02/13/2010 18:40
Listening to my body
It has been a very slow recovery since my health issues landed me in the ER last month. And I've lost 8 lbs in 4 weeks because of it. A very small part of me is happy about that; the majority of me is quite concerned with how I lost it. Being healthy is much more important than being thin.
I have some serious digestive issues that have limited what - and if - I can eat. It has been quite the learning experience for me too. This "thing" is quickly teaching me about portion control. If I overeat - I'm in pain. If I eat junk - I feel sick. I am learning that - since I can't eat a lot, I have to choose wisely - good, nutritional things to get the most out of the food. If I don't - the body suffers. To get healthy - I have to eat healthy. I have to give my body the proper nutrients and "tools" to beat this thing - and I have a limited amout I can feed it.
Where it gets tough is at work: I am a mindless nibbler... and a stress eater. And we just entered our busy season at work.
Most days I do really well at controlling things; mostly because if I slip up - I feel the pain soon afterwards. But my patience is wearing thin. I get frustrated that I can't go out for dinner with friends (it's really really hard to not eat everything they give you!! it's soooo good!). And I'm tired of all the bland foods I had to eat during the recovery. I'm bored to death with those foods right now! I want mexican! I want pizza! I want BBQ ribs!!!! Something loaded with flavor!!!!!
I haven't had a coke since Jan 17th - my beloved coke! is just sitting there, waiting patiently in my fridge!
but if I don't listen to my body... bad things will happen. I have to remind that evil voice in my head that says "you know you want it... just eat it...." that this isn't a game. This is serious. I need to get healthy. And I can survive just fine without eating All. That. Food. Enjoy it in moderation. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. It can be "just enough" to enjoy.