It's easier to herd cats

Eye Opener

Monday, December 1, 2008 00:03:23

This is my third day tracking what I eat and... well... as I suspected, it was alittle bit of an eye opener.

I wrote last time that I was just going to eat whatever I'd normally eat ~ just to see where that got me... but being it was Jan 1st and my first day doing this ~ I lied... when I saw I had eaten half of my calories BEFORE noon... I decided that maybe I didn't really want to know on my first day... so ~ I ate a salad (something I NEVER do) and went for a 45-min walk ~ and managed to come in slightly under my goal for the day ~ YEAH ME!!!

The 2nd day ~ being Friday and a work day ~ I ate what I normally would eat ~ Taco Bell for lunch... peanut M&M's in the afternoon... and a drink after work and had a short snacking binge on salami before dinner... and... well... that was more like "me". And I was almost 800 calories over my goal. I guess that explains a few things...

But more shocking to me was how much sodium I consumed! I thought I was doing better than that!! I was 2x's more than I should be... ai ai aiy... guess that explains the blood pressure too (even though genetics is probably more to blame)

So... yaaahhh... chalk one up for the merits of keeping a food diary...

Comments(2)

New Year ~ New Beginnings

Monday, December 1, 2008 00:01:20

I like how starting a new year has this way of wiping the slate clean so that we can begin again... it's somewhat liberating!

Every once in awhile I try to keep a food diary in order to analyze what goes into my mouth. I have to admit: I hate keeping track of what I eat each day. Not because of what it tells me at the end of the day ~ but the chore of having to look up "how many calories was that?" "what was the serving size... really?" I mostly got frustrated when I ate out at a restaurant and had to guess at what the intake might be...

I've tried some online food counters but didn't really like them. Then I read someone's blog here on EP who mentioned the Daily Plate... and I grudgingly thought ~ well ~ why not check it out? So today I did ~ and I must admit ~ it seems to be a pretty cool site. I could type in "Applebee's" and it brought up their menu... so no more guessing on how much the Quesadilla Burger cost me (in terms of calories, fat, etc). Pretty cool ~ so my goal this week is to keep track of what I eat, and see where I end up. Then... I'll start making changes and see where that gets me...

I'm not going to alter my eating habits this week because I'm really curious about how many calories I was REALLY consuming... I've always thought that I don't really eat alot (no excessive snacking, no big portions anymore...) but I've always known deep down that although I may not eat a large VOLUME of food ~ I eat food very high in fat, sugar, and cholesterol. And this is where I'm sure I've been underestimating the true totals. So inquiring minds want to know just how much it really was that I was eating, so that I can remind myself later on that ~ it's more than I'd like to believe it is ~ if I ever revert back to bad habits. You could say I'm gathering facts for future reality checks!

So the first eye opener was ~ according to the website ~ I've already eaten half of my recommended daily calories (based on my current weight, height, and desire to lose 1 lb per week)... and I haven't had lunch yet. The culprit: those 2 cokes I just had to have... like I do every morning. I used to be a Coke-aholic, but I've managed to get down to 2 per day. So ~ I'll try for one a day... but giving up that last one is not negotiable... I can tell you that now!

So - I raise my Coke to new beginnings ~ and wish everyone health, happiness, and prosperity in this new year!! Cheers!!

Comments(0)

What do you fear?

Thursday, November 1, 2007 22:08:01

This is the 2nd time I've read an article about this ~ I think it poses some interesting questions that demand some serious soul-searching if one is to be honest with oneself. It was something of an eye-opener for me if I am being honest with myself...

I've asked myself two questions:

What's holding me back from achieving my weight loss goals?

What fears come up when I think of achieving my goal?

For example ~ if a control freak finds it hard to delegate, they may feel anxiety over losing that sense of himself that thinks he's a problem solver, the one who knows best, the one who's in control. For someone wanting to lose weight, they may feel anxiety over the new attention they would receive being skinny, if this person is very shy to begin with. Or maybe someone overeats because they feel that's the only way to fit into their family? and if they don't overeat, they will no longer be accepted...

There are lots of things we tell ourselves to justify staying overweight. I think if I can continue to identify these false claims, maybe then I'll be more successful at losing weight. Whatever it is that is making me secretly anxious, I know I can overcome it.

Comments(0)

Each new effort...

Thursday, November 1, 2007 22:07:23

Earlier in the year I had asked "how many do-overs do we get?" because I had fallen out of any routine I had going, and was once again starting over. I read something this weekend that I thought was the perfect answer to that. Bob Greene (Oprah's trainer) wrote:

"Instead of thinking "I've failed over and over again, why bother trying again? " take your relapse in stride and stay positive no matter how many attempts you make. Each new effort brings you closer to the one that might really work."

