I didn't exercise yesterday or this morning. But I can actually feel like I want to. Tonight I shout be skating for about an hour. I found bunch of 10 minute work out videos on Hulu. No reason why not to do 8 minutes a day. I am becoming a person who EXERCISES.
I ate a lot of fruit on Saturday and Sunday. I made the best choices I could, but still. Not supposed to have more than two servings a day. A cookie yesterday was the first treat I've had in a couple of days and after eating it I was dizzy. I'm finding that I don't think abut sweets as often as I did before. Almost like I know I can have anything I want makes me not want it? Doesn't mean I will stop having some every now and then.
Plan for this week:
#1
Pumpkin fiber 1 pancakes with almonds (5)
#2
rice cakes-3
PB-1
sugar free raspberry spread (0)
#3
Unstuffed Cabbage (3)
Broccoli(0)
Crackers (2)
#4
Pinapple-1
Almonds-3
#4
Cottage cheese-2
Yogurt-2
Hot chocolate-1
Then #5 is flexable after that.
By the way I read Twilight last night and it is the cutest book in the world. I think even if vampires weren't my secret obsession I would like it. I think my hubby might surprise me with more of the series.
I'm really not creative enough to find individual names for each of my posts. Yeah, I know, why can everyone else do it but me?
I read a post on the Escape from Obesity Blog and I really feel for the girl. I mean she is facing gaining all the weight back, which is totally what I did and am sorta doing now. I mean I'm not in this 100% yet. I eat well, but I don't exercise. I mean I'm not becoming a person who eats right and exercises. I'm just a chubby chick who loves to drown her sorrows in food who is pretending to eat healthy. I figure if I pretend enough, maybe some day I will believe it myself? Oh well, the fact is that I need to pretend to exercise, more then the skating practices anyway.
Went to my last foot doctor appointment today. Got another acid treatment, now I'm limping around the house. Yay for 3 flights of stair to get in! This makes exercise difficult, but there is no reason that I can't do the 8 minute ab video, which is all floor work. (I keep saying that anyway...)
Yesterday I stuck to the plan, augmented meal #5 with rice cakes and apple butter (I LOVE apple butter!). My dinner was some raw tuna with lettuce, and a tiny bit of udon noodles (approx 1/3 c). My treat was an alcoholic drink.
Today's plan was the same as yesterday except for having a SB protein bar insted of the rice cakes for meal #5. Also hubby and I went out for hot pot for dinner. I had spicy soup broth with boc choy, tofu, mushrooms and a little bit of very very thin sliced beef. For treat, I had like 2/3 a slice of cheesecake, hubbie had the other portion.
I figured I burned more calories then I ate with the hot pot because hubby and I got spicy broth, which is very spicy. I had to do the spicy dance everytime I had another bite. Add that to spicy foods apparently speed up your metabolism, so I figure that I lost like 0.4 pounds right there!
Tomorrow I have a meeting for the resturants. I figure I will bring meal 2 and 4 in my purse probably a SB protein bar as well (part of meal #5) . They give you a fantastic lunch, which I will have to try and make the majority salad/veggies and have a bit of meat. They also usualy have pretty good desserts, so if I have one that will be my treat for the day.
I'm very upbeat today. Not sure if it is because the St. John's Wort is kicking in or not. Maybe it is just because I had a great night with Hubby tonight. Or maybe it is because I watched a little Vampire Knight tonight. Lots of maybes...
Okay, so I haven't been good with my posting. Which means, you guessed it! I've been binging again. On stupid things too, crackers, cheese, bread....
I ate a whole loaf of bread this weekend! All be it, I didn't eat much else...but that is not the healthy way to eat! Plus I have just as many carby things in my plan as anything else. There is no reason to go off plan. I need to do this for me.
I roller skated last night for an hour and am a little sore today. I need to start doing my 8 minute ab tape, so at least I have SOME exercise in.
Foot doctor on Wednesday, which will be my last appointment because I got the job! As such I need to wait until my new health insurance kicks in and then I probably wont go back because of the drive. If my feet still bother me, then I will find another one closer to home. With Saturday hours. I have very little sick time with this job so I need to start scheduling everything on saturdays.
I'm soo hungry today. Also my period is suposed to start, I'm getting cramps and very slight spotting. This is a little weird and could be cysts popping. I need to keep an eye on it and make sure I really have a period, if not then I need to get new meds.
So, I had a post all written, then we had an emergency FDA call, and guess what? Yeah, post vanished. So I'll try again.
I posted previously on my goals, which I think should be motivating enough but I don't feel motivated. I don't wake up in the morning thinking, yay! I'm going to go eat healthy today! Most of them time my first thought is...how many time have a hit the snooze and how many more can I get away with?
So I took a little course on Personal Motivation today at work, which was pretty boring for the most part. However, there were three reasons why people get motivated and I thought those were pretty interesting.
