Do you ever feel like you are stretched too thin??! I'm thinking I'm near snapping point. I need to stay motivated and finish this semester strong because I'm tired of school and want to be done. But I also need to work full time. So stressed. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only able bodied person in the house. I do so much, and I'm not trying to brag but I just need to rant! I put my grandpa's needs before mine but it's gotten to a point where it's not needs but jsut more of a convience. Like, he doesn't need a milkshake from Culver"s, but I'm home and wants me to get one. Or I'm making cookies (while catching up on homework and wants me to bring one up to his bed when they're done) I don't know. I'm just...stressed. Majorly.
And then I'm wondering what ever happened to just dating?! Why does it seem like such a big deal these days and so hard to find a guy, even for just friends? I just found out that this guy I liked has a girlfriend...I'm just starting to wonder if I'm ever going to find someone.
well I finished week one of p90x. I'm pretty proud of myself. I skipped the yoga day because well....it's and hour and half LONG. I hardly have time to do the other work outs. So anyways, I can't say I did all week to a "t", but my mom said my upper arms/shoulders look like they have some definition! Yay!!
So a family that I babysit for (that I just LOVE! because we are so similar and their kids are fantastic) texted me last night and wanted to know if I wanted to watch the kids over night....in exchange for....drumroll.....17th row tickets to the TWINS!!!
do i even need to think about it?! that's the closest I will ever be...until I marry Joe Mauer that is. then well....that's an entirely different post. But you are all invited to the wedding :) A girl can dream....
So that's pretty exciting. Friday night to Saturday afternoon. I've babysat them before overnight and i gotta say. Best. Birth control. EVER!. playing single mom of 3.....
Well I need to go to the grocery store tomorrow and I'm a little bummed I'm not fully prepared for the week with the food.
Keep it up and soak up this beautiful warm weather we are having!! (if you're in MN 75*!)
Alright well I am on Day 3 of the p90x. My body is aching.
Last night I didn't want to do it because I got home from work and dinner with friends at 8:30, did some homework (not enough and paying for it today), watched Twins game. And all this time I was trying to figure out if I should do it or not.
So i did it. It was Plyos and my goodness. I didn't even finish. I burnt out with about 20 min to go and I wanted to go to bed.
Today I don't go to work unitl 1:15 which is GREAT! it finally gives me some time to get things done.
It's 10:20 am and it's already 50 degrees. It's going to be a good day. Now if only this paper would get magically written....
Anyone know how to get the sour milk smell out of a car. I think I must have spilt something before I went to Chicago and now everytime I get in it reeks! i put baking soda on it, so hopefully that helps....
Well, this morning at 4:30am, me and 3 of my friends from Minnesota piled into the Kia and headed back to Minnesota from Chicago. And as I'm sitting here, back in my house, getting ready for the work week again, a part of me misses Chicago. It was great to reconnect with some of my close friends and I was encouraged to apply to Bible camp in Alaska for the summer. So I did and I got accepted. It'll be great to be back there.
I also ran into a friend from the summer.
*sigh*
he's so great. solid christian amazing guy (insert any kind word here...) and we bumped into each other this weekend and it was great! He asked for my number and we're going to hang out when he comes to MN.
Maybe that's why I miss Chicago? haha!
Okay so Now that I am finally back I'm getting back on track.
I have a goal and I want to reach it before I get to Alaska! I want to look good...and not as wide/flabby ( I saw picture that my friend took and it was of my backside...it's one of those pictures were you realize I'm not the way I was 2 years ago....)
So I went to the grocery store. Got my p90x food ( hopefully I have enough because I'm supposed to eat like 2400 cal/day! We'll see how it goes.
Okay it's almost 10...i'm exhausted! Good luck this week and keep up the good work!
** Update ** Oh. My. Gurgjfuws!! I just took my "Before" Pictures. YUCK. YUCKY. BARF!
Alarm is set for 6:30. I am going running. This has gotten out of control.
So i felt like i needed to write tonight. I'm on my 4th night here and my friend whom I am staying with wanted to go the Universities gym to work out and I would have had to pay $10 to just go in, so I decided to take this time to walk to the local starbucks across the street to finish a paper for school (that is KILLING ME!). Being back in Chicago, I am reminded of how big an issue of homelessness is here. All around me are people struggling to make it through the day and stay warm, digging in trash cans for the little morsel of food that someone threw away. And it tears my heart.
This evening I decided to call home and see how my grandpa is doing. Well, he is hard of hearing and I felt like I was yelling into the phone at Starbucks, so I stepped outside to talk to him. I notice this lady come up and dig in the trash can by me while I was still talking to my grandpa, then she went across the street to dig some more. She was peering in the Starbucks window and my heart hurt even more. Here I was sitting with my second of the day cup of coffee of the day, on my new computer with the little technology gadgits around and all this lady wanted was some food.
And you know what I did....nothing. And I'm upset that I didn't do anything. I struggled with, do I go up to her and offer to by her a cup of coffee? What if she really isn't homeless and just collects things from trash cans. Lame Ass excuses is what those were!! DUMB. DUMB. DUMB. asjguhgasdfuikjg!!!!!!
And now this bible verse keeps running through my head. " For when I was hungry, you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited me in; naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me." (Matt 25:35)
I should have bought her a cup of coffee....
why is helping a stranger and showing Christ's love to a stranger so difficult sometimes?
Yup, so Friday morning I got on a bus to head down to Chicago to visit some friends from college and stay the week to celebrate one of my best friends 24th bday. This weekend my university was hosting an ultimate tournament and I wanted to go down and be there for that. Saturday it was freezing cold and extremely windy. Not ideal for ultimate frisbee. And since I was just a spectator, watching made me very cold. Sunday was maybe 5* warmer, about 35 and I got sunburnt!! haha.
