Why is it when you finally think that just possibly your starting to get your life under control 'Mr Not-at-all Perfect' puts in a reappearance?!
I've been so good and so strong ladies, and the bastard still gets to me!!
I am thoroughly ashamed to say that I have spent the last couple of months ending a relationship with an engaged man. Please don't stop reading immediately because I fully understand what a horrible horrible trog I am and ended it the minute I met her. He, on the other hand, did not want to. I've changed my moby number and completely changed my routine so that I can avoid seeing him. I can't bear it when I do because it is just so painful (which absolutley I know I deserve)
We have a history together and I think thats why it finally happened and really its something that had to happen but unfortunately we have hurt people along the way.
Having ended it and changed my numbver for the third time, he managed to get hold of it through a mutual friend who was fully aware of the situation and shouldn't have given it out but did. So anyways, he txts and calls constantly sun nite. I ignore a dirty txt he sends me because I know it is wrong. It was very explicit and unfortunately his fiance found it later that evening!!!!
Cannot even tell you how awful I feel and again I know it serves me right but I am only human people. I have fucked up big style but so you know and although it is absolutely no excuse I do care very deeply for him.
They're working things out and bless her she's sticking with him. We've said nothing has happened and that is what I will always maintain. He has blamed the txt on the drink and will hopefully now cut all ties with me.
If I could turn back time believe me I would but this feeling at the moment is awful!!
Not only have I let a fellow woman down, I've let myself down and lost a friend in him.
Not that the following even really matters in the scheme of things but how have I coped with this? I've eaten and drunk my way through it. I'm now a fatter, lonelier blob than I was last week and I only have myself to blame.
Again ladies, please learn from my misteakes and continue to be the beautiful people that you are and not a scheming, man stealing cow that I have been
Take care and hope your having a better one
xx
Posted By: Amie xx
Comments to this post:
03/11/2008 12:20
aww hon
You are sorry, that is what matters. We all do things that are wrong, what is important is we stop it and are sorry.
I don't know how I feel about lying to the fiancee, I suppose it isn't your call. I would not want to marry a man who would lie to keep me.
Anyway...you have moved on, that is the important thing.
What's past is past and going forward, you are choosing to take the high road. Although I know it's a bad situation all around, maybe it's not as bad as you think. Here's why: At least the fiance knows what kind of cheater she's engaged to. She's not going into a marriage with him blind.
You did the right think in ignoring his texts and calls, and you can feel good about that. Give yourself a break, and go for a long walk or take a bubble bath - something to perk you up a little. Hang in there and keep being strong.
As long as you stay away from him you are not letting yourself down. We all make our mistakes. I have made some that would make you blush. We learn and we move on from there. It's the only thing we can do. (((HUGS)))
Now put all that energy into a nice fast paced walk. Find a punching bag and picture his face. Take a soccer ball and kick it against a wall. Work out your frustrations through steam and mean. I am the worst comfort eater and when I find myself doing that I get up from the table, put down the bag of sweets and find something to exert my energy against.
It is hard for me to understand. I have tried to understand the "other woman" side of the coin. But about 4 years ago my husband had an affair with a woman that KNEW we were married. And she said, as you did, that she had strong feeling for him. It is so hard for me to grasp how that could happen. Please do not think that I am judging you. I just know the pain that I went through (and still go through) because of this. You MUST know that you deserve a man that you do not have to share. I know that you probly love him but trust me...he is not the man for you.
I truely hope that things start to go better for you in regards to this...and I am not mad at you and I am not judging you. Just because I do not understand it does not mean that I dont care.
I think you've taken an important step in the healing process. You've admitted the situation, feel remorse, and are taking steps to improve it. I've been on both sides of the situation (though neither involved marriage, and I wasn't aware he was seeing someone else, and apparently, neither was the woman who did it to me). It hurts, and you go through a lot of emotions. She needs to choose whether to stay or to go, but the fact that you're leaving them be, is huge. Be proud of yourself for that. Keep moving forward and don't look back on this one. I always feel what's really important is that people learn from their mistakes/situations, as that is the only way to improve oneself. Good luck.
