02/21/2010 18:54
Retraining the Inner Child
You know that negative little voice in your head that thrives on undermining your efforts?? giving you permission to eat whatever you want?? Convincing you... you "need" all that food?? I hate that bitch. Where does she come from anyway?
This is one of our busy times at work; translation: lots of stress to get alot done in a short period of time. With lots of new "priorities" and fires popping up every day. Technical problems keeping you from accomplishing tasks. That sort of thing... and why is it that ~ during such crunches at work ~ we "need" to eat lots and lots of bad-for-you foods??
I am still trying to recover from my latest health issue. I can NOT afford to overeat or eat fast food or bad-for-you foods. My system cannot physically digest it without some pain and suffering for days afterwards. So... why did that evil voice insist on the McDouble hamburger? Why did it insist on pizza?? I knew I'd be in pain and uncomfortable and guess what? I was in pain and uncomfortable last week. I have no one to blame but myself. Well - actually I blame that evil inner child of mine.
If you could have heard the internal arguments I had with myself last week - you'd have thought me certifiably crazy. "I need food!!" "we just ate an hour ago!! we're NOT hungry!" "But I NEED candy!" "No you don't!" "Now I NEED pizza!! lots of it too!!" "NO. YOU. DON'T!!!" but guess who won out in the end... and who suffered afterwards?
So. While I won some battles last week with the evil inner child - they were small battles. I went without the candy but had the pizza. And the McDouble hamburger. I am tempting fate and risking serious health issues with these bad choices. So why is the evil inner child still getting her way??
I think most of her strength is fueled by fluctuating hormones. TOM should be here soon. So next week - I expect to win more ~ if not all ~ of the battles next week.
On the plus side... I am eating more fruit than ever before... I have maintained my weight since losing the 8lbs from being ill. And... on most occasions, I am controling those portion sizes. Breaking bad habits take time... I know. I just didn't think I'd be locked in such a ferocious battle with my inner child!! Damn if she ain't one stubburn, spoiled brat!!