It's so strange being back here. I have all this emotions that I'm trying to deal with and sort out. I never graduated from here and had to leave abruptly because of money things and grades. but it's been 2 years since I've been here. And all these past emotions are coming back and it doesn't seem real that I was once here and all the things happened. A friend from my class passed away last year, people are getting married and moving on and i only really know a select few.
I'm reminded of a past love but is now married (which is a blog entirely in it's self!!) with all that drama and that...girl. Still don't understand it and their relationship. But it was good to talk to old friends from college about it. I've moved on, but it's hard when friends tell you that that should have been me....I thought so too. So I really just wanted to share that. I don't know, I can't dwell on those times, just cherish them and be thankful for such a wonderful friend and like Adele says, "nevermind I"ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you."
The week is halfway over, whoo! And the temperature is supposed to warmer tomorrow. Life is good.
Can you guys pray for one of my campers from rural Alaska. She was in one of my first cabins and thanks to the wonderful internet, she found me on facebook and we reconnected recently. She now has 2 children (2 and 9mo.) and I just got this message from her. I need you guys to lift her up in prayer. Ugh it's so hard when you're thousands and thousands of miles away. I just want to go out with coffee and chat with her....but please pray for her. Her name is Felicia.
"was just wonderin what u were up too? Well for me, just wantin to give up on life...n if u are wondering why. U guess it, bf problems...n yea that is the reason why...i just dnt kno what to do anymore...i always wonder why am i still living? I just want to give up so badly, n it just hurts to live any longer...i just wanted to say that i am happy to have u as a friend and im glad u were there for me...i love and miss u!"
needless to say, I messages her back immediately. Should I go up to Alaska this summer again and work at bible camp. I miss it so and every time I watch "Flying Wild Alaska" on Discovery, I get emotional because I miss it so.
Tonight, once my pops goes to bed ( and I can shut the curtains....) I'm going to to p90x and this time stick with it. OKay? ok. Deal.
Well I am currently blogging to you guys from my brand new MacBook Pro! This is so exciting. I've never had anything "new" like this before. And I'm still learning how to get around. But I'm in love! I'm in Love! And I don't care who knows it! (is that from elf?)
That being said, time to get to the nitty gritty.
I've fallen off the wagon. Boo :( I haven't been doing p90x like I have wanted). I'm eating crap. But today really felt like spring and I finally feel like it is here to stay! Melt snow, melt! The mounds of snow are shrinking. When I get to an intersection, I can finally see if any cars are flying at me at 50mph and I don't have to semi-stand up in the car to see...or inch out to see around the mound and realize that I am now in the middle of the intersection and the coast isnt clear! haha.
But I want to get out and running. I got the new ipod touch as well so I need to get the playlist ready and do something tomorrow. Maybe run and p90x and then do Abs tomorrow night.
Okay, here is the plan. Go to bed....well now. haha
Tomorrow:
p90x (shoulders and arms)
go get my license.
work
youth group
p90x abs
okay yea, that's it. One step at a time. Right now, get ready for bed. YAY!
So here a new addition to what I am going to be doing.
Everyday I am going to journal
-My exercise for the day (p90x and walk to work, eventuall a morning run once the black ice melts) -Something Spiritual (praying to God more during the day, or reading my bible more) - Financial (something I did to help my finances) -Something good to help a stranger.
My brother and I had a great conversation tonight and we both agree that there are more aspects to having a "healthy life" and it's having these thing in sync. It's all a strive to a better wholesome life.
And because it's the Lenten season, I have decided to give up Drive-Thrus, Pop and fancy coffee drinks.
I look forward to this new beginning.
I'm going to leave you guys with a quote from my preschoolers today. Girl: I have a diary. Boy: I had diarrhea too! (then goes into a full length story, sparing no detail haha!)
This is going to be short because it's WAY past my bed time and i'm pooped.
Well I decided to stay the week nights at my parents and on weekends go back to my grandpas. My work in only 3 blocks away from my parents house and my grandpa lives about 15 min drive. If you don't live under a rock, you would notice that gas is outrageous! And I figured financially I need to be saving this money ( to pay off student loans) then putting in $50 for gas. So, here I am, back at my parents and my "old" room has been transformed into my younger brothers recording studio. This boy has got some great talent, but now my bed time apparently cuts into his prime time when he practices. It's when all his "magic" happens. So he is finished, it's 12:10am and my eyelids are heavy.
I don't have my comforter on my bed anymore...I bet my mom took it...that thief!
Brother and I did p90x today. He was hilarious and made me laugh too much and we didn't finish, but we are going to be doing it all week. Yay!
I started drinking this "Ultimate Shake" by Jillian Michaels and it's delicious. I know it's not a lifestyle change, but right now, in the business of life, it's doing just fine to fill me for breakfast.
oh and my car broke again. Its not starting right away when I try to start it. Considering it's nearing it's 200,xxx mark, It's too be expected but I can't keep dropping money down for something else to break. So when spring comes and the snow melt, I'm taking that bike down in the garage, fixing it up and it's going to be my mode of transportation.
I'm sick of cars and money.
Anyways, my scary side is about to come out, or like my preschoolers like to call it, "The Ani Monster" So I'm going to go to bed now so they don't have to experience the Ani Monster tomorrow....hopefully!
PS: Probably one of my top embarassing moments happened today. I was going to the Starbucks drive thru on my way to work and this drive thru is the kind that once you've gotten to the speaker, you're commited to wait until the end to get out. So I got the speaker, and realized before placing my order that I left my wallet at home. It was too late to back out because there were already 3 cars behind me and I couldn't escape. So I had to tell the lady that I"m an idiot and didn't look to see if I had my wallet with me. She laughed and the coffee was on the house. So embarassing....
