11/05/2009 03:53
Thanks
I just want to say thank you to all of you with your kind comments and support. It's comforting to know people care even if they don't really know you!
Tomorrow is going to be a rough day, as it's the funeral. I just hope my aunts and uncles behave and play nice. There has been issues between them since my grandparents started going downhill. I just hope they can be mature enough to make it through the day.
School is not going so good, as I had to withdraw from a course. Not too happy with myself there! But I'd rather have a withdrawal than a fail on my transcript. I know it's the right choice.
The scale was up this morning, not surprising. I deserved it. I still don't feel all that guilty about it though. Things have to start improving, hopefully soon, then I can get my head back in to all of this.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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11/03/2009 16:38
Remembering
My wedding day (12 years ago). My grandparents with my hubby and I. Not hard to tell whose related - can't imagine where my shortness comes from! So, this was me at my highest weight, about 169 lbs. My grandma passed away 6 years ago, and now my grandpa this past Friday.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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11/03/2009 05:18
Getting tired of this downward spiral
I notice a trend in my blogs lately - down, depressing, BLAH. Today adds to it some more. I had to withdraw from a class today, and I feel awful having to do it. But I have no choice. My midterm exams were BRUTAL. The reason I had to drop the class was because I need to get 100% on the final in order to get the required exemption grade. If I couldn't pass the midterm, how the hell can I pass the final with 100%??? OMG I knew each semester was getting harder, but holy! I am so disappointed in myself right now. I guess when it rains it really does pour.
And I can't friggin stop eating. And I don't care. I should, but I just don't. I have a funeral to go to on Thursday. I hope I can get my eating back under control. I never thought I was an emotional eater, but this is an eye opener for me. I think I'll refrain from posting anything until something improves. I don't like whiny me.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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11/01/2009 18:07
Trying not to be too bad
My grandpa passed away Friday night, and it started to hit me yesterday. Then I really wanted to binge on chocolate. So I raided the munchkin's candy stash. I had too much, but not as much as I could have. I did manage to stop myself before I got really carried away. I guess I do stress eat after all. The next little while will be tough though. There is just too much going on. Exams are over (thankfully), but now I'm worried how I did on them. I didn't have enough time to even finish one of them, so I am very concerned about that one. I have a paper due in a week that is going to be brutal to research - nothing duller than writing a paper about accounting theory. UGH. There is a pile of paper and research to do soon. A funeral. My hubby's tax stuff for his company still needs to be put together and taken in to the accountant, which should have been done months ago. The house is a continual disaster. I honestly don't even know where to start anymore with anything. I'm surprised I'm not sitting in a pile of candy wrappers right now! Guess it's time to make a list and prioritize.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/28/2009 15:27
FINALLY! UGH!!!
It is so nice to FINALLY see not only a loss, but for me a big loss! I don't usually lose more than 2 lbs in one week. Maybe there are times I retain water during my visitors stay, whatever the case, it's gone and there's weight gone too, so I'm happy! Only 10 more to go - but experience tells me those 10 are the hardest. I can't see any reason not to be at goal by our trip at the end of January, heck that gives me 12 weeks. AND I get 2 things out of my little clothing stash too.
My stress level is still pretty high though. I had a 3 hour exam on Monday, and I didn't have enough time to finish. Not feeling too confident on this one. I hate handing in a test with unfinished answers. Now I have one more to study for on Friday. And to add to my stress, I found out late last night my grandpa isn't doing well. It is sounding like he won't last too much longer. We are going to try to pop in to see him this afternoon when my DD is done school. I hope we're not too late. I feel bad not going to see him now, but I cannot do this again. With my grandma we sat in the hospital for hours and watching her die was the hardest thing I have ever done. I just can't do that again. And having a test looming over head that I really need to study hard core for is not helping. I feel like I'm being selfish. But I can't reschedule life - whether it's exams or people being sick.
My other 'issue' is the last time the family went on the tangent of 'he's not going to make it through the night' he got better. They got me all upset over something they ASSUMED was going to happen. They were convinced. I don't actually recall a doctor saying there was no hope. He was doing really poorly, yes, but the meds got his pneumonia cleared up. He got better, although not to the level he was. That was about 2 years ago. I know he has been going downhill since then, and maybe this time is going to be 'it'. I haven't visited much, and that does make me feel bad. With his dementia, he doesn't even know who most of us are anymore. Plus my daughter gets a little scared of him. He's not the grandpa I remember anymore, and that's pretty hard to deal with.
I assume when we do go, he won't be aware of who we are at all, if he's even awake. My daughter wants to go see him, which really surprises me (she's 9). I want to go see him too, but I really want to be there for my dad. I'm glad hubby's here this time too, he wasn't when my grandma went, and that was hard for me to go alone.
Well, I rambled on there a little more than I intended to. I should go get some studying done while I have some time.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/21/2009 16:14
I can't remember the last time I felt this crappy
I hurt. It's all TOM related, but OMG. Midol is barely even touching the pain in my back. I'm at the point where I'm thinking I'm going to stay home from classes today. I should be heading out the door in 5 minutes - but I'm not dressed, I ache, and I just want to sleep. I could use the day to focus on studying for exams next week, I need to very much. Once the pain goes away I can focus on that. Now I remember part of the reason I was on bc, I sure didn't feel like this while I was on it! Not to mention the fact I feel like a bloated cow. I gained, I wasn't really bad this past week, so I think part of it may be TOM related. I just feel so gross today. blah.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/21/2009 05:19
Disappointing day
My hope of avoiding fertility drugs has been crushed. I am rather bummed out. I guess maybe this whole baby thing is something I want more than I realized. Well, 1 week until our appointment, and we'll see what they have to say about our tests. It must be nice to have a normal reproductive system.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/21/2009 05:14
Am I calculating this right?
I'm kind of in disbelief over this one, and need verification! I had what I always thought was a 1 point ice cream from Dairy Queen. The fudge bar. I looked it up to re calculate it, and I get 0 points. REALLY??? Can some one calculate it and see if you get the same thing? Free ice cream would rock! The DQ website says 50 calories, 0 fat, 6 fiber.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/20/2009 15:57
Consider voting on this picture please!
I'm trying to get a picture on a Jones Soda bottle 
I don't know if voting helps this process or not, but if you are so inclined, please go have a peek and vote!
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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10/20/2009 01:38
Bad choice, but so good
I adore banana bread. Silly me left for school this morning without eating breakfast. So when I went to Starbucks for my usual latte (the lady doesn't even ask me what I want anymore - going to often perhaps?), I got myself a slice of banana bread as well. It was very good today. I had my other usual snacks through out the day that I typically throw in my back pack too. So I came home and looked up said banana bread. 9 FREAKING POINTS!!! OMG! I think I should try to find myself a low fat recipe, but I don't know that any of them would be as good. I'm pretty picky about my banana bread.
Posted By: Torgysgurl
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