Out of the mouth of babes.....

Last night as I was brushing my daughter's hair she hit me with a ton of bricks.  She told me that one of the little girls in her class told her that her Mommy was fat and that she looked like a PIG!  I sat in stunned silence for the longest time.  I didn't know if I should cry or be mad.  If a 5-year-old kid seen me like this, what did adult people look at me like?  I cried.  I have been working so hard and I still look like a pig.  How can this be?  How could I let myself get to the point to where a child says you look like a pig?  I have been going to the gym almost every day and working my ass off and I am still at the pig status!  Will I ever win this weight war?  Will I ever be comfortable in my own skin?  Will anyone ever look at me (other then my husband ) and think...What a beautiful woman?  I am not quite sure that my mood today is all because of the comment but today I am feeling so down.  I am feeling like going in the break room and buying all the snicker bars one by one and sitting in the bathroom and consuming ever last one of them.  Isn't that what a pig would do?  I know that kids will be kids but that kid really hit me hard.  My other daughter was really upset that my daughter told me that.  She kept telling me all night how beautiful and SKINNY I looked.  That did make me feel a little better.  I thought once I got out of school I wouldn't have to deal with those mean ass school kids but now I am dealing with my children's mean ass school kids!  How does that work?! 

WOW

I can only imagine how hard that was to hear, but try to take some satisfaction in the fact that you are working towards a healthier you. You have lost 24 pounds alredy, and pretty soon, if it hasn't already, it is going to really start showing! One day soon that little girl is going to tell your daughter how skinnier her mommy looks! I know that its hard right now, and those snickers bars sound so good... but proving that 5 year old will feel so much better, and staying the course will help you get there even faster. Hang in there!

Sara

You said it yourself

When you left school you didn't expect to have to deal with mean kids...

So you know already how cruel children can be. With that knowledge, why did it bother you? Because it hurts to be insulted, even if you care nothing about the person who insulted you. The trouble is, if the kid had said you look like a police officer or a office manager, it might not have hurt so bad. The kid hit on your own fears when saying you look like a pig - your own fears that you are unattractive and gross.

Does this kid define you? No. What if this kid is just speaking for the rest of your daughter's friends? Does your daughter's friends define you? Not at all. And let's go even further and say that what if this kid was speaking for their parents (which is probably where they heard things like that-an insensitive adult who has a problem with people of size)? Do those parents define you? Change who you are? Make you a pig just because of their opinion? NO!!!

You are who you are, regardless of what they say. Calling you names doesn't in any way change the person you are. Other people's opinions are none of your business...and they are just opinions. You cannot change them any more than they can change you. If someone called your daughter fat and a pig, what would you say to her? Treat yourself with the same kindness you would show others.

Kids can be cruel, and it's likely that this kid was trying to get a rise out of your daughter. I don't know the ages so that is hard to even guess what the intent was...but more importantly you might want to ask your daughter why she felt she should tell you.

Did she want you to know her friend felt that way? Did she want to talk about the fact that the kid wanted to hurt her by insulting her mother? Does it bother her that you are overweight? Do what her friends think of her parents bother her? Things like that - it is a great opportunity to see into what your daughter thinks about weight and what may be her philosophy about it in her later life.

Do not get that snickers. Keep on track. You are not responsible for other people's opinions...they form them from their own set of experiences and beliefs. Take care of yourself, and open up that chat with your daughter to see what she thinks of it, because that is the real issue. I doubt she told you that to hurt you - it sounds like an opening to something else, and there could be some  really good conversations about body image laying in wait.

Good luck.

i have to admit...

I have to admit that when I read  "I thought once I got out of school I wouldn't have to deal with those mean ass school kids but now I am dealing with my children's mean ass school kids! " you had made me laugh. Honestly, you should print t-shirts that say that and sell them. I'd buy one, and I don't even have kids!

Anyways, it may make you feel good to know that I totally covet (covet!) your 24 lb loss.

And one day those mean ass kids will be teenagers and get acne. So there =P

Nox