Yo Yo dieter lol xx

Well I know I've been yo-yo dieting for bloody years weight wise but at the minute its the type of diet I'm messing about with lol!!.....Right from tomorrow....Slimming World Red days only for a week....Gonna go join a meeting tomorrow night (possibly lol) but def def def gonna focus this time!!

I know its stupid but since I've done my commandments they genuienly do make me feel better reading over them every day!! Silly huh but who cares if it works hey!!

xx

Going with

Hi there...Right have decided to give the low carb thing a go....Not rediculously low like atkins or owt but just try and make sure I'm eating more protein than I am carbs

Going ok so far so we'll have to see...Would be nice to have a positive result on the scale next week cos I know it'll be a gain this week.....Feel like a bloody walrus! Lol!!

Well ladies, you are never going to believe this because I know its so unusal (please note if you could hear me you'd be detecting an awful lot of sarcasm right now! lol) but I met a man at the wend and and guess what? I'm now pretty sure He's a dick lol!! well I've actually known him for about a year but he's been in kosovo (squaddie! ...i know i know..... ) so I haven't seen him. Anyways, seen him out on sat nite which is about the third time I've seen him in the last month.....So he's yadda yaddering about how much he's been missing me, blah blah...and I'm like enjoying the complement but have my sensible 'yeah right mr lookin-for-a-fuck-Courtney'. Honestly some of it, had it been true, was just so  sweet....propa chick flick shit!

So I'm still playin it cool and enjoyin my nite with my girlfriends when the A**hole who attacked me last year appears at the bar.....He's supposed to still be in Germany but is back over here because he's being investigated by the army for doing the same thing to a girl over there. Ugh!!, can't tell you how bad I feel about not reporting what happened to me because I will cry but I know my reasons why I didn't and have to stick by them....Basically it happened in my home and I figured there was a chance no-one would believe me and he'd then only have a reason to come back and do it again and obviously with kids in the house I can't take that risk plus he was going abroad for 3 years so just got myself through the time till he went, with massive help from my friends obviously.

So he's back!! I freak out completely and this guy is just there for me. He literally spent his whole night (along with my friend) liasing with the security staff to get rid of this guy and then stayed with me all nite incase he chanded clothes and came back....Oh it was such a relief having him there!! I know men are idiots and its my friends I'd turn to not a man, but god doesn't it make a difference having a strong man hold ya when ya shakin......

So he sticks around all the following day, just lounging in front of most haunted eating cheesy chips with me and my mate and I feel so safe with him...Its really pathetic I know but its a lonely world for us singletons always having to fight for ourselves.

Then when my mates gone, we kiss.... one thing leads to another and I guess because I felt like he was my knight in shining armour I let him take me to bed....EW!! So rough (which I was extremely pissed off about considering), so yuck....but he was lovely again afterwards. Stays for anothe rhour or so then goes cos my kiddies r coming back....lovely lovely at the door, says he'll txt me today, he's gonna miss me rah rah....and today nothing!!!! Zip!!

I'm only pissed off cos he knows how I feel about one time things but I felt he was someone I could trust and did just get swept up in the lookin after me thing....Seriously, I am awful with men!!! lol!! I will subconsciously knock the nice guy in the room over to get to the pricks behind him!!

So honestly (not quite sure why I'm sharing this with you all cos its naff all to do with weight-...well a little about exercise I guess lol) I totally think I'm gonna knock this whole sex lark on the head......I just don't enjoy it anymore at all....It just makes me feel dirty and cheap and nasty and I just can't be ar*sed with dredging up old feelings.....All I want is someone to look after me...fight my corner and protect me.....Not thrust away on top of me, spunk on my stomach and sweat up my bed sheets and the like...ugh...would much rather have some quality time with my rabbit followed by a good book lol

So, if anybody out there knows of a big strapping soft hearted lad who wants free room and board you just send him my way ok.......

One amusing part of yesterday was when Chris was in my kitchen and saw my fatty photo of me on the cupboard (the one in my gallery) and asked why I'd got a pic of me of when I was pregnant on my kitchen cupboard   lol......was funny saying oh know I was just fat and havin that on my cupboard stops me grabbing the snacks inside lol.....Maybe thats why he's not called lol....xx

Anyways, thanks for letting me rant....its made me feel better even if it has bored u stupid...Won't be offended if u decide to skip my 'story-telling' blogs in future lol!

Off to go and cook a high protein-low carb tea.......Can you believe alcohol has carbs in....Clearly I am not throwing that away!! lol.....pasta's one thing but drinks another lol

Talk soon

xx

Atkins yes or no?

Hi guys, hope your all ok...Am contemplating giving Atkins a go.....Anybody got any advice either way? And anybody who's on it....Do you know if you can eat quorn? as in veggy equivalent to beef....I bloody love the stuff!!

xx

Big Miss Flab-A-Lot

God thats just exactly what I feel like today!!! Obviously its because I've over eaten and not exercised as much but ugh!....Feel like I've gained at least twelve stone!!

:o(

xx

Why is it...?

Why is it that when I actually get to the point when I want to go to the gym something happens so that I can't go?!!!!

Yesterday my daughter was poorly, today new tellys being delivered!!! Duh!! Now I'm going to be forced... forced I say to sit in front of it watching my favourite programmes in HD 42" quality all evening....Its a hard life hey lol

xx

;o) / :o( xx

Hi there how is everyone today?

