Phew, got through Christmas!
It's a while since I wrote. I had a major problem with computer but finally it's sorted out.
I had a good Christmas and New Year and didn't cheat once. It was difficult at times because I was sometimes under pressure to eat something. My mum kept saying "shouldn't you eat some fruit", my dad was saying "you're just being a martyr, not eating any food". It's a bit disappointing really that they don't approve of what I've done - they hardly said anything about how much slimmer I looked. It's interesting though that I still feel that I need their approval.
Doing the cognitive behaviour therapy has brought up alot of other issues for me too. It has been a revelation!
This is the first time I have hope for a slimmer, fitter future. I started dieting thirty years ago and at that time I wasn't even fat! Honestly, I saw some old photos that mum got down from the loft and I was shocked (the HAIRSTYLES - never, never, NEVER get a perm!). Was that really me? Why did I feel that I had to diet? Well, my friends were all size 6 - 8. It's no wonder that I, as a size 14 felt like an elephant.
What a sad waste of time. And I kept making the same mistakes again and again and got fatter and fatter, and more desparate until my relationship with food was completely screwed up.
Lighterlife has given me the breathing space to take stock, to analyse my behaviours, and to create a real, fresh, new start. I've been doing the development programme for four months now and will soon move on to the management programme - this will be crucial to long-term success because it deals with the reintroduction of food back into my daily life. This part of the programme takes about 12 weeks and CBT and TA continues during this time. Once I stop taking the packs and am 100% back on real food, there will be continued weekly support available. I have heard the some people 'miss out' the management programme because they have got rid of their excess weight and feel confident about staying slim. I have no illusions about myself though. I know that I must complete the management programme and take the support and advice offered.
I willl let you know what happens!