How true!

Comments(1)

Still herding cats...

Thursday, November 1, 2007 22:02:03

wow ~ I've been away for awhile ~ and EP has a new look! cool...

I'm not even going to waste time coming up with excuses for why I've been away. It serves no purpose and apparantly, I just needed to take a break (there were some health issues)... but it was still "productive" in other ways...

I started a new job 3 months ago and MAN am I thrilled about it! In fact I'm still giddy about it... finally ~ a job that is fulfilling!!

and with a new job comes stress... and with some new meds come the munchies... I finally read the fine print on my blood pressure meds and it says it blocks most salt from being absorbed into my system. I think that explains why I suddenly had 3 different kinds of chips in my cupboard ~ craving salt like there's no tomorrow ~ and I've NEVER been one to have chips in the house. (ok - not "never" ~ but seriously - maybe 2x a year, I'd buy a bag of chips. maybe.). But suddenly, the combo new job/no salt absorbsion sends me running down the chip aisle, filling up my cart... and if I passed anyone in the aisle with Fritos in their cart, I'd steal their bag too... it was that bad.

So my weight went up. Then my weight comes down. I think ~ as of today ~ I'm back to where I left off in Sept...

But more troubling were the aches and pains that developed over the past 3 months. The disc in my lower back is now hurting on a regular basis ~ but it's a dull pain (for now) so... I'm doing more core exercises and more stretching ~ and sticking to slow walks. I've developed a nice new sharp pain in my spine between my shoulder blades ~ seems linked to tension (which a new job produces) ~ which is also linked/triggered by the tension/burning shoulder/neck muscles that have also developed recently. That's always a pleasant feeling ~ especially when all three decide to hurt at the same time. And I'm only 44... (at least I think I'm 44?)

So during my time off ~ while nursing my back ~ I've acknowledged that ~ I'm falling apart and if I don't get serious about things, I'll be pushing a walker around by my 50th b-day. And I'll never get out and do all of the hiking and backpacking that I've dreamed I'd be doing every day of the week, now that I live next to the Rocky Mtns. And I've realized I can't deny this any longer. I'm out of shape (that's really difficult for my ego to accept).

In fact ~ I got really upset last month when I read in Health magazine that a 5'4" woman is considered "obese" if she weighs 174 lbs. Overweight at 145 lbs. I don't like being considered "obese". Another blow for the ego... I suppose it doesn't help my ego either that the graphic outlining this "news" now resides on my refridgerator.

But then I read a couple of other things that made me feel much better. I was getting upset because, as I worked out, the next day I'd be more sore than I thought I should be. I used to be very athletic and so being sore just because I walked 2 miles made me feel pathetic and very angry with myself. But I read that if you've been a couch potato for the last decade and are now in your 40's ~ everything hurts more and takes longer to recover. It just does... and I need to accept that. So I can do that... after all, I really don't want to get my exercise from pushing a walker...

And then Oprah wrote the following in her magazine that seemed to resonate with me; she wrote: "Authentic change doesn't come easy, but with self-awareness, mindfulness, and guts, it actually does come."

I like that. That's a much more poetic way of saying "just shut up and do it!"

Comments(1)

Why?? I ask myself...

Saturday, December 8, 2007 23:04:21

I'm always fascinated with why we make the choices that we do... I was thinking about that today on my walk outside... in this gorgeous fall weather. I love the fall... when there's a hint of chilly-ness in the air...

anyway ~ last week I was driving past a bike trail ~ and I found myself thinking "I wanna be one of those people who bikes on those trails... or goes for a long bike ride in the country..." I've always wanted to be one of "those" people. And during this same week ~ I also heard myself say "I wanna be one of those people who goes backpacking in the mountains, and camps at cool, remote places...." I've always wanted to be one of "them" too... I cannot tell you how many YEARS I've been "wishing" this... (and the sad reality is ~ a very long time ago, I used to BE on of "those" people...)

so today on my walk... I'm asking myself: "so what's stopping you from doing those things?" and you know... I have no idea! Why is that? Why ~ do you think ~ people who have genuine desires to go out and play ~ do nothing about it?? except dream about it?? You would think this would motivate me... but it doesn't.

What do you think is going on here?!?

Comments(2)

In-Between Sizes

Saturday, December 8, 2007 00:03:22

While on one hand ~ it's a good sign... on the other, it's annoying as hell... being in-between sizes...