Three reasons for motivation:
1. Acheivement: This makes sense. Last time I did WW the more weight I lost the more motivated I became. It was only after I hit a spot where I was maintaining that I lost motivation. However, this time it shouldn't be an issue because I am focusing on being healthy and not losing weight.
2. Affiliation: This was explained in the course as perhaps being either competitive with someone else or becoming more friendly with someone. I'm not really sure how this applies. I mean I'm not on The Biggest Loser here. Maybe I can say that I'm doing this to be healthier than my parents? But I'm not even sure that is in the relm of possibility because I am so sick even without the weight....Maybe I need to make "healthy lifestyle" friends?
3. Power: In the couse they explained this as someone working hard to become manager so they can have power over others. I'm thinking that maybe by being healthy I can have power over my risk factors. How does that sound? I have power and control over what I put into my body, which I didn't feel like I had before.
Well, another day another binge. Last night it was 2 mini cheesecakes, so I counted one as meal #5.
Today I have to call and see if I got the new job! I also am going to cancel my nutritionist appointment. Its the last one I can have free this year and I think it would be more useful later in the year. I have a bunch of good information from her that I haven't even begun to use yet.
Other news, I'm down 3 pounds! from 214 to 211 this morning. I need to not focus on weight and I had to talk with my husband about this again last night. He just doesn't get it.
Well, pain today is off the charts. I've added St. John's Wart to my pill routine in order to help my mood swings. I feel awful about the way my mood just switches sometimes, hopefully it will help.
Yesterday I found mini cheesecakes at the store. Yumm-o! I ate three instead of one though. So I subbed one for meal number 5, and one for meal number 6 as well as one for planned treat. I need to be better at not binging, but at least it is within points this time.
Yesterday I didn't do well at eating consciencely. I keept eating and doing something else. I need to be better at that as well.
Today's going well so far, here's the plan
Meal#1 5 points
yogurt-1
mixed fruit-1
crunchy barely-3
meal #2 5 points
peanutbutter and crackers
meal#3 5 Points
Subway 6" veggie delight with swiss cheese and spicy mustard on wheat-4
This is Today's normal day post. First thing in the morning and my hands are pinching. Yay!
I'm thinking I would like to clean the house, do some grocery shopping and cook for next week's meals.
I'm dying for cheesecake. I would reall like to spend my 5 points on that tonight, I'm going to have to see if I can find one that fits into points
Today's goal(s): Eat consciencely, Eat 30 points of "good" food, get all above chores done.
Meal#1 5 Points
Dannon FF yogurt-1
Frozen Mixed Berries 3/4c-1
crunchy wheat and barley cereal 1/2c-3
Meal# 2
Swiss miss Hot Chocolate 1/4c-1
1 c roasted beets-0
5 ak-mok Crackers-2
Onion Dip-2
Meal #3
Veggie Soup-0
Cold Pepper Turkey-3
5 ak-mok crackers-2
Meal #4
Either Asian Pear or Peach-1
Whole Almonds 3TBS-4
Meal # 5
100 cal kettle Popcorn-2
Chocolate raspberry pudding-1
Carrots-0
Dip-2
Meal#6
Brown Rice 1/2c-2
Beets 1c-0
Oil-2
Lime juice-0
2 Tiny peices of stir fried pork(country style)-1
Treat (cheesecake? other?)-5 points
Writing it like this looks like I'm going to be stuffed! I can't believe I am going to eat that much! If I feel deprived I should come and take a look at this blog to make sure I don't feel like that anymore.
Working on the Plan for next week before I go shopping.
Its important I keep my motivation in mind. Although I feel that this time I'm losing weight I should have better reasons then last I still don't "feel" like losing weight this time. Err.... Making myself healthier.
1. I'm doing this to ease, and possibly stop the symptoms of PCOS all together. I would really like to stop taking hormones. My nutritionist says this may be impossible because of my insulin resistance. But how can we know untl we try?
2. I'm doing this to be an inspiration to my parents. More than anything I wish they could see themselves and make better choices so that I can actually believe they will live longer and happier.
3. For more energy. No more napping for me.
4. To be happier. I know this sounds crazy, but studies have shown that people who exercise on a regular basis and eat right are happier people. I know the last time that when I exercised every day I felt better, I took care of myself better and knew I could do anything.
5. To help reduce my risk factors for several diseases, including but not limited to; Heat diseases, Cancers (I'm at high risk for ovarian, uterine and breast), Diabetes...ect. I have enough problems already and I really don't need these problems as well. I'm not saying that by being healthy I absolutely will not get these diseases, because I still could. I'm just saying that being ealthier will greatly reduce my risk factors.
6. To reconsider getting pregnant vs adopting. Right now I will not get pregnant because of the PCOS without intensive fertility treatments which I am fundamentally against getting. If I can't get pregnant then there is a reason why, Darwinism and all that. On top of that if I get pregnant like this there is high likelyhood (95-99%) that my child would be BORN OBESE.
So, those are my motivations to lose weight. Some really good reasons to lose the weight I think. How come I still don't "feel" like doing it? I'm just going to have to fake it till I make it I guess.
