time before tossing it onto that gigantic pile of laundary that's building [side note: I can't believe how much MORE laundary I have just because I'm working out !!!]