I'm desparately needing to replace my wardrobe... I've been holding off because I'm suppose to be losing weight...

but I need clothes NOW! So ~ I try pants on in my "normal" size... they look and feel alittle baggy so I go down a size... they feel alittle too tight around the belly... I hate this; I hate this in-between sizes phase...

but I'm really really needing clothes now... the things I have now are so worned and washed out ~ even stretched out ~ I look dumpy... and feeling frustrated about my appearance leads to ice cream...

I know... I know... concentrate on the positives here!! my "normal" size is BAGGY on me!!! yeah!!! (but I just needed to vent alittle...)

I guess it's a good problem to have...

Comments(6)

Uffda !

Thursday, December 6, 2007 23:02:22

How many do-overs do we get???

I'm still trying to come to terms with my disappearance over these past few months... I will say that... I don't know what percentage can be contributed to "excuses, excuses" and what percentage is "genuine need to be concerned"...

I have not been feeling "right" since March... after the bronchitis attack... after the 10 days of diarrha... I can officially now say... that I'm a "dizzy broad!" Over the past 3 months - each and every time I lay down... the room spins... and lately, it's been happening more and more when I look up or bend over... so... yoga is out for now... and I'm actually scared to do aerobics in case it's something to do with my heart... I live alone so... if I collapse...

(well, you remember how my cat just walked right over me when I was on the floor doing leg lifts?? I'm sure she'd just do that again and not give it another thought...)

I've been to the doc multiple times (I actually had to switch docs after the first month because he blew me off and didn't take me seriously). I'm now on high blood pressure meds and at my doc appt this week, when I told him the dizziness has "changed" and happens at other times now... he said it's me adjusting to the new drugs...

I guess... we can try that interpretation for awhile... I'm hoping he's right and it does makes sense... but I'm not so sure my gut has bought into that idea yet. So... I'm scared to work out much... HOWEVER...

having said that ~ I know perfectly well that I can still walk around the park so... I don't need to "hide" completely behind this new, mysterious (and hopefully temporary) medical condition... the truth is, though, I'm just feeling alittle scared about this unknown...

On the up-side... I'm only up ONE pound since I last wrote!!! (which was many many moons ago...) Can't say that I'm eating "healthy" or "correctly" - but the portions must be ok..!!

I'm hoping to reconnect with you guys ~ and hope you are all doing well!! I sure did appreciate the comments checking in on me, from Kristy, Andie and Kate... that meant alot! Thanks you guys ~

Comments(4)

Everest Update

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 00:06:11

I've started out alittle slow on my 2nd attempt for the summit of Mt Everest... I left Base Camp at 17,600 ft and have climbed 831 ft towards Camp One... once again I'm passing thru the Khumbu Falls...

The Khumbu Falls is 2,000 ft of constantly shifting ice blocks that is never stable; because of this, new cravasses can open up without any warning... at any moment. They say more climbers have died going thru the ice falls than on any other part of the mountain. To get thru the Ice Falls, climbers must walk across ladders that bridge the gap from one ice "cube" to another... and they do this wearing their crampons (metal spikes they wear on their boots to walk on ice)!! Absolutely insane... This would be the 2nd reason why I couldn't really climb Everest (the first reason being I'm too outta shape) My knees would buckle in a heartbeat the first time I stepped out onto one of those ladders and looked down...

so anyway ~ I'm now 1,469 ft away from Camp One...

Comments(6)

Finding strength thru a Seuss-ical

Tuesday, December 4, 2007 00:05:15

I cannot eat a carrot stick

I cannot eat a pear

I cannot seem to make myself

run up and down the stairs

I ask myself:

Self? why so blue?

You have a brain cell !

You know what to do!

I'm blue!! It's true!

This shouldn't be ~

I feel like a fish

that's jumped out of the sea.

I do not know what happened here

I sometimes do not even care

But then I say to my cranky self

"Just shut up and do it!!

Be healthy!! Or Else!!"

My tummy can not hide in those

it's from the ice cream I suppose

My flabby thighs - they are the same

And so began the losing game

So I says to myself:

" Just get 'er done!!

You'll have more energy!!

You'll have more fun!!"

"Just think of the places where you could go?

If you didn't have to travel to them, oh so slow?

Just kick 'er into high gear and get off your ass!!

With exercise and fresh air these feelings will pass!!"

I do not know from whence it comes

I remember when exercising was so much fun

I ask myself: "self why is this so?"

"because losing weight is painfully slow"...

Comments(2)