Slacker

I am a slacker when it comes to blogging. This is the second one I have started and abandoned.  Anyway, the eating situation just sucks. Emma has been sick and when she is sick life just sucks for everyone. She wants to just sit around and watch TV (who doesn't) wants to be rocked to sleep and sleep in our bed. Yesterday eating was a box of cheez-its and then all hell broke loose when Emma finally went to sleep for a few hours. I ate my JC lemon cake, a peanut butter sandwich and more cheez-its. UGH! I am back on track today though. Emma is feeling a bit better, less clingy. I am so made at myslef though. I made such great progess last week and although I know that I didn't gain back 2 lbs yesterday, the scale is going so show little or no loss to a little gain. Not looking forward to it. Well, it is a new day...just keep swimming

not too bad

well,

after my horrible week, I only gained .5. and I just got my period and i had a training session last night. i am expecting my weight to go up a bit because of the weight lifting. it is a great workout. i flet SO good afterwards, like i could do anything! tomorrow is back on track for me...six solid days!

i have been wondering if weaing off of wellbutrin is causing me to be really hungry. i never noticed that i was so hungry until i started taking a lower dose. it is important for me to get off of it now for when i want to get pregnant. which reminds me, i haven't taken my vitamins yet today.

having a hard time

i am having an extremely hard go of it this week.i had a major binge last night and i am feeling really low and down about it. i haven't exercised since sunday. i do have a training session on thursday, thank God. i am hoping to get my ass in gear and get on the treadmill tonight.  my period is due anyday and i wish it would come so the water weight and the munchies would go away.

good weigh-in

so yesterday I was down the weight I gained last week, so back to 157.3. It was good except for that JC consultant trying to sell me exercise equipment. I HATE THAT! Isn't it enought that I spend a ton of money in there on food? For some reason she was surprised that I already had a balance ball, resistence bands, and free weights in my possession. As well as sculpting stick and steps. Doesn't everyone who has a weight problem have a ton of exercise equipment and exercise videos collecting dust? LOL!

Anyway, Marc and I went out to dinner last night and I splurged because we rarely get a babysitter to get some time alone. It was nice. I forgave myself even before we left the house.

Today I was right back on track, ate everything, measured my salad dressing. Walked on the treadmill for 40 mins.

Yesterday it was so nice, Emma and I went for a 3 mile walk. I can't wait for the really nice weather so we can go every morning like we did last summer/fall.

Lookinf forward to a great week. Training on Thursday and Saturday this week. I bought 10 sessions, just to see what it will do for me. If I like the results I will buy more. I already like going. I love being pushed. If I was lifting on my own I would never choose the weight as high as the trainer does, nor would I do those last reps that burn. I feel great after leaving there.

wednesday...

Marc's uncle died so I had to reschedule my training session until Thursday, so bummed out about it, I was really looking forward to it. exercise has been going well. friday did weights and elliptical, sat,sun,mon and tues walked on treadmill from 25-45 mins depending on the day. today I think I will take off since I am going to do the weights again tomorrow and a little cardio.

I think I have been doing ok with my eating although the scale (which I am NOT supposed to be getting on) isn't showing it. My normal consultant is on vacation so I have to meet with a witch. okay, she really isn't a witch but she is a lot more picky about my weight loss. which is good, but she makes me feel like i am a loser and she herself can stand to lose 50 lbs. I have been going there since June and she doesn't look any smaller. that is one thing that really bugs me about JC. fat people telling me how to eat when they themselves are not on program or not doing the program to the letter, kwim?

i know that i shouldn't let her make me feel bad because i had many non-scale victories this week. 1) i have already exercised more this week than i have in the past 2) i started measuring things like salad dressing and fat free half and half for my coffee 3) i stopped drinking cinnamon dolce lattes at starbucks 4) i ran on the treadmill for 3.5 minutes, up from only 1 minute last week

i am due for my period next wed so i know that if i do lose anything this week it might be miniscule and that woman will make me feel bad. thank God my normal girl will be back next week.

new week

I did pretty well this weekend. exercised both sat and sun. ate pretty well. hoping the scale shows a HUGE improvement this week. I am trying to stay away from my scale until friday. I always beat myself up if it is higher one day than the next and I KNOW that it is normal fluctuation of bodily fluids but it is frustrating. I should give up the scale for LENT. heheehe.

better tonight

well, after a disappointing weigh-in and some nice comments from people who read (Steph..THANKS!) I am feeling better this evening. I stayed on plan all day and had my first personal training session. I loved it. All I had to do was exercise. The trainer handed me all the equipment, counted for me and wrote down my progress. This first one was free and I have a second free one on Tuesday. The problem is the cost. I am not sure DH and I can afford it. DH told me to go on Tuesday give it another try and see then.

See I have a bad history of not following through on things I start. But if I have an actual appointment and I am expected, I will go.Just like JC. There are some weeks I just don't want to go but I do because I have the appointment.KWIM?

Anyway we shall see what the weekend brings.

WTF?

ok, I know I didn't have a great week but almost a 2 lb gain? I don't think so. I am so irritated with myself. WHY can't I lose this weight? What is stopping me? Why can't I stop eating? Am I scared to get pregnant again and because I won't until I weigh 135 I am stalling? Having another baby is all up to me. If I want to we will, if I don't we won't. Marc supports my decision one way or another. Some days I really want another and other days I just can't imagine having 2 kids. Emma is SO much work and she is EASY compared to most kids. Am I that LAZY that I don't want to do the work to bring up another child? It isn't fair to Emma not to have a sibling.

Well regardless of my feelings on having another baby, I NEED to get this weight off. I should be at my goal weight. I am not, I am 24 pounds away. I can do it. I can lose this weight in three months. Tonight I start with the trainer. Please God let this motivate me. I am going to walk on the treadmill now.

so far, so good

it is 3:10pm. I have done very well all day, but getting into my snacking hour. I have had cereal and milk for breakfast, one coffee with a bit of cream, 1/2c. fat free, sugar free butterscotch pudding with sugar free whipped cream. Salad with lo fat dressing and lean cuisine for lunch. nothing since then. I am gonna break out an applesauce as soon as I begin Emma's dinner.

Emma and I went to playgroup for 2 hours this morning, which helped me out. When I am out and about I do not eat. here's to making it through the rest of the night with an applesauce, a salad with NO fat dressing, JC dinner (probably chicken fetteccine) and JC dessert (probably chocolate cake). Lots of water.

I did terrible on my exercise this week. Tuesday was bad because Emma was so sick. Yesterday she didn't sleep at all. 45 minutes for a nap and didn't go to bed until 9:15pm. VERY late for her. and she wanted me not Marc. I might get one the treadmill tonight, but it seems a lost cause for this week. Tomorrow I start with the personal trainer. Cross your fingers it isn't too expensive!

resistance

ok, I resisted temptation. I went to Starbucks and only got a tall non-fat latte. Ok to do on JC as it counts as 1 1/2 milk servings. I get 2 milks a day. The last two weeks I had been getting the Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Non-fat, but they do not have sugar free cinnamon syrup which means that every time I had one it was adding about 100 calories a day to my diet.  I love those darn dolces! I am proud of myself.

Now to just get through the day with no cookies, chips, etc.!