It's easier to herd cats

Undisciplined and a picky eater: May the Force be with me

My Profile

  • Name: Ande
  • City: Fort Collins
  • Region: Colorado
  • Country: United States

My Weight Loss

Height: 162.6cm
Start weight: 175.00lb
Current weight: 164.00lb
Goal weight: 135.00lb
Lost to date: 11.00lb
Remaining: 29.00lb

My Calendar

24
May '12
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My Photos

Before After

Being Content

I just read this article in Women's Health magazine ~ about how positive changes in your life can affect other areas of your life as well.  In particular, if you are disciplined enough to lose weight ~ you will also become disciplined enough to get yourself outta debt and vice versa.  And I realized ~ that's exactly what seems to be happening to me...
 
I have been making great strides in paying down my credit cards debt and it feels good.  Really good.  I'm proving to myself that I really CAN reverse the irresponsible spending habits of my youth.   I've noticed that I challenge myself more before making a purchase, and have walked away from many things that ~ previously ~ "I just had to have..."
 
I realized, that this philosophy of "just had to have"  is also present in my unhealthy eating habits, but I've noticed, that that is changing too.  And unconsciously for the most part.  I am starting to believe that I can also reverse my irresponsible eating habits as well.
 
Back in January ~ I became sick (again) ~ took a trip to the ER for my digestive "issues" ~ and have struggled to get back to eating normally for the past few months.  And it's been a wonderful learning experience in the process.  I learned that I can survive on much less food than what I was shoving in to my mouth.  I had no choice but to limit portion sizes, and now... I automatically monitor them.  I discovered that ~ it's ok to have your stomach growl ~ and that my body ~ if I listen to it ~ will tell me when and what to eat.  I no longer "have to have" that cookie.  And to test that ~ I made my favorite choc chip cookies a few weekends ago ~ and for once in my life thought:  there's too many.  Why didn't I just make 1/2 a batch?  I could have never imagined that such a thought would cross MY brain when it came to choc chip cookies!!!
 
I've also learned that ~ I can live without my precious coke.  Who would have thunk it?  We all have those things we insist on clinging to, and mine was Coke.  But in reality, it was just a script I ran in my head, to convince myself I "needed" the soda ~ when in fact there was no such "need".  My body DOES NOT NEED Coke to survive.  In fact ~ I feel better without it.  (but ~ I do have one from time to time since I truly do like the taste; but in the past 4 months, that has amounted to 4 cokes in total).
 
I also learned while being severly limited to what I could eat while recovering that ~ you have to make your choices count.  So... which is better?  the candy or the fruit?  And when you pick the smarter choice ~ your body starts to feel better.
 
The other week I paniced at work and ate junk food ~ reverting back to my old eating habits and you know what?  I felt gross as soon as I ate it.
 
The exciting news is ~ with these new-found realizations that I can change my evil ways ~ and that it feels pretty good in the process ~ that I've managed for two months now to keep off the 12 lbs I lost from being sick.  I'm still smiling that I'm wearing a smaller pant size.  It feels great and it's empowering me to continue making good choices.
 
Some would say you should not derive your happiness from the number showing on a scale ~ and to some extent I agree.  But I am happy because the number on the scale has not increased in over two months.  But I am still overweight.  And that's ok too.  As they say ~ we did not become overweight over night.  It is a slow process to lose weight but so worth the journey ~ because along the way ~ you may just discover cool things about yourself that are priceless.

Two things

I read somewhere that you only have to do two things in order to exercise.
 
1)  put on your shoes
 
2)  open the door and step outside
 
After that ~ it'll just happen 

Beautiful day

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... 50 degrees... nothing but sunshine...  so I grabbed my iPod and headed for the park.  And I could have walked around it all day long...
 
With all that life throws at you... there is nothing like the sun on your face, tunes in your ears, and lots -n-lots of fresh air to melt all your cares away...

Down a size and bittersweet

I've been in desperate need of new clothes lately - as the ones I have are pretty washed out/faded.  But I've been hesitating because I lost weight from being sick and figured I'd gain it all back.  But I haven't...  so...  I went shopping.
 
The happy news is - I bought a smaller size for my pants and feel really comfortable in them!  They are not tight around the waist so I'm not forcing myself into them...  and boy is that an ego boost!!  But... I got here from being sick and today - stepping on the scale - I may have lost a couple more pounds.  Not good because I didn't do anything to lose those pounds; which makes me wonder... what all is wrong with me (my health)??
 
So... bittersweet news.
 
But I'm not going to worry about that right this minute.  I have doc appt lined up for that.   Right now... I need to decide if I'm going to get my new pants hemmed or just start wearing heals...? 

Retraining the Inner Child

You know that negative little voice in your head that thrives on undermining your efforts??  giving you permission to eat whatever you want??  Convincing you... you "need" all that food??   I hate that bitch.  Where does she come from anyway?
 
This is one of our busy times at work;  translation: lots of stress to get alot done in a short period of time.  With lots of new "priorities" and fires popping up every day.  Technical problems keeping you from accomplishing tasks.  That sort of thing...  and why is it that ~ during such crunches at work ~ we "need" to eat lots and lots of bad-for-you foods??
 
