Boy ~ could I get used to life on the island (Cozumel) or what ... re-entry into reality ?... sucks ... where are the white, sandy beaches?? where's my coconut drink?? and of course... I got sick my first day back (so I'm home again today with a fever and deep, strange-sounding voice). Coincidence?!?!? I mean... it was 85 when I woke up on Sunday ~ and 25 degrees when I landed in Colorado 8 hrs later. That's just wrong...
and I had an epiphany of sorts while I had my butt planted in a beach chair... or hammock... or the other beach chair down the beach... as I watched these different body shapes and sizes walk around in swimsuits... there were quite a few people who seemed genuinely comfortable with their size... why can't I be like that?? Or even... why DO we put so much emphasize on being thin?? It takes the joy out of things when you're not comfortable in your own skin ~ and that's kinda sad. There were those who let it all hang out and were splashing around in the water and having fun; and there were those ~ like me ~ who sat around in shorts and tankini tops watching all of the activities around us. Those who are comfortable in their own skin; those who are not.
But that's not to say ~ I want to give up and stay my size... there are so many other reasons why I want to be a healthy size still... but I think on this trip I have adjusted my inner perception so that ~ I don't have to have flat abs to feel comfortable in a swimsuit; I just need to shrink the roll(s) that are currently there...
and speaking of inner perceptions: I've always had this perception of myself that "I'm not really that large" so at times I "forget" that I'm overweight. Like when I lost the 5 lbs before the trip, I thought I must be looking pretty trim. But then I saw a photo of myself on the trip and... uggghhh!! Reality really bites sometimes...
I think one of my friends long ago had it right: when her mom mentioned the same thing (that she thought she was thinner than she really was) and asked ~ what do you call that?? my friend answered: "Denial"...
So..? how's my motivation now that I'm back?? Because before I left ~ I had none... it mysteriously disappeared... but they say a picture speaks a 1000 words so... treadmill... here I come... (just as soon as I shake this chest cold)
Posted By: Ande
Comments to this post:
03/04/2008 12:38
yowza
Yeah I totally know what your saying. Sometimes I see people that are way fatter than me and I think,'man she's way bigger and i'm worrying about my weight? what the hell, i should just eat what I want cuz I ain't as fat as her'.
So I know how that goes exactly. I feel like I need to get out of the house more maybe that will make me lose weight, less temptation, more distractions. But then again there is not much to do in my town anyway except blow more money.
In regards to your response to my post, Yup I know what you saying about the portion size. Unfortunately I cannot stick with 2 beers. I end up binging at least once a week so this is why I need to cut it out completely. And pizza is always better when you can have 3 dripping slices.
You are so right - it IS all about perception. Long, long ago, when I weighed what you weigh now, I felt really big. If I were back at that weight now, I'd have an entirely different view on it. :-) What I wouldn't give to have the "I'm beautiful no matter what my size" mentality you witnessed in Mexico!
I really appreciate your comment. It's so much nicer to do this with support!
Hang in there, and keep doing what you're doing. I'm glad you had a good trip!
White sand beaches, drinks and hammocks sounds devine!!! I know what you mean about being at the beach. It opens your eyes because there are sooooo many body types there, no matter what beach your on, and there are plenty of very large people that could care less (or seem to care less) that they don't look good in a bathing suit, but that doesn't stop them.
Usually, at the beach, I enjoy myself swimming and walking, etc. but I usually wear a pair of shorts over my bathing suit to hide my imperfections. OH well, i'm hoping this summer I can throw away some of that insecurity and just be in my bathing suit with nothing to cover me up!
Glad you found your motivatin while on vactaion! a picture can tell 1000's words and really motivate you to lose those pounds. Plenty of pictures have told me to get off my lazy a$$ at move!! LOL
Mine has been slippery lately too. Hard to get a handle on it. Maybe I should go to Mexico! So need a vacation!!! So need it.
Glad it was wonderful fo you. And yes, body perceptions are a big problem. When I went to West Africa a few years ago, I was the ideal body type there. Here...not so much. I'm often wondering about the complex layers of my motivations to lose....health certainly. I know the negative body percpeptions get in there too.
Oh what would it be to be motivated to be healthieir and yet not let negative body percpetions hold you back from activities. That can be tricky for some of us.
Welcome back! Welcome back to your motivation! Hope your cold takes a plane back to Mexico and leaves you alone.
Sorry you are sick now, too!! I swear, something bad is going around all over the place. Its kind of scary. I hope you feel better soon!!! So you can get on the treadmill again!
I'll never ever feel 100% comfortable in my own skin. Some people just are, then theres the rest of us. I feel better than I did when I was 45 pounds heavier, but still not comfortable. Anyway. Sounds like you had a lot of time to ponder stuff while on that beach!
I mean... it was 85 when I woke up on Sunday ~ and 25 degrees when I landed in Colorado 8 hrs later. That's just wrong...