how short life can be

My dear friend came by yesterday and I found out her boyfriend had passed away of a heart attack.  He was only forty four years old and they had no idea he had any heart troubles.  I was shaken down deep inside because it reminded me how valuable each and every day is.  Something like this happens to people you usually don't know, and you feel bad but thankful that you don't know them.  This brought it home and made me realize even more how important it is that I take care of myself and continue to have my regular check-ups at the physicians.  It also reminded me to tell my husband each and every day how much I love him.

Every day is a blessing and we should cherish every minute!!!

feeling so much better

Let me tell you how much better I am feeling.  I am refocused and ready to do this for the long haul.  This was just a small blip on the radar and I am sure I will have a few more in the future I just have to remember to never give up on myself.  I believe my scale is being kind to me but it is hard to tell because I have been working third shift the last two nights and it is hard to get a true reading because you eat at odd times of the day.  So I am not going to report my weight until I actually weigh in on Friday at Jenny Craig ( I am going to go no matter what).  I do feel like I have more energy than I have had in a long time at work and in life in general.  I know in February I was like when will I start feeling better and get more energy...each workout seemed so tough and all of a sudden I look back and think when did it happen, when did it get better??  It feels like it just did...overnight..lol 

I am also at that stage where alot of people are noticing and it is a good stage yet a bad stage because now you start getting all the questions every single day...how much have you lost now?  should you be eating that?  and if one more person asks me how much it costs me...urghh..  I almost liked it better when nobody noticed...lol

refocus

I really need to refocus and get my head back into my weight loss program.  I have some how let this stress overwhelm me this weekend and fell back into old habits and I can not do that.  We went up to the trailer and I found myself eating for no reason (boredom, stress, emotions I cannot even put a name on).  I did go for a walk both days but today I have one of my old headaches and I feel very sluggish and yucky so I know I have taken some steps backwards.  Funny I knew better then to do this yet I did it.  Why??  I even cancelled my Jenny Craig appointment on Friday because I thought I would gain or break even and didn't want the added stress.  I don't understand why we make it this far and blow it.  I can not give up on myself, I wouldn't give up on anyone else, why would I give up on me??  I must refocus...I AM REFOCUSED

saga continues

The stress has continued and I am not sure how I have stayed away from food but I have.  I took my niece prom dress shopping today and we had a real nice time but my other niece who is eighteen who is a half sister found out today that the other one was kicked out and took the news very hard so we ended up coming home quickly so we could all just be together. I really just want to continue to move forward with my life, making myself better.  I am sad though that others feel so strongly against me..Some days it is tough....Today it is tough...

emotional eating

Well I have mentioned before I am a very emotional eater and today was an incredible day.  I have mentioned in the past that my father passed away in the summer and I have been estranged from my sister and brother since.  It is a long story but boils down to my father left me some money and they are angry I didn't share it with them.  I understand their anger but I also took care of my father alot and so did my husband and I know we deserved the money he left us.  The sad part of this story is that they have children that they are expecting to chose sides now instead of just letting them love us both, they feel that it is disrespectful for them to want to see me even though I have been a huge part of their lives.  My brother basically told his seventeen year old daughter to make a choice tonight between me or him, kicking her out of his house for saying she wanted to still see me.  It is just a very sad situation.  I took control of my life and the people who have controlled me don't like it.   With all that said you would think I would eat myself out of house and home but for a change I have no desire to eat.  The new controlled Terry knows that will not help me.

Easter

Well I had an incredible day today.  I spent it with alot of people who are very dear to me.  Unfortunately I ate way to much but am not going to be to hard on myself just going to jump back on the bandwagon first thing in the morning.  I figure one bad day will set me back alittle but will not break me, tomorrow is a new day.

We did go up and opened our trailer for the summer and each day we took a walk around the campground.  That is something that has never happened before and we have been there for three years now, this being our fourth.  There was a time that I looked at my husband and he actually looked winded so I asked him if I should slow down and he said no he was ok..I had to laugh because two summers ago we went for a walk and when we came back he went for another walk because we walked too slow when we were out (I never walked with him again until this past weekend).  Very strange to feel the difference.  It is like you almost look forward to the activity.

quick yahoooooo

I just had to post a quick YAHOOOO before I left town that I just weighed in and lost another 2.8.   I am so darn excited I could just burst this morning...I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Easter!!!

Therapist said

Well today I had a very interesting visit with my therapist.  He said I am making great progress with not only my weight loss but with my choices to take care of myself.  I was afraid that all the concentration I was placing on myself and my wellbeing would make me seem selfish but it would to the people who didn't have my best interests at heart.  It was time for me to take my life back, it was time for me to take control of my life, it was time for me to stop being a spectator and get into the game.    I finally feel like I am heading down the path of life I was trully meant to be on. 

My husband and I have a trailer at a seasonal site up north that we are opening up tomorrow so I am not going to be around til after Easter so I hope everyone has a great one.  Enjoy your Easter eggs!!!! 

Finally nice weather

Well I am happy to report that my chiropractor appointments are really making a difference.  My every day headaches are now down to maybe two or three a week and not as bad as they were and I have not needed to take the strong medicines I was on for almost three weeks.  Plus the weather has finally started to warm up here and so I can start doing some walking outside which seems to make a difference as well with my headaches. 

Went out to eat with some friends tonight to a Greek place and it was interesting to even notice my choices.  Before I would have had something really fattening and without pause I ordered a salad and gyro (only ate half) and was actually full.  I really surprised myself. 

Interesting

I really enjoy reading the blogs just to feel connected to others who are going through the same struggles and same triumphs that I am.  I read some blogs tonight and I felt so connected.  Like I was shopping with some of you or hungry with some of you or exercising our butts off.  These blogs have been such a wonderful connection for me.  I have been going through a rough patch in my life and really trying to find myself not only weight wise but just all around and it is so nice to feel that there are others out there who care.

So a big thank you to all of you!!!  You all have been such an inspiration.