I'm attempting to be all positive about dieting, sorry my 'healthy lifestyle change' lol, but isn't it just exhausting lol

Have set myself a new goal of 1670cals a day which according to that calculator thingy should mean that I lose 1lb a wk which would be just fine with me but really would much rather just not have to think about it lol

Wish there was a magic pill that you took at the end of the day and it made all the excess calories just melt away into fairy dust....hey a girl can dream can't she lol

So I had a big binge last nite on choc. Trying not to feel bad about it now cos it was the last of my easter choc and I just could not possibly have thrown these away....Milky Bar Moments...OMG!!!! They are yum!! They're like minstrels but with white choc and a white shell for anyone who's not tried them....I begrudgingly let the kids have 5 each...No kidding sweat was pouring off my fore head as I was doing it lol...Then they ate them really quick.......The bloody cheek of it......You don't shove pure heaven in ya mouth like that!!! lol

Even with my binge my total calorie intake was 2300 plus I burned off 180kcals walking kids to school so really I'm fine....plus I have enough flab there already to hide any new arrival lol

Well off to cook lunch then off to work...Oh the joy of it all lol

Have a grt day everyone

xx

UGH!!!!......xx

Hey girls how's u?

Don't be decieved by the title I'm fine ......just ugh!/Blah!

I gained a pound which while is a bummer is realisticly far less than I could have gained over easter...plus I ate out twice over the wend so really its fine but I'm still just a little pissed!

I think I'm having an equivalent to a three years old temper tantrum lol Bless me!....I guess what I want to say is (while stamping my feet and screaming for dramatic effect lol) but I like IT!!!!!! lol....All the 'gd for u' stuff is yucky!!!! I want to eat chocolate and crisps all day long and have a flat tummy and I want it now!! LOL xx

If only hey! Off to check up on how everyone else is doing now

Have a great day and talk soon

xx

Learning so much

Hey there How is everyone today?

Can I just say once again how fab I think this site is.,.....Its so inspiring reading everyone blogs and pinching some of their ideas.

Not got time to stop and chat today, me and kiddies are gonna tuck up in my bed and watch a film...lush!!

Take care and talk soon xx

Getting sorted xx

Hey girls. How is everyone today?

Well I am really really nervous about weigh in on Tuesday!! I think its because I am completely happy with everything that I am eating/drinking at the moment and would like to carry on doing it lol. Seriously I don't feel that I'm not allowing myself to have stuff and would actually love to continue like this even if it means only losing say half a pound a week but continuously doing that.

The good news is that since I've been thrown off F.I.T I can now go back to weighing on the scales at my gym which are more accurate.

Speaking of F.I.T MM I think you've made the right choice re concentrating on spending more time with your family and dealing with what matters....Its just a shame and makes me sad that you didn't feel I had the same right but hey ho....If ya reading this loads of luck xx

So heres the revised/organised commandments. Reck I'm gonna copy C6's idea again (sorry!) and get a copy laminated to carry around with me. Its really stupid but I can't tell you how good I feel deciding all of this...  

1. Take pride in myself and my appearance

2. Tell my children how proud they make me everyday

3. Surround myself with people who care and loose the idiots who pretend too

4. Go to bed every night, looking back on the day knowing I was agood mum that day

5. Stand up, make the right decisions and then stick to them

6. Ensure I have a good book in the house at all times

7. Don't waste time and energy trying to get peoples approval-If they loved and cared about me they'd have my back whatever

8. Solve my own problems before those of others

9. Don't let the past bog me down

10. Accept what I can change and what I can't

11. Listen to my son read every day. Have special time with my daughter every day

12.  Take pride in my career

13. Remember I'm only me......... but that just being me is wonderful

14. Allow myself time to grieve when I feel the need but then  move on

15. Remember something that made me smile at least once a day

16. Remember it is good to have dreams and even better to fight to achieve them

Right off to have breakfast now!

Hey forgot to say I threw away my easter egg my sister brought me....I know, I know its an absolute sin to throw choc away and may I be struck down for doing so but I ate what i wanted to and then discarded the rest instead of eating it and then feeling Sh*t about it.

Have a fab day ladies

xx

My commandments

Hey there, hope your all having a gd day whatever your up too

Well I'm gonna do a bit of blog steling and take inspiration from a friend and set myself rules to live by....Don't u guys reck thats a fab idea and with everything that goes on I think it will be wonderful to have something to refer too...Any hints and ideas will be much appreciated

Hum ok number 1

** Remember something that made me smile at least once a day

** Take pride in myself and appearance

** Take pride in my career

** Don't waste time trying to get peoples approval-if they love and care about me they'll support me whatever

** Surround myself with people who care and loose the idiots

** Listen to my son read every day

** Solve my own problems before those of others

** Remember I'm only me...but that thats wonderful because I am unique

** Allow myself time to grieve when I feel I need to but then move on

** Remember it is good to have dreams and even better to fight to achieve them

** Don't let the past bog me down

** Accept what  I can change and do it

** Be a gd mum

God I could go on for hours.....Think i'll have to ponder on a few more and then sort them into some kind of order

I guess the idea is that if I can organise my self/life I can finally release the hold food has on me and allow the skinny girl out of her blubber closet lol

Laters peeps, Loves ya xx