I am still trying to recover from my latest health issue.  I can NOT afford to overeat or eat fast food or bad-for-you foods.  My system cannot physically digest it without some pain and suffering for days afterwards.  So... why did that evil voice insist on the McDouble hamburger?  Why did it insist on pizza??  I knew I'd be in pain and uncomfortable and guess what?  I was in pain and uncomfortable last week.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Well - actually I blame that evil inner child of mine.
 
If you could have heard the internal arguments I had with myself last week - you'd have thought me certifiably crazy.  "I need food!!"  "we just ate an hour ago!!  we're NOT hungry!"  "But I NEED candy!"  "No you don't!"  "Now I NEED pizza!!  lots of it too!!"  "NO.  YOU.  DON'T!!!"   but guess who won out in the end... and who suffered afterwards?
 
So.   While I won some battles last week with the evil inner child - they were small battles.  I went without the candy but had the pizza.  And the McDouble hamburger.  I am tempting fate and risking serious health issues with these bad choices.  So why is the evil inner child still getting her way??
 
I think most of her strength is fueled by fluctuating hormones.  TOM should be here soon.  So next week - I expect to win more ~ if not all ~ of the battles next week.
 
On the plus side... I am eating more fruit than ever before...  I have maintained my weight since losing the 8lbs from being ill.  And... on most occasions, I am controling those portion sizes.  Breaking bad habits take time... I know.  I just didn't think I'd be locked in such a ferocious battle with my inner child!!  Damn if she ain't one stubburn, spoiled brat!!

BL Boot Camp

At the beginning of this year - I purchased 3 new workout tapes:  all from the Biggest Loser show (which I've never watched).  I've tried and like the Weight Loss Yoga one...  that really kicks your butt too!!
 
but yesterday I tried the Boot Camp tape... and the jury is still out on that one.  All that jumping and bending did a number on my achy arthritic knees.  I had to cling to the railing and wall walking down the stairs this morning.   I think I need to do other things for awhile to get my knees in better shape before trying that again.  But - for the most part - it was an ok workout.  That Bob sure does like to make you sweat!   It was alittle fast for me - but I just did it at my own tempo.
 
Today is a beautiful day out so - it's time to grab the sneakers and head outdoors.

Listening to my body

It has been a very slow recovery since my health issues landed me in the ER last month.  And I've lost 8 lbs in 4 weeks because of it.  A very small part of me is happy about that; the majority of me is quite concerned with how I lost it.  Being healthy is much more important than being thin.
 
I have some serious digestive issues that have limited what - and if - I can eat.  It has been quite the learning experience for me too.  This "thing" is quickly teaching me about portion control.  If I overeat - I'm in pain.  If I eat junk - I feel sick.  I am learning that - since I can't eat a lot, I have to choose wisely - good, nutritional things to get the most out of the food.  If I don't - the body suffers.  To get healthy - I have to eat healthy.  I have to give my body the proper nutrients and "tools" to beat this thing - and I have a limited amout I can feed it.
 
Where it gets tough is at work:  I am a mindless nibbler... and a stress eater.  And we just entered our busy season at work.
 
Most days I do really well at controlling things; mostly because if I slip up - I feel the pain soon afterwards.  But my patience is wearing thin.  I get frustrated that I can't go out for dinner with friends (it's really really hard to not eat everything they give you!!  it's soooo good!).   And I'm tired of all the bland foods I had to eat during the recovery.  I'm bored to death with those foods right now!   I want mexican!  I want pizza!  I want BBQ ribs!!!!  Something loaded with flavor!!!!!
 
I haven't had a coke since Jan 17th - my beloved coke!  is just sitting there, waiting patiently in my fridge!
 
but if I don't listen to my body... bad things will happen.  I have to remind that evil voice in my head that says "you know you want it... just eat it...."   that this isn't a game.  This is serious.  I need to get healthy.  And I can survive just fine without eating All. That.  Food.   Enjoy it in moderation.  It doesn't have to be all or nothing.  It can be "just enough" to enjoy.
 
 

Inspiration board

I created alittle "inspiration" board that I put up in front of my treadmill.  It contains photos of my family and inspirational quotes to keep me going.
 
Today I have a new addition for my board:
 
"Each morning we are born again; what we do today is what matters most."  ~ Buddha

temporarily sidelined

how frustrating.
 
I spent most of yesterday in either Urgent Care or the ER ~ not how I wanted to spend my day.  So for this week anyway ~ I'm temporarily sidelined.
 
But I'm not going to beat myself up over this.  I've been making some progress and am still committed to doing better... as soon as I feel better!
 
the first week of January I managed to exercise 3 days and went one day without my beloved Coke.  And the scale said I lost half a pound ~ but I'm not sure it's because of anything I did....
 
last week I managed to go 5 days without my Coke!  but only exercised for one... I think that's due to my current condition, though... so I'll give myself a break on that one.
 
In the meantime, I can use this time to continue researching healthier ways to eat... find some healthy recipes to try... and read inspirational blogs.

EP New Posts keep crashing

I'm getting cranky.
 
E-V-E-R-Y time I do a new post - and use the scroll bars... the system crashes.
 
what's up with that???  I'm getting tired of recreating my posts! 

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