it's going to be ok

Don't have that much time to post, but I just wanted to come by and say I  am taking my life back in control. I am going to nephew's birthday today and then shopping for food. I will make a meal plan and stick to it these next couple of weeks. I really want to start losing again!!!

Friday blues!

Something is very wrong... I don't know what it is... but I have been sleeping alot lately and I haven't been able to get my assignments done. I mean even tonight I didn't do anything but hangout at work. I didn't even crack open my book. Is it low motivation? Is it an internal problem? I don't know but if it doesn't get fixef I'll have to go to the doctor. No time to write, but I maintained this week.

EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT

So yesterday, I was only focusing on all the bad stuff going on and I totally forgot to talk about this awesome experience I had in the Emergency Department at the hospital yesterday morning. For our class, we have to observe the ED for a day and write about it. I totally woke up late, but I arrived at the hospital at 6:30am and ready for the day. I was nervous though because I don’t think I would be able to work in a fast paced area in nursing, but it was an awesome experience.

Right from the start of the day they put me with this hottie murse! He was tall, blonde hair and blue eyes and a smile that could make any girl melt. Then I was put with this girl nurse who was awesome as well. I got to see an Endoscopy, Echo, Spinal Tap, my first drug addict! I saw a guy who cut his finger in half, a man whose eye was bleeding out, a dog bite on a small child, 2 little girls who drank Pine sol, etc. It was such an eye opener! I had a really good experience.

The drug addict was such a sad sight. My classmate and I went to triage to learn how they do things. A 33 year old girl came in and had all these scabs on her arm and face. She asked that we shut the door and she began telling us that she uses drugs and started to cry. She uses meth, crack and heroine. Her arm was totally infected! I really had a blast with the staff.

Anyway, I was able to sleep really good last night. I was able to rest which I haven’t done in a long time. I will be going to the gym tomorrow morning before work and starting to start one day at a time.

OP #?????

Please... I don't even know... I can't even lie about it.

I seriously almost died of sleep deprivation. This week I have studying my notes every waking minute! I seriously can say that I have never studied so much my life then this week. I ended up with a 94% on my teast this week, so it was totally worth it, but I feel like I'm going to flop over and sleep for days, which I can't do since I have to study for my next test.

I did go to the gym on Sunday and for an hour. I rented a video which was a really bad idea since I still have the movie in my car. I haven't gone to the gym since. I am so upset, but nothing I can do about that now. I also gained 2.4 this week which makes sense since I have basically ate fast foods. I haven't had time to cook at all this week and it totally put a damper in my eating habits.

I have to go back to basics and start with one day at a time.

OP #1: bUSY busy busy

I only had a couple of hours of sleep, but I am wide awake. I studied for a couple of hours yesterday and I finished two assignments. I also made my daily schedule for the week. I think this will help me stay on point with my school life. I really hate that I have so much school! But it's ok, I think I will do fine (hopefully!).

Anyway, I get off at 3pm and on to the gym I go. I will be working out for at least an hour. I think I can get some studying done while I'm there, maybe when I'm on the bike. I didn't wake up in time to make breakfast, but I got some good food for lunch and some snacks.

Taking a rest

So I didn't work yesterday and I didn't work today so I'm taking a rest. I really want to get my head straight for the upcoming week. I have made a plan to study every night for the next 6 days for about 2 hours. I want to understand the material and do well. I need to do well. I have had the time to think, pray and organize. I made my schedule for the day and tonight I will make my schedule for tomorrow. I worked out this morning, which was nice. I will be working from 7am-3pm tomorrow and then I will go to the gym after work. I will then study for the rest of the night. I have a plan and going to stick to it!!

My weight is ok. I am really going to try this week to do well. I need to stick to my plan!

not on point!

I haven't been on point for the past two days. I haven't been eating all my points, didn't exercise, and haven't been sleeping enough. I want to cry actually, but I won't. I just need to pray and ask for help. I have been so stressed out with homework, assignments, clinicals, being asked questions from professors, work, family, and blah! I haven't been doing weel at all.

I was doing such a great job, but now I have to start again tomorrow with being OP. I have to really get my schedule together. I need to study hardcore because I failed my test today... and then I took a quiz and I failed that too. I shouldn 't have taken it after seeing my grade because I think it made me upset and I wan't able to understand the questions you know?

BUT!!! No more complaining. I will be putting my schedule to plan! I will be eating my points, I will be exercising, I will be studying. I don't work tomorrow or Saturday, so I think I will be able to catch up. Please keep me in your prayers and help me not fail!!!

op #7: orientation day

Well, today was kind of crazy. I was so busy and I was totally not liking it. I really wanted to get my work done, but it was hard because the phone was ringing off the hook. I was moving around all day and I couldn't get any sleep done. At least I will be by myself tomorrow for a couple of hour before everyone gets here. I just want to have all my stuff done for Wednesday since I won't be there until late.

I didn't go to the gym this morning because I stayed up till 1am last night talking with C. She had a blast in Seward and kind of getting out A. She told me that A was mad because C is still my friend, best friend actually. A was talking crap about me and C was defending me. HA! A was pissed.

I get off work today at 11pm and I am definitely going to go home and fall asleep. I have a huge day ahead of me tomorrow. I have to work till 3pm, have a lab from 3-5pm, preclinicals from 5pm-7pm and then do lots and lots of paperwork to have ready first thing Wednesday morning. It will be nerve wrecking so I want to be seriously prepared!

Anyway, I am doing well. I just need to call my mommy so I can get some money for laundry. I need to desperately have some clean clothes. Anyways, until next time.

OP #6: Sunday Blues

Hey everyone! It's been quite a day. So last night I planned on going to the movie thing on campus, but ended up not going. I got into a fight with my sister and I didn't want to deal with it bascially. So I went home instead to finish my research paper. I actually finished it today, so I'm happy about that. 

When I woke up I got all my stuff together and went to the gym. I only did 30mins today. I was really beat. All I could think of was my paper. So I went straight to the commons to finish my paper before I came to work. So it’s all done but I still need to read over it a couple of times and edit it before I turn it in tonight.

I’m OP and feeling great! Just concentrating on getting this weight off. I want it so bad! That's why I have the blues. It's all on my mind today. I hope that I see a good loss this week. I'm working out a lot and eating my points so hopefully I will see something I like this week. 

OP #5: Chillaxin

I went to the gym! I woke up later than I wanted to, but I got my butt out of bed and went straight to the gym. I did 30mins on the elliptical and 30mins on the bike. I really do enjoy going to the gym. I always feel better after I know I worked my legs hard. I am making a plan to go to the gym right after I go to work. I work tomorrow from 7am to 3pm. I will go to the gym from 3:30pm to 5pm. After the gym, I’ll go home and make dinner and finish my homework.

I need to clean my house. I haven’t cleaned my house in forever and now that A left with the damn dog, I want to clean it from top to bottom. I just need to make sure that gives me enough time to do my homework. I am so stressed out it’s not even funny. I think I make myself crazier by thinking about it. I just really can’t stop thinking about school. I wish I knew how to deal with stress.

I’m doing really well. I am so OP, eating all my points, and exercising. I need to keep this up. I find that doing all of this really calms me down a little bit you know?

Anyway, so I’ve started journaling my meal plans on BCB with a couple of the other girls. It really helps me keep track of my points and earned AP’s. I like blogging too. It’s kind of funny actually because I can spend a lot of my time just chillaxin on the computer browsing and stuff.

Last night, I went home and was all by myself. It was so nice to do whatever I want. I can’t wait until I live by myself and only worry about my messes. I don’t make messes actually and I always end up cleaning everyone else’s mess. At least I know I’m not dirty.