SOOO TIRED....

Hello everyone!  It has been a while since I posted.  I haven't been doing as good as I would like to be doing on this diet thing for the past couple of weeks.  Last week my husband went out of town on a deep sea fishing trip so I enjoyed the quiet time a little too much.  We ate at my Mom's house a couple of nights...you know those deep southern women....the ones that deep fry EVERYTHING...that's my MOM!  Then this week I left on Thursday headed to my sister's house in Athens, GA.  I think my sister cooked once the whole time we were there and that was the first night!  She has had a gastric bypass so she doesn't really eat that much.  She snacks on candy CONSTANTLY!  She didn't really have anything but junk so that is what we ate...JUNK!  I feel so bad and runned down this morning and I know it is from all that unhealthy eating I have been doing.  I stepped on the scale this morning and it said I had gained 3 pounds.  I was happy with that because I was thinking more on the lines of 10.  I just have got to get back on the straight and narrow!  I am back at home and no excuses left!  I still want to have lost 30 more pounds by my trip in August and I am NOT getting it done like this, am I?  I feel so depressed everytime I am with my sister.  She was always a "big girl" like me but since she had her gastric bypass about a year ago she is skinny and looking good and I feel like I have been left behind.  People look at her and say how pretty she is and I notice the way people look and treat her.  I guess it is a little of the jealousy bug coming out in me but I WANT THAT SO MUCH.  It is SO damn hard.  It is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I can't believe that I have lost what I have.  I think before I would have always quit before even getting to where I am right now.  I don't want to quit though!!!!  I want to see this journey through.  I want to be the pretty one that everyone looks at with approval and not disqust.  I just need to hope back on the weight loss wagon and do the best I can that fits my lifestyle!  Here's too success!