excited

I am so excited, I just returned from my weigh in and I lost another 3.6 lbs which put me past the 50 mark...WOOHOOO I made it past the first goal I had for myself.   They also took my measurements this visit and I lost an inch off each area so now I have lost a total of 18 inches all around.

So my friend and I are going out shopping today to celebrate and to buy some new pants since mine are hanging in the buttocks area and I think it is finally time...Yipppeee.

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

that darn scale

Okay today my niece came over because we were going to start this new challange between the two of us where we are going to try and lose twenty pounds by Sept. 1 and if we doubled that to forty we would go on a weekend getaway somewhere together.  Well she came with one of those fancy scales that tells you how much fat percentage you are  (which my scale doesn't do) and low and behold I got on it and it read 49% and I almost wanted to cry.  I was almost shocked, I realize I am fat but I didn't think I was half fat..lol  Well anyways it just motivated this fat butt of mine to just kick it into gear even more.  Let the work outs begin...

first time

Last night was the first time this happened,  I was working third shift and they were having a big pig out for opening day and they had hot dogs with all the fixings.  On a normal night I wouldn't think twice about wanting a hot dog but watching everyone loading up their hot dogs with their fixings I could've grapped them right out of their hands and ate like ten of them, oh my gosh it was insane.  They had chips and salsa which I love and that didn't bother me but those stupid hot dogs just called out my name..lol  I was good though and just continued to eat my bag of JC popcorn and orange and rocked out to my music and read my homework and tried to remember my end goal.. Now I am back to thinking that hot dogs are gross...lol

Where does the time go

Well here it is April already and soon we will be into summer and wearing some shorts and short sleeved shirts and for a change I am actually excited for summer to come.  I am usually excited for it to come because we camp and I lay around a pool and tan all summer but this summer I am actually looking forward to activity like biking and walking (something I am never usually looking forward to).  I am also looking forward to the fresh fruit that will be coming out like peaches, plums and strawberries.   I don't think this will be the year that I will be excited yet about the clothes (maybe towards the end of summer) because I have a good portion yet to lose but I do know that next year we are taking our nieces on a cruise in June and I will look awesome for that.  So thought I would talk alittle bit about sun today since it is rainy and gloomy outside.  Here's to fun in the sun!!!!

This brain of mine

Well I am not sure if I have said this or not but I am back in school going for my nursing degree.  I have worked in the hospital here in Milwaukee for twenty years in the lab and have decided that I would return back to school and finally fulfill a longtime dream of becoming a nurse.  I am only going part time and let me tell you it isn't easy after being out of school for over twenty years.  I am in anatomy and physiology 2 and also medical terminology this semester and tonight I am suppose to be studying for a big digestive test tomorrow and I just can not get my mind into it.  With my headaches it has been a bigger challange than it already was with my age..lol  I am doing the best I can though. 

With all this stress in my life I am so surprised I have hung in there with my diet so well.  I am such an emotional eater.  I think I will look back some day at this moment and really wonder how I survived all this change..  As they say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger !!!  I posted a recent picture, thought I would show how I have changed.  Finally a couple more people at work have noticed the weight loss which is exciting.  Helps to motivate ya.

weighed in today

Well I weighed in today and lost another pound.   I sure wish my scale at home matched the scale at Jenny Craig or better yet I wish I could strip down to nothing and weigh right out of the shower..lol  This morning when I weighed myself before I went to weigh in there my scale said 222.5 so I would have hit the fifty mark but by the time I dressed and made it there it read 224.2 so I was alittle disappointed for a split second but then I was  thrilled with the loss none the less.

Also bought a balance ball today, going to give that a try.  Let's hope I don't hurt myself on it..lol   Hope you all have a great weekend...

surprised today

Well today was alittle surprising for me.  I finally got in to see the therapist I had wanted to see to help with my headaches and stress release and he pretty much told me that at this point he thought I should just continue down the path I was going with the diet, exercise, and chiropractor and basically taking care of myself.  So the surprising part was I felt alright with his answer because for a change I am on the list.  I have spent so much time in the past taking care of others and making sure they were doing good I had forgotten about myself.

Now the hard part for me is not feeling selfish.  I still have others on my list but sometimes I feel like I am concentrating so much on myself lately that I have become selfish (that word seems harsh, but couldn't think of the right word for it). 

Does anyone else have these feelings??How do you deal with these feelings??

awed

My niece just left and she is seventeen and has the world ahead of her and she leaves me in awe everytime I see her.  She is an amazing girl with so much self esteem I hope she always continues down the path she is on because she has so much potential in her future and has so much to offer the world.  I have been blessed with some very beautiful nieces and nephews to fill the void of not having children and I thank god daily for bringing them into my life.  They bring me so much joy and I love to see how much they have to offer.  They all have such great hearts and their futures are so full of promise.  Since my father passed away things have been strained in my family between two of my siblings and I, but my nieces and nephews always show nothing but love to me and for that I will always be grateful.  Self esteem is such a necessary thing to have when your young, I am sorry I am just getting mine now when I am just getting ready to turn forty.  People always thought I had great self esteem because when I was in front of my nieces or nephews I would act like I was the queen of everything because I wanted them to always believe they were but inside I never believed it, until now.  Now I am starting to make myself believe I matter.  Slowly.. very slowly...  this is my year to believe.....

Another pound gone

Well just had another weigh in and I lost another 1.6 lbs and I feel good today.  It is funny in the past I would have been so disappointed in that weigh in because I would have wanted to lose so much more faster but this time I know I want it slow and steady.  I know I am in this for the long haul, usually by now I would be bored and would be thinking of ways to sabotage my efforts.  I am not sure why I have always sabotaged my efforts in the past, I would lose 30 or 40 pounds and then feel better about myself and then start eating the wrong stuff again.  It is a pattern in my life, one I am going to break this time.  Went shopping yesterday and for the first time in a long time I tried on a shirt and actually looked in the mirror and giggled because I loved how it looked.  I am looking forward to more of those days.

Feel HAPPY

I am happy to announce that hope is alive and I am feeling very happy today.  I do not have a headache today.  I have had a headache for a month straight.  I went for a massage today and it was wonderful and I truly loved it, so much so that I scheduled another one for next week already.  There are some things in life that we just need to take advantage of.  Plus I heard that it is good for weight loss because it gets rid of bad toxins (that's what I tell my husband..lol)  I hope that everyone is having